are we hyper-parent?

misy

Reply 20# figurae


    betul tu..kadang kita underestimate dgn anak2 ni, kadang derang lagi panjang akalnya
tapi tu lah, kena ada strike and balance la kot, berpada pada, kalau biar terus pun tak boleh gak, mcm nak biarkan derang main kat swimming pool sesama budak2, tak patut la kan

figurae

byk benda nak kena tengok..  kalau kat swimming pool tu gile la.. kt rumah pon pintu toilet mmg sentiasa tutup.. yela.. budak2 kan suka main air.. bahaya.. biarlah toilet tu takde peredaran udara asalkan anak selamat.. ade mase kite leh lepas anak kite.. ikut situasi..ade mase kite terpaksa buat anak kita menagis drpd kite sendiri yg menangisi anak kita

merak7118

Reply  misy


    kasi dia belajar berkawan dari kecik.. kang takdela anti sosial..
figurae Post at 23-3-2011 11:20

tulah aku anta anak umo 3thn+ blaja bia dia berkawan tp dia x suka berkawan bdk seusia dia, dia nk kwn budak yg besar..so kt taska tu pas waktu blaja aku tgk dia akn melepak ngn cikgu x hirau kwn2 yg bermain (aku suka wat spot check)...bila aku tanya knp xnk main ngn kwn2 dia jwb 'xsuka kwn2, suka cikgu je'...anak2 buah akua da yg sebaya dia pn dia xder nk main sgt, dia akn srh yg besar bacakn buku cerita utk dia so mcm2 le buku aku beli ikut yg anak aku pilih (since anak aku umo 2bln aku mmg bacakn buku utk depa)..lg satu anak aku ni blk 6pm smp rmh trs buka buku buat ulangkaji, yg kecik umo 1thn setengah pn sama je smp rmh amik buku, pensil/kaler tekun je dua org tu dok ngadap 'keje' memasing...biasa pas siap msk aku srh dia stop, simpan buku, makan & tgk tv rehat.   

sitisitu25

Hyper parent
adakah kita;
terlampau mengonkong anak2, over indulged, over protected our kids?
cth2nya

- seawal umur 4-5 thn, dihantar ke mcm kelas...art clas, mandarin, arabic, french russian class, piano, ballet,  babygym, swimming, gymnastic, etc...sehingga anak2 takde masa utk bermain, spend time on their own, to explore things and self learning...semua proses pembelajaran dia dgn intervention org dewasa?
buat ms sekarang, anto nursery jek..kat sana dia da byk belajar ngan kwn2 sebaya n abg2 n kakak lebih tua..setakat cket2, kat umah je aku ajar..add math,bio sume tak ajar lg..sbb mak pak dia pun tak abis belaja lg

-competition to send our kids for the best kindys, best private school, best tution class..takut anak2 ketinggalan, tak semaju anak org2 lain?
aku takkan anta anak aku ke private school atau apa saja..melainkan yg normal2 sekola harian biasa..sekolah rendah, sekolah harian biasa smpi form 3..form 4-5, aku nk ajar dia duk asrama..sekola harian biasa, aku prefer yg jauh dr umah..

-birthday parties at hotel, restoran, hired clowns, designer cakes, banner & bunting, goodies bag dgn fancy stuff?
anak aku kesian nyer..ms 1st year bday 1 day bfore raya, so aku bz kemas beg bagai..tak wat apa2 pun bday dia..cuma everymonth amik pic dia..tu jela so far..birthday party lum ade..

-fed them with super duper foods, pills & supplement to become genius?
isomil, minyak ikan kod, ribena..vits lum ade..makan pastikan bersih dan berkhasiat..ini keperluan, bkn kehendak

-micro-parenting our child, sbb takut anak tersilap langkah dan jadi org yg gagal?
setiap org akan mengalami kegagalan... semoga dia belajar dr kesilapan..aku nk anak aku berdikari..and maybe nk dia merasa ssh..aku cuma membantu..tp jd mak ni mmg kene 'sampai hati' la..

khayzl

aku boleh dikatakan jugak... tapi aku rase hubby aku lagih lah...

anak aku sorang je - girl umur 4 tahun... hantar kat montessari sbb nak dia bersosial dan ada lebih confident dan seronok2 ngan kawan... sbb dia terlalu dependent dgn aku sampai semua benda akan tanya aku dulu sblm buat... nak susu pun tanya aku dulu padahal susu tu just right in front of her... yang ni mmg aku akui, cara didikan aku yang agak spoil... she's the only one... tinggal 2 org jer ngan maid.. semua org buatkan untuk dia... that's why kitaorg hntr ke montessari...

husband i suruh kitaorg letak bantal kat bucu2 meja... takot nanti anak terjatuh n cedera... mmg umah rase takde feel nak decorate beria2 because of this...

kalau dia pegi taman, aku pastikan dia pakai suar panjang (takut luka bila jatuh), pakai topi (time panas), bawak air masak...

my parents sgt2 teringin nak bwk anak i duduk ngan diorg untuk 2-3 hari tapi tak berani nak ckp... sbb takut nanti hubby complain anak panas lah (sbb takde air cond), takut kene gigit nyamuk (yerlah... kampung)... takut jatuh (takut takde org monitor waktu mandi, atau kat tangga).. aku tau parents aku agak terasa sbb tu dia tak bwk anak aku gi jalan mana2...

mcm2 lagih lah...

my-alja

yaa...tak malu mengaku, i'm one of them

especially bab2 keselamatan anak2....for me takde bargain
tak kisahlah nak kata i over protective ke, micro-organism parent...
in fact, my anak2 buah selalu gelakkan my kids yg masih duduk dlm booster in the car
berambik-berhantar kat mana2 saja dia pergi....

apa yg lepas adalah pembentukkan emosi anak2...bila perlu marah, i marah
bila perlu kena berleter, i berleter....nak2 lagi bila dah besar tapi perangai tak ubah2
bapak dia pun kena leter...so dalam bab nie, i masih old skool...
i tak tatang my kids cam minyak, takleh nak ditegur...tak dijentik, tak disergah
i tak tatang my kids wt a lot toys, gadget, ps...ipad, hp.....

i byk lepas my kids dalam pilihan idup dia hari2....UMUMnya pada hari cuti
kalo hari sekolah, I lepas gak...pasti anak2 ku akan ke LAUT

SO pd i, isu lepas tak lepas nie....bebtul lihat pada kemampuan dan kematangan si anak
kekadang macam cycle....cause n effect, kita jadi camni sebab anak kita camtu
dan terbalik gak, anak kita jadi camtu sebab kita camni....so w/pun sedar tapi nak break the cycle tak mudah

misy

i think we get carried away with safety plak...tu salah satu aspek dlm hyper-parenting la...

normal la parent mana tak sayang kan anak...mctm saya cakap sebelum ni how much is too much..sampai takat mana...rasanya dlm safety dept, makayah kat mesia (dlm masyarakat kita) masih normal lagi, normal la tu kita buat safety prevention kat anak2 kan tak hyper pun, malah kdg tu terkurang pun ada, tgk aje naik kereta, motor, berapa ramai budak2 buckle-up, pakai helmet....
di barat ada parents pasang microchips kat bawah kulit anak, so that they could track their kids...some sort of gps gitu..well that's hyper to me

misy

over protected, maybe belum terlampau lagi kot dlm masyarakat kita..but what about over-indulged, over-priviledged, over-scheduled our kids...i rasa benda ni yg banyak berlaku kan...

misy

i letak excerpt dari Carl Honore about "Slow-parenting" as oppose to Hyper-parenting

“Slow” in this context does not mean doing everything at a snail’s pace. It means doing everything at the right speed. That implies quality over quantity; real and meaningful human connections; being present and in the moment. The Slow creed can be applied to everything we do: work, sports, medicine, food, sex, design…and, of course, child-rearing.

To me Slow Parenting is about bringing balance into the home. Children need to strive and struggle and stretch themselves but that does not mean childhood should be a race. Slow parents give their children plenty of time and space to explore the world on their own terms. They keep the family schedule under control so that everyone has enough downtime to rest, reflect and just hang out together. They accept that bending over backwards to give children the best of everything may not always be the best policy (because it denies them the much more useful life lesson of how to make the best of what they’ve got.)

Slow parenting means allowing our children to work out who they are rather than what we want them to be. It means letting things happen rather than jumping in and forcing them. It means accepting that the richest kinds of learning and experience often cannot be measured or neatly packaged on a résumé or CV.

Slow parents understand that childrearing should not be a cross between a competitive sport and product-development. It is not a project; it’s a journey. Slow parenting is about giving kids lots of love and attention with no conditions attached

my-alja

Reply 27# misy

di barat ada parents pasang microchips kat bawah kulit anak, so thatthey could track their kids...some sort of gps gitu..well that's hyperto me

ermm....actually, susah gak nak imagine benda2 camni

i wonder gak, tapi i rasa documentari tu mesti ada kelompok kajiannya tersendiri
mungkin dlm kajian mereka, kelompok2 camni....yg jenis mak/ayah tertentu, taraf ekonomi tertentu
dgn life style tertentu, persekitaran tertentu....
katalah kalo kat UK, anak2 yg duk massion, ada butler, duk plak area mayfair....
so kalo kelompok camni, mungkin gaklah....mak/ayah over nak protect anak2

tapi kalo rakyat2 biasa kat UK, anak mereka sangat FREE....
anak2 sekolah balik jalan kaki saja, kecuali anak2 kecik....
kenangan tgk budak2 balik sekolah kat swiss lagi menarik....
anak2 kindy pakai baju safety saja like orange and green.....jalan dgn kawan2 sampai rumah
tapi kat swiss nie, rakyat dia sangat berdisiplin.....
org2 bawa kete mahal pun, nampak budak lintas jalan....depa berhenti serta-merta
tak macam org2 kita.....

melalut plak bercerita....kalo i dlm negara camtu, i think...i will let my kids to be free

my-alja

over protected, maybe belum terlampau lagi kot dlm masyarakat kita..but what about over-indulged, ov ...
misy Post at 24-3-2011 09:19

i undertstand this phenomenon happens only in asian countries....
esp singapore...

my-alja

i letak excerpt dari Carl Honore about "Slow-parenting" as oppose to Hyper-parenting

“Slow” in  ...
misy Post at 24-3-2011 09:24

cam i selalu kata, anak2 nie unik.....
ada anak2 kena push, ada anak2 bole dibiar....

i have both of them....so tak tahu nak kata, mana yg OK....mana yg KO
both are good in certain situation and need

figurae

uih.. sampai macam tu sekali la korg jaga anak korg.. adakah figu yang bagi anak kebebasan (yg tak over protective) ni kire ketinggalan zaman.. sekarang sume parent kena macam tu ke

tehlaut

baca soklan kaka misy...
den hampir hampir nk jadi mcm tuh...
tp tk mampu nk jadi mcm tuh...
ekeekekeke... sudahnya den back to zaman dolu dolu....
tp rasanya den adalah anak yg ada hyper parent nih... sorry mak... ;)

misy

Reply 30# my-alja


    i refer to that documentary...ia berlaku globally skrg...bukan stakat kat US & upper class shj

it's creeping into mid class, kat britain, sweden, canada...(asia tak masuk scope plak dlm documentary tu)..
cth kat US they cal it helicopter parent...parent kept hovering over their kids activity, sampai ke peringkat anak2 dah kerja pun parent get involve, called their kids employer to nego about salary...sampai keperingkat macam tu.
cth lagi kat sweden, parent yg scoop snow while their children walking to school...looks like it's happening globally
ditambah pulak dgn franchise benda2 mcm kumon, mensa...mcm2 lagi skill enrichment class...this company are making billions dollar globally...thanks to the support from hyper-parents and their fears of their child are not keeping up with others.

misy

Reply 33# figurae


    tak ketinggalan zaman...new trends or idea tak semestinya bagus

apa yg dirisaukan, trend hyper parenting ni bakal melahirkan generasi yg lembik, tak tahu berusaha sendiri, tak resillient

merak7118

uih.. sampai macam tu sekali la korg jaga anak korg.. adakah figu yang bagi anak kebebasan (yg tak o ...
figurae Post at 24-3-2011 10:41

tak lah figu, tgk budak gak.klu anak2 figu blh berdikari & figu trust them xder masalah. cm aku ni sbb anak sulung tu kena perhatian lebih tu yg adiknyer pn kena sama hahahaha...aku ni smp tahap selipar/kasut anak2 pn make sure ciri2 keselamatan,klu ada yg jual blh balance budak drp terjatuh compem aku beli (sadis kn aku nih)...ayah aku kata bia je bdk2 tu tp aku mmg xblh la sbb aku xnk menyesal di kmd hari.

misy

Reply 34# tehlaut

teh..tak gak, ade parent sanggup bergolok bergadai utk buat benda2 ni
cth, ade yg sanggup korek duit simpanan, just to register their kids to the best Kindy..

rasanya parent dulu2 lagi over protective kot...hari tu masa pegi kursus, buat personality profiling, memang tak ramai yg jatuh bawah idealist, art...sbb cara didikan dulu2, asyik kena belajar-belajar-belajar, buat apa yg disuruh,kelas tambahan, tuisyen..creative part tolak ketepi, nak join cocuriculum pun tak boleh

misy

Reply 38# merak7118


    hihi tak sampaitahap sadis lagi..kenapa anak sulung tu kena bagi lebih perhatian?

misy

ni pun dpt dari gugel


How hyper-parents can empower their children:

1. Parents can give their children more responsibility and decision-making power so that they may develop an internal locus of control (high self-worth). This is important in all stages of development

2. Parents can teach their children to ask for what they need and support them in being accountable for their decisions.

3. Parents can set clear boundaries and provide their children with advice and guidance. It is beneficial for your child to make decisions and learn from their mistakes

4. Be proud of your child for his or her achievements and celebrate each accomplishment together.



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