Why Me??

redsinner

i think that was what i am trying to convey in my previous post...huhu
susah betul nak vent my ideas..hihih  

Mansairaku

funny .....
i really couldnt recall ever asking myself this question ...:re:

*mansairaku goes off to selongkar memories*

dutchy

Originally posted by hamizao at 16-9-2007 03:50 AM
Have you ever been in a situation where you asked, "Why me? Why does it have to happen to me??"
How did you get over it or haven't you?

countless times

when its something that is good...yippieeeeee

when it's something bad...darn why can't it be someone else eh? why must I be the chosen ones??

dutchy

well since you've done it three times...you really are expecting money
to fall from the sky   

Bugger

To answer this,we need to be able evaluate ourselves.Thus,we can learn more and having a clear and reasonable manner in ourselves indeed

[ Last edited by  Bugger at 28-9-2007 02:24 AM ]

LostSoul

mmm i read this somewhere....

"God is cruel. But God's cruelty is refining".

Agul

Originally posted by dutchy at 27-9-2007 11:39 PM
well since you've done it three times...you really are expecting money
to fall from the sky 牋牋

Midas!

Well actually爐hrowing燼爏tone爎epeatedly爐o爐he爏ky燼nd燽eing爃it爎epeatedly燼ll爐he爐ime爈amenting爓hy爉e,爓hy爉e,爄s燼燽ad.

I don't mind being hit by gold though (with sufficient protection for the head)....

Agul

Maybe it's us that's cruel, to ourselves.

hamizao

To me I believe asking, " Why?" reflects a need to understand what is happening -  integral to the way our brain makes sense of the world.

In the first instance, "Why me?" appears like a desparation state needing answers why "I" am choosen for such an unfortunate experience. I had a colleague once whose huddy was keeping a mistress and often times asked me this. I traced a sense of despair.....having done all she could muster...

In life, most of the time one has limited choices and many a time one makes the wrong choice and hence one learns to live with it. One needs to be a bit philosophical to get through trying times .....I may have erred in my choices too but I can vouch that I made them  based on the knowledge I have then. Then the next question is, would I have made the same choices if I had known what I know now? Any taker?

Well, I learned that life is hardly about making the perfect choice but rather about striking a balance when time, exposure, understanding/knowledge and other factors seem to be less than 100%. One takes the good together with the bad. In case of your partner, you try to complement one another rather than be antagonistic ......Didn't they say, unlike poles attract? Sometimes you see the most mismatched couples but they stay togather for a very long time. I bet there is a lot of giving and forgiving ......forgetting?

LostSoul

we humans often have the tendency to put the blame on others... disaster happened, God's fault, accident happened, the other driver's fault... that's why when i came across this phrase by my fave author, i saw some lights shed on the whole fate issue. well, we can say God's cruel for allowing bad incidents happened to us, what we did not see is the reason behind God's cruelty. "Refine" is a word to describe His action... its His way to refine us, to refine the world we're living in.

Mansairaku

Originally posted by hamizao at 29-9-2007 01:26 PM
To me I believe asking, " Why?" reflects a need to understand what is happening -  integral to the way our brain makes sense of the world.

In the first instance, "Why me?" appears like a desparation state needing answers why "I" am choosen for such an unfortunate experience. I had a colleague once whose huddy was keeping a mistress and often times asked me this. I traced a sense of despair.....having done all she could muster...

In life, most of the time one has limited choices and many a time one makes the wrong choice and hence one learns to live with it. One needs to be a bit philosophical to get through trying times .....I may have erred in my choices too but I can vouch that I made them  based on the knowledge I have then. Then the next question is, would I have made the same choices if I had known what I know now? Any taker?

Well, I learned that life is hardly about making the perfect choice but rather about striking a balance when time, exposure, understanding/knowledge and other factors seem to be less than 100%. One takes the good together with the bad. In case of your partner, you try to complement one another rather than be antagonistic ......Didn't they say, unlike poles attract? Sometimes you see the most mismatched couples but they stay togather for a very long time. I bet there is a lot of giving and forgiving ......forgetting?

Hi Hami ...
tiba tiba teringat dengan these:
1.  (read in a manga) - X was sulking but Y did not do anything to soothe him, instead Y said:
" ...that's why I said you're a kid, coz only kids would be pre-occupied with such trivial things, adults would look at the bigger picture and wouldnt be bothered with petty arguments.  You'll only become an adult when you have realized that all these are nothing compared to whether you'll be with the person or not in the end .."

2.  "in every woman, there will always be a small part of her that stays as a little girl ..no matter what age she is in"

3.  "some people are trapped in an adult's body, they may give an impression that they have matured from their speech and seemingly logical thinking, but when it comes to emotional reasoning - they're a wreck .."
--
An almost similar case:  my ex-housemate's uncle was having affairs and his wife knew about them.  However, her reactions were different .. after a few years of "makan hati", she chose to regard her husband as non-existent.  In short, "hatinya telah mati?"

Therefore, if by asking "why", we are actually reflecting a need to understand what is happening ..
the "what do i do" that comes next (irrelevant to whether the "why" has been answered and understood?)..depends much on "emotional maturity"?  Thus, may we say ..that only those blessed with emotional maturity will be able to choose "forgive and forget" option for the sake of a larger picture? (staying together)

But what exactly is "emotional maturity"?
Is it when a person is willing to forgive and forget everything?  (is this even possible?) or an understanding/accepting of what has happened and the willingness to close an eye? or is it the capability of forgiving itself? ..  somehow, these options seem lacking something ..:re:

and how to measure "emotional maturity" in men?  we've seen men in their 40s nowadays acting like muda-mudi (life starts at 40 eh?) and I've personally seen men squabbling and holding grudges like kindergarden kids when crossed, and these men have positions (supposed to be matured?) [ no offense guys, just a contoh ]

Hence, can we possibly conclude that "being an adult does not necessarily mean being matured"?
and "emotional maturity is only exclusive to some"?
and even though the same "why" is being uttered, the motives are perhaps entirely different?

...sorry Hami ...merepek pagi pagi buta ni

mansairaku:
... an adult, but havent fully matured yet ...??





[ Last edited by  Mansairaku at 8-10-2007 11:19 PM ]

Mansairaku

.....maner gi my post?  :re:

Agul

test

ok mansaira, sy dh repair...
---------------------

Sesiapa yang ada problem berkaitan thread爏ama燼da爌ost爃ilang爇e boleh p.m. mana2 mod...

Kami akan cuba setakat yang termampu.

[ Last edited by  Agul at 8-10-2007 10:09 PM ]

Mansairaku

Thanks Mod!

mansairaku:
seems like both mod Seri and mod Agul are thinking on the same line ..:re:
*cough* err..it's a full name = mansairaku *cough* cough*
(mansairaku = a villain in anime)

ajinomotonosuga

it is easy to hate but hard to love because hatred is creation, u being creative as human being

love is not a creation, it is purely living as it is..of which to most of us, prettey mundane boring gitu

so we 'create love' so i love you..bila u blah i love another hihihihihi

hamizao

By Mansairaku:

Therefore, if by asking "why", we are actually reflecting a need to understand what is happening ..
the "what do i do" that comes next (irrelevant to whether the "why" has been answered and understood?)..depends much on "emotional maturity"?  Thus, may we say ..that only those blessed with emotional maturity will be able to choose "forgive and forget" option for the sake of a larger picture? (staying together)

Precisely, my friend! One may choose to wallow in self pity, or take stock of things and derive an action plan. Personally, once I understand, forgiving becomes a non-issue. Perpetrators hardly ask for forgiveness anyway. They usually want to be understood.

Now, forgetting.........that's a lot tougher. It's the way the mind works, I guess. Personally, I find the flash backs quite interruptive and oftain results in mood swings. Perhaps that is why some people just let their "hati mati"................just numb up their feelings!  I find time a good agent to help in the healing process . It is even better if there is transparency.....no more lies. Only thing is............................... liers don't change. That's the hard bit. Just saw something on telly just now about the most painful of lies are made by those closest to you......................how true!

and how to measure "emotional maturity" in men?  we've seen men in their 40s nowadays acting like muda-mudi (life starts at 40 eh?) and I've personally seen men squabbling and holding grudges like kindergarden kids when crossed, and these men have positions (supposed to be matured?)

I call that being in a defensive mode. Why? Typically lah when their safety zone is being breached. Identity crisis nih. Low self-esteem! I think if they get to where they are now through own hard work , say, they may be less affected by trivial things. Only the real tough ones can take punches as much as they give.



[ Last edited by  hamizao at 10-10-2007 12:02 AM ]

ajinomotonosuga

never stop or u will be dropped
ride this wind , abandon what has been
i heard u whisper a quest, while ur eyes shut to what abreast
a bird in the nest is not the one that fly the best

u ask why but u knew spirit never dies
u ask why while u noticed time flies
u ask why but dare not look up to the sky
u ask why and again being smothered in ur face with chicken pie

never stop and be like a crop
what is in the soil that is what u will toil
unwind the serpent and always be a servant
time is unforgiven for those who never knows repentance

one day, slave and master will embrace each other in heaven

cokkodok

aku pun pernah tanya soalan ni pada diri aku sendiri bila time-time aku rasa sesuatu hal yang sangat-sangat menyakitkan/menyedihkan berlaku pada diri aku. Akibat dari itu, aku jadi terlampau kesiankan diri aku dan ayat-ayat "kenapalah orang buat aku cam gini cam gitu..aku ni memang bodohla bla..bla..bla..".

and suddenly aku realize yang makin aku kesiankan diri aku, makin lumpuh pulak diri aku ni aku rasa.  then i said to myself...mesti ada sesuatu yang boleh aku jadikan pengajaran dari peristiwa ni. kalau aku tak lalui nya sendiri then semua nya 'hanya teori2 belaka, bukan hands-over' (pinjam ayat bos aku)

seribulan

repair work

ajinomotonosuga

you propose and God dispose
you shouted loud in silence and listen to your echoes
you never ask but always obliged to any task
from sunrise the play is on till u retire when dusk

motivation is complication
for whom always ignore what is consistent
everything else  is an illusion and delusion
only one thing count and that is an action

experience is the best teacher
enter the mirage and you enter the mirror
human is not borned for only half a measure
mind is your weapon and mysteries are your treasure