Life situation

It seems our forum has been lost some last threads. So i start my story here. One guy tried to get me be his lover, he suggested me to sleep with him but i refused. Our tradition doesnt allow to have that before getting married. That is also the reason why i always bring another girlfriend to company anytime i go with him. First everything is ok until one day, i feel that he changed his mind. He talked with my friend whole day even i also was there. He took care of her so carefully and sometimes like i didn exist. I get angry, I was so mad at him. He just ignored me.

I decided to leave him. But everyday work with him, anytime see him and my friend so close, my heart wants to cry. I dont know if my friend knows that or not, but she is really good friend of mine. I dont want to lose her just because a guy.

Sometimes i wonder if love is really good for me? Is that true oneday i will find Mr. Rite, or all just like in the movie.......

I feel life really wants to pull my legs. Most of times other runs to me and then very fast runs away also. For sure, something wrong with me. May be i am not attractive enough or i m not qualified to be a  good lover. Y they always hurt me... .

I think I should leave the dream of possessing a true love.

That s about my love. Now is about my family.

They always push me to get married but it is possible for me, I havent had any candidate. The candidates by my parents dont match me. They are very sad. I dont want to look them sad and try to love some one, but as you see, i am a loser.

I just think all of these matters are simple coz i am human and living in a life circle. Those are matters of life. Once I still exist i need to face. But frankly it is really cruel......

I will try to handle this situation. I used to overcome one time, so no doubt that i can repeat it.....

Pls give me strength........Thank you for listening my story........

[sicness]

May i ask what exactly you need here?If you seek for solution,i might as well come up with some and who knows they might help you a little.But if this is only for reading,then i might as well say something here.



Care for your feelings.Don't let them fool you.

You were right about making the decision about refusing what he had suggested.You said it was because of your tradition,but i might prefer to call it "Our religion".Each religions,depends on what you are following prohibit(not sure if this is the exact word >.<) it's followers from making sins.

About your relation with this guy,stop having these "A stab of jealousy" feeling if both of already broken up.Why should you felt that way?Ask yourself.If you still love him,it's wise for you tell him about it.

Regarding your family matters,try to convince them that you are still looking for the right person for you.Try slowly,they will understand sooner or later.It's just the matter of time.Loser?That's not true.Everyone's a loser,but they overcomed it.Why can't you?




My advice;do not run from problems as they will catch you back later.In fact,try to face it eventhough it's hurt too much for you.I've been on your situation before,and yes i know how you feels.Pray to your God,hope you have the courage and strength to keep on living.

I want to share my story coz I want to reduce my hurt and welcome advices if any. I m really appreciate yours.

I dont know if the true reason he feel sfed up with me is I am moody. May be he feels so boring......  

I think i should control myself better. He is the one makes me laugh, very important coz it is quite difficult for me to laugh truly. Normally, i pretend laugh, and always are laugh maker, seldom got someone makes me laugh, so i do like his humor.  However he is black and got a daughter without marriage which is big problem to get approval from my parents. Somemore, his love for me is still not strong. He asked me if my husband like my bestfriend so wat my decision is. I reply firmly that is no problem. If he loves my best friend, go ahead but inform me, coz i dont want to be a fool. I want everything to be clear, it should be easier to go further step once u know u have nothing if u stick with it. And i feel that he likes my best friend who i always call to accompany me anytime i go out with him. One of the guy told me that may be this just want to use my friend to force me to have next step or show my love. But it doesnt persuade me. I m feeling he is changing his mind. People said feeling of women always rite........

Life is really cruel and unfair. I am searching my lover for years. I dream of him, think of him even i havent known the face. I imagine how i take care of him, my kids, grow them up, work for happy family.... But it has been 10 years already since I became adult, not yet found mr. rite. Sometimes i think that if i get married, the guy may be not the rite one, but just coz he appears rite time.......

Listening the song "If u r not the one" it hurts...... Wish everything will pass quickly... but love hardly disappears....

BingkaUbi

I read your story and feel sympathy.... Express your feeling then you will feel better.

I think, you should control yourself. If you think you love him, then you can fall in love but do not stumble, you have to be consistent but not too persistent and understand what your love and life for.

You know he can make you laugh but don forget he also can make you cry. Only you know the answer, to be with him or to leave him. You have to decide how you want to make your life happy. Define your priorities; realize what you are able to compromise. Follow your instincts. And don抰 forget blessing from your family.

Remember, life is not really cruel and unfair, life is fragile and life is short. Don抰 struggle so much; best things always happen when not expected. Do not take life for granted. Maybe God wants you to meet wrong man before you meet your Mr. Right.

:love:

joe1983

i think that..u make some time..a good time without him..like reading good article or book...try to found solution from there...coz reading to me are good for mental strentgh:nerd:..and that was i always do....:nerd:

Watcher

ermm ... how old are U??

if u just early 20's .. so, it's not a big deal .. it's such a looonngg way more to go ... just be happy of what u have and what u are now .. true loves will come 1 day .. u'll met s/one .. and then u'll know that he is ur Mr.rite .. meanwhile .. be thankful on what u are !!!!

Last nite, I asked him to go out for dinner to say goodbye (he would back Manila today) when just only two of us stayed late at the office but he called my friend to go together. I was angry so I left when he was on the line talking with my friend. He did not even call me back to ask the reason. Just simple smiled and ignored. I was so mad...

So...I talked directly to my friend to clear the problem. I said I liked the guy and I would like to ask if she likes him too,  coz I and her are good friends so I dont want to misunderstand or break the relationship. In case she likes so I will give up, if not I may continue my way. It was very nice talk. I and her shared our secret. She also advised me to be just a friend with him coz she heard that he got many girlfriends.

Now i calm down and slowly spend my life like a tortoise......

Dear watcher, i m nearly 30 already.... but not old enough Thanks ur comments

Dear Joe1983, Thanks for your advices. I also enjoy reading, but that seems not strong enough to handle this problem.  I tried music, when music stops other thinking starts raising........

Now i will share my working story. I m working as secretary for 3 people in a bank. That sometimes is very stress coz too many stuff like printing, request meeting, arrange meetings.... I feel fed up. I got a boss who always blame me and spends time on his personal work.

I want to have other work but salary here is quite fine compare to others in the town.

Headache

yusmar

the more you spend your time alone...your mind will wander and think of many things. My suggestion would be for you to go out with a couple of friends and just relax....fill up your time...start a hobby....have fun. Why waste time thinking about that guy because chances are...he may not be thinking about you.

Your family problem....I sincerely believe your parents want you to be happy and they thought that by choosing a man for you....you will start a family and have a life. Speak to them...thank them for their concern but you are not ready to be married of.

There is someone out there for each and every one of us.....it's not going to come knocking at your door....you want happiness....start within yourself first and then you will see that things will be alright. Take care.

[sicness]

Originally posted by leongbui at 17-5-2006 04:33 PM
Dear watcher, i m nearly 30 already.... but not old enough Thanks ur comments

Going to be 30,but not that old enough.See,like what you had said;means that you're still young.Have some fun,don't let the troubles bother you.

Like what our friend;yusmar said,there's always someone out there that meant for each everyone of us.Be patience,wait.Well not to mention that you need to start some effort as well.

yusmar, i also think that there is someone for me, just because i ve been waiting for a very long time already. I start feeling tired and lonely. And now i m nearly 30, within 5 years i havent kissed and sometimes I want to have kiss but i couldnt. I cant request that from who i dont love or dont love me rite?.....

yusmar

yes you can but then the kiss would not mean anything rite so...go out and have fun. The more ppl u meet the more options u have.

Yes, today I will try my best to finish works so i can go shopping with some Philipino friends. Last nite i got very nice party, but not dancing (I really want to dance).

Do hope time goes by and thing goes better........

The guy will be back this June, I dont know how things move........However enjoy time without him first, then I will consider it........

BingkaUbi

leongbui, you make ur life complicated....agree with yusmar, go out and have fun...

Guys, i fail to get approval to take leave this afternoon. But I will try to have  a nice weekend tomorrow.

If u have happy moments, so kindly share with me if possible.., i just want to convince myself that there are many nice things waiting for me....

To me I havent found any moment

But I will tell u when I have

cokkodok

if u think 'lonely'...u will be lonely. And it will drag you to another  'self-dissastifaction' problem.  

Having a boyfriend wont be a complete solution for your problem. So stop hoping to be a cinderella..

MOVE ON GIRL..HAVE FUN WITH YOUR FRIENDS!IF U DON'T HAVE ANY...FIND THEM!

As for the guy u mentioned earlier, i think he did that because he felt embarassed because maybe all this while he thought that you are a kind of girl that would easily give-up yourself to guys like him and finally he realised that he can't mess with you. My advice is..don't give him a damn, he does'nt worth a penny.

takato

hurm... lonely is subjective i think, i once felt that way and now i find out it was not a problematic anymore... i think for u leongbui u should widen ur social life... not just in workplace, but in the society or event more broader area... yes... to find a suit Mr. Right is quite hard... and who knows by knowning peoples & socialize a bit could helps event more... what u need is improvement in ur life, here we say bout ur happines, not ours... try to pampered urself... forget bout whatever that make ur heart hurts or in 'lonely' situation... maybe today u got 10 frens... who knows tomorow u get 100 more frens... u r not alone u know... just mingles around & maybe suddenly u stumble on ur Mr. Right, all God work... in special kind of way... :love:

for parents... i think all parents are like that, but now days... in term of life-span, the living cost, career building... the life-style have change a lot... to find life for the whole life is not easy matters... just have to take it slow & steady... in the same time can match what we seek... what to do? parent should have given u some space... and the same time u also try to convince them that u'll find ur Mr. Right...

don't burden u mind & heart with all this... maybe u haven't got u true kiss (lover) now... but i'm sure when u got urs, u'll never lets it go... take it easy as wind passes by and let ur social, happines & etc doin their miracle work... okie... just my half-cook opinion... :hatdown:

dwbh163

Originally posted by leongbui at 16-5-2006 09:07 PM
I want to share my story coz I want to reduce my hurt and welcome advices if any. I m really appreciate yours.

I dont know if the true reason he feel sfed up with me is I am moody. May be he fe ...

you're trying too hard to be in love. when your time comes, mr right will come. when your time is not up yet, no matter what you do, he will not stick with you.

perhaps your loneliness is already affecting your thinking and giving you worries. the more you worry, the worse it gets.

go & do whatever you like most.... travel? dining? movies? relaxxxxx

dont worry be happy

I feel i m still lucky when get your advices. I know i m not alone anymore. Thank you.

I will move on....It is time to change my life. I think too much and dont take any action. Everything should change......

I intend to change my work attitude also. I always have trouble with the receptionist and janitor at my work place. In my point of view, i respect their work and support them when neccessary, which is not accepted by most of other here. But it results in problem that they dont want to respect me, they consider my work should cover  their responsibilities sometimes. I can help them when i am free but not when i m so busy with other duties. They dont know where is limitation. They pushed me to collect phone bill from my boss when i stucking with urgent documents. I will take action next time. Just small things also need me to involve. I took leave 2 days already. If i continue taking leave so may be my bosses's phones will be cut coz dont pay the bills. Non professional and coordinated working style. All this stuff give me the idea to be more aggresive to these kind of people. Last time i m expert at any quarrel, but here i just want to be calm, enjoy working and be good accompany with other. May be i m too different. Just only my bosses and one friend here welcome my style. Others try to make use of my nice working way.

Life s not easy, but may be that is also the reason we call it is life.