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Reply 115# misy
i rasa nak masuk university ke tak bukannya ultimatum...yg penting apa dia nak buat dgn masa depan dia
am i a weirdo if i say i dont set target that my kids MUST graduate from university? rasa2nya ada tak parents yang tak meletakkan ultimatum university sebagai puncak kejayaan dalam hidup? i rasa i kena carik parents yang pemikiran sama dengan i untuk dibuat besan, kalau tak ...sian anak i....
bill gates pun tak habis belajar university, tak silap i pencipta google (or was it facebook) pun separuh jalan. But they have other strength that made them where they are.
tapi, yes bak kata Kak alja, anak2 adalah sumber kebanggaan mak ayah.... anak yang berjaya. itu pun KPI my mum. meletakkan kberkesanan dia sebagai mak adalah berdasarkan berapa banyak anak dia masuk U. susah gak tuh |
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Reply 101# hanna1905
dah tak keje...beralih arah pulak...nak jadi..PRAMUGARI...sbb suka tgk citer Awan Dania...
if i tanya my son pulak, his answer would be either "spiderman", Superman or Ultraman..... kita layankan ajer la.... tengok tahun depan tukar apa pulak |
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Reply 102# my-alja
kalo duk pikir, anak org bole jadi doktor...anak kita mesti gak jadi doktor
parahhh....mak/ayah nie yg patutnya masuk sekolah balik bukan anak2
tu tak termasuk, yang dari background family of doctors. kalau mak ayah doktor grad Dublin, anak2 pun seboleh2 nak grad sana jugak. Baru aci.
i dont see anything wrong with it, so long the NIAT yang diorang nak jadi doktor tu betul. Jangan jadi sebab the 'pressure' or 'expectation' orang ..... |
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Reply 1# misy
birthday parties at hotel, restoran, hired clowns, designer cakes, banner & bunting, goodies bag dgn fancy stuff
aiseh...baru nak engage clown for his coming birthday... ni dah kira hyper parent la ...kena KIV la macam ni...hhahahaha....
this reminds me of the birthday celebration Will Smith had for his son Jaden. Masa birthday Jaden, Will cakap, semua hadiah yang diberikan oleh tetamu tu akan di donate to those unfortunate kids in the welfare. This is part of teaching his son to share things with other kids, and that world does not revolve around him sajer |
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Reply 124# cn7
i googled to understand the examples of hyper parents :
http://www.cbc.ca/documentaries/doczone/2010/hyperparents/index.html
Parents are willing to overextend their budgets so they can maintain a program that will lead to their child's success. And they will do everything in their power to protect their investment - coming to the rescue whenever their child encounters adversity.
Nowhere is this more obvious than in today's classrooms. Ask any teacher and they will tell you that the toughest aspect of their job is dealing with overbearing parents who fiercely intervene at the first sign of trouble. Failure is not an option, and parents will do everything they can to make sure their child graduates top of the class so they attend a good university, which in theory leads to a good job which leads to a good life.
And you can say goodbye to saying goodbye. Reluctant to let go, moms and dads continue to hover even when their kids head to university. Many parents take it upon themselves to fill out application forms and write the admissions essay on their child's behalf.(i've seen parents yang queue masa registration instead of anak dia sendiri. Apakah????) Some even follow their pampered progeny right into the workplace - attending job interviews and even trying to negotiate salary and contracts
Hyper-parents have the best of intentions. They believe that the world is more dangerous and competitive than the carefree times of their own youth. Obsessing about our kids' safety and success has become the norm, and the pressure to hyper-parent is almost impossible to resist.
But there are indications that all of the attention parents bestow on their children may not have the outcome they had hoped for. In fact, it appears to be having the opposite effect. As the first batch of hyper-parented kids (Generation Y) emerges into adulthood, they do not seem to be quite ready for the real world. University psychologists report today's students experience higher levels of anxiety than any generation before them. And employers are pulling their hair out as Gen Y employees show up at work with an unprecedented sense of entitlement - 'Paying your dues' is not part of their vernacular. They require a lot of supervision and they challenge everything from dress code to office hierarchy. |
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How To Avoid the Hyper-Parenting Trap
ada banyak tapi i pilih2 la ek...tepek banyak2 pun tak terbaca
Limit Activities. Think long and hard before signing up for new activities. Some families make firm rules (such as, one sport per child per season) while others make decisions on a case-by-case basis. But if you say yes to too many enrichment opportunities, the whole family will pay the price. Weigh the benefits of participation against the cost - time, energy, logistical effort, stress, and expense - to you, your child, and the rest of the family.
Leave Empty Spaces on Your Calendar. Parents worry about kids' boredom, so they schedule their lives to keep them busy. But empty hours teach children how to create their own happiness - and that is an important skill we would all benefit from developing. Unscheduled time encourages children to create, imagine, see new possibilities that no one before has thought of, certainly no one designing scheduled or pre-packaged play. It teaches children to fill their own empty time enjoyably.
There Is No Single, Right Way To Parent. Every family is unique and must find its own way in the world - its own values and priorities, its own strengths, its own interests. So disregard the experts who believe they have the one right answer. With some caveats, we should all feel free to raise our children our own way - but in order to figure out what that is, each of us needs to invest some time and energy into learning what our lives are about, what we believe in, and what we value. Rush a little less; reflect a little more.
Childhood is a Preparation, Not a Performance. No one ought to be on stage all the time, not adults and certainly not children! Kids should not be judged on every aspect of their performance in life - it puts too much pressure on them, and too much pressure on us. By definition, children are immature and should not be expected to perform to adult standards. Resist the pressure from coaches, and the media, that tells you how to push your child to excel early
Pleasure Has A Place in Parents' Lives. Our brief time on earth is meant to be enjoyed, at least sometimes. Our closest relationships should be a source of pleasure, not constant pressure and tension. If we aren't having much fun with our children, spouses, friends - and even ourselves - we need to consider making some changes in our lives. Make time for a romantic dinner with your partner; every child we have ever known has done better if he knows his parents are happy, and are getting pleasure from life and their relationships.
Pleasure Has A Place In Kids' Lives Too! Childhood needn't be an endless treadmill of productivity and self-improvement. Kids deserve to have fun, down time, and empty spaces in their lives to fill any way they choose to. Many supposedly "fun" scheduled activities are anything but fun; they are tense, pressured times when a child is expected to perform. Remember, if your child enjoys his time with you now, it will stay with him forever. And emotionally at least, the relationship that has meant so much to him as a child will stay with him and bolster him as an adult. |
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Reply 120# cn7
ok.....i see
nak citer pasal anak2 nie....kena bukak satu thread lain plak...hihihi
bagus u masukkan dan monitor his progress....kalo perkembangan tu slow berbanding anak2 kawan u
jangan sedih k...
masa tu nanti, u akan berpeluang untuk mengenali perbezaan capasiti otak antara anak2 nie berbeza |
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a reminder to myself also... huhuhuhu |
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Reply my-alja
ya allah kak, i have to agree on you about this. The trend now is becom ...
cn7 Post at 1-4-2011 09:13 
sickening pada kita agaknya.....
tapi pd org2 yg suka benda2 camni....adalah justifikasi mereka sendiri
yang kesiannya anak-anak....apalah nasib anak2 camni , huhuhuhu |
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Reply 127# my-alja
bagus u masukkan dan monitor his progress....kalo perkembangan tu slow berbanding anak2 kawan u
jangan sedih k...
yes...dari situ i sort of mengenali lagi karakter anak i.... sebab bila i antar tadika, i bukan duk dengan dia. just pick up & drop off. Tapi dalam kelas tu, i sit with him, do the activities with him, so i nampak strength & weakness dia. One thing i notice, he's a follower. senang ikut perangai orang. Bila ada 1 budak ni start buat hal, dia akan ikut. Tapi bila budak ni tak ada, dia behave, tak der la nak duk buat perangai.... still in the process of understanding my own child. |
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Reply 125# cn7 As the first batch of hyper-parented kids (Generation Y) emerges into adulthood, they do not seem to be quite ready for the real world.
kekadang kalo i sembang dgn hubby....sebut nama kawan2 yg mampu all the way support anak2 skola
semua dapat yg terbaik tu, terbaik nie....i selalu gak kata, BERTUAH nya budak2 tu kann
tapi satu malam nie, bila dinner dgn hubby dia citer....sorang tan sri, big boss kata
anak2 camni takkan belajar erti hidup!....
bila esok2 jadi org besar, berpangkat, berduit....kehidupan dia cuma berkisar pd diri sendiri
dialah paling kaya, paling sukses, paling ..paling...paling dan malangnya takde sesapa pun benefit drp kejayaan dia
ini kalo anak2 yg ambitious laa....
kalo yg pasif, berterusan laa mak/ayag kena isi borang interview....
sangat2 menakutkan.... |
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Reply 130# cn7
kongsi pengalaman org kematian ayah diawal usia 6 thn.....
....dia kata, pengalaman dia ada byk toys mahal2 drp ayah dia
satu pun dia tak ingat....kecuali...kecuali toys tu murah sekalipun
bila ayah dia bermain dgn dia, gelak sama-sama....itulah kenangan abadi dia sampai sekarang
terkedu i dengar pengakuan dia dan i tanya my son....dia kata ye, bukan mahal murah jadi ukuran
masa yg kita luangkan pd anak2 tu....yang dia akan ingat2 sampai bila2....
i duk remind myself, nak hantar aktiviti mudah...bayar dan hantar!
tapi nak create moment that last forever tu yg perlukan byk sgt tenaga dan masa
contoh depan mata, bila i masuk sming class sesama my doter....my eldest mengungkit
kenapa tak masuk kelas masa dia belajar berenang?....sekarang tanpa disuruh berenang
dia yg volunteer join kami bila ada kelas..... |
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Reply 89# gticute
kalu boleh tak nak la macam tu. so start dari awal menabung untuk pelajaran anak. kurang nanti manatahu kot bantuan kerjaan dah takde, anak still boleh belajar kat u. habis u, terpulang la, kita dah bagi sokongan pada dia. mama papa dah bagi the best. dari segi kasih sayang, perhatian,didikan, kewangan, terpulang la apada anak sendiri. kalu tak menjadi jugak, tawakkal pada Tuhan
yes, i setuju dengan statement ni.... masa i kat U dulu, boleh i berkeras nak amik PTPTN, tapi my dad tak kasi. Scholarship pun dia tak bagi apply. He said, he can afford to pay my tuition fees, whatever fees pun. and monthly allowance. i pun tak tau what got into me sampai i nak amik PTPTN tu, maybe sebab i tak nak susahkan my dad kut. But my dad insist saying that "let the scholarship/PTPTN goes to those in need,yang lebih memerlukan, anak penoreh getah ker, nelayan ker.You dah duk kat bandar ni dengan segala facilities ada, tak payahla nak amik PTPTN. You tanggungan ayah, ayah can afford to send all my kids to the university, at my own expenses...
saya yang menurut perintah ayah....  |
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Reply 132# my-alja
terkedu i dengar pengakuan dia dan i tanya my son....dia kata ye, bukan mahal murah jadi ukuran
masa yg kita luangkan pd anak2 tu....yang dia akan ingat2 sampai bila2....
betul, macam my boss ni, i boleh kata walaupun dia lebih dari mampu nak beli barang2 fisher price all range pun, tapi dia choose pendekatan toys yang lebih jimat & menarik. macam rattles yang kita selalu beli untuk anak kita tu kan, dia buat version dia sendiri... isi botol kosong with green beans, plus benda2 lain yang menghasilkan bunyi, and walla....siap 1 rattle...then decor2 sikit... |
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Reply hanna1905
if i tanya my son pulak, his answer would be either "spiderman", Supe ...
cn7 Post at 1-4-2011 09:41
Masalahnya anak i dah primary school....sorang darjah 4, yg sorang darjah 3.....ur son kecik lagi...hehehe..tapi dalam hal ni, i tak slahkan anak i kalau dorang mcm tu...tak tetap pendirian...sama mcm mak dia ni haa...masa sekolah rendah cita-cita nak jadi cikgu lepas tu berubah sbb minat subjek sejarah nak jadi pakar sejarah pulak....tapi skg jadi surirumah sepenuh masa...hahaha.. |
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Reply my-alja
yes...dari situ i sort of mengenali lagi karakter anak i.... sebab bila ...
cn7 Post at 1-4-2011 10:43
beruntung cikgu anak u tu.....ada parent yg prihatin pasal anak...pengalaman i, mostly parents mmg ambil berat pasal anak dorang tapi lebih kepada akademi bukan nak tau weakness & strength anak tu...tak nak accept weaknesses anak dorg...kita ckp bukan sbb nak kondem budak tu, tapi cari penyelesaian mcmana nak overcome the problem...yg parents nak, anak dorang tahu membaca...100% atas usaha cikgu.....Peringkat awal umur mcm ni la yg kita boleh detect apa masalah yg anak hadapi...dan juga cara penyelesaiannya...
err....ni dah out of topic...huhuhu..
p/s :cn7, tanya kat alja tu byk2...dia tu byk ilmu tu...huhuhu |
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Reply 133# cn7
bangga baca kisah2 bapak camni....
tapi ada gak berpendapat, anak2 yg tip-top dlm akedemik bila dpt scholarship
macam pengiktirafan pd kesungguhan dan kelayakkan dia selama ni...
punnnn....i rasa macam btol jugak kan...
tapi kalo dah bapak mampu beli kapal kargo sebijik....apalah sgt nak spend anak2 belajar
baru 1 juta kalo duk 5 thn kat UK + living....immaterial kata org2 accounting |
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Reply 132# my-alja
Ani, betul apa yg u ckpkan tu "nak aktiviti mudah...hantar dan bayar"...i ni tergolong dlm tu jugakk...tak terpk nak create moment dgn dorang nih..hehehe...
Sebenarnya ada...tapi bagi i, yang betul2 menangkap jiwa dan kalbu tu...hahaha....dan byk sebenarnya i janji kat dorang tapi tak terbuat...contohnya..nak buat volcano..tak buat2 lagi... dah lama ni janji...
oh! ya...ada kot memori yg dorang boleh igt....time dorang ada kutu..i spend hours dok carik kutu dorang tu...heehee.. |
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Post time 1-4-2011 09:31 AM
