Did I have an affair?

LostSoul

can, but it will be shortlived and overworked that spouse. both have to work towards same goal.. if cannot then, even after trying many times, maybe its better to go separate ways..

history will always be there.. you cannot erase what happened between you, but you gotta look forward then..

dianthe

just look back the words u used in my thread, as a newbie, u seem so 'galak'

idhamriza

Oh, ok. Many thanks.

LostSoul

no prob least i can do. n i got my own fortress to take care of.. heh heh

amazed

Originally posted by idhamriza at 22-1-2008 06:49 PM
Thanks. I think both of us really need to start over, start like there has been no past hurt. Hold on to nothing. She can hold on to nothing but can a marriage be saved by one spouse?

I think not. I think you should leave your wife and start your life all over again. You are not going to be happy in your marriage and neither will your wife. Your wife won't forget what happened and you going to keep remember all the things she did such as she fantasized other men just to get off.

Get on with your life.  Be happy for you.  I bet you are not going to be happy with her. It is not about who is to blame who is right who is wrong.  It is about happiness in life.  And you are not going to be happy in your life day in and out, no use to stay in that kind of marriage.

arasham

pada pemahaman aku mamat ni tak plak kata dia
tak happy ngan wife dia yang ko ni nak suh dia
tinggalkan wife apahal  aku setuju macam gegerl kata
crush aje tu u'll get over it

amazed

dah dia dok kata dia teringat2 wife dia pun sama dok tipu...   aku bet memang dia tak happy dengan marriage dia..   aku suggest dia tinggalkan wife dia  biar wife dia cari happiness lain dan dia cari happiness lain.

dianthe

aku setuju, tinggalkan aje wife dia tu

sarahmirza

Macam teringat je dulu Idhamriza ni cerita gaji dia 7k++, wife housewife ada anak 3orang. Macam bahagia je dia describe cara dia dan keluarga berbelanja. Housewife ada affair juga ke? Mmmmmmm

dianthe

gaji 7K pun ada hati nak syok sama pompuan lain?
anak 3 plak tu   cian budak2..
mana cukup wei

rockabebe

Originally posted by idhamriza at 22-1-2008 10:32 AM
You抮e right, unresolved issues.  Both of us need to get to the real reason why things are not good between us. I am trying to fix it. My wife however won抰. I am in love , yes, but i don't think ...

Hi idham,

It is easy to fall into trap of "being in love" with someone whilst you have only spend about a weekend with them and communicating through emails in between. That is not love, that is infatuation - an object of extravagant short-lived passion . What you are doing now is feeding on this feeling in yourself due to your current problems with your wife. YOu cannot compare the time you had with this girl with 12 years with your wife. What you both experienced was the best bit of a relationship - no commitments like kids around, financial obligations, personal problems, all the things that you will experience later once you are in a full blown relationship or a marriage.

My advice is to try very hard to block this unhealthy feeling. Channel your energy and your feelings to making things better with your wife. Be patient with her and communicate with her. I think only you and wife know what is wrong with your relationship. Outsiders like us can only guess. Ask her what makes her think that you are not the man like she imagined - be prepared to make changes. Maybe whisk her on a romantic holiday to recapture the romance and the passion. Leave the kids with your parents for a weekend or two. Exhaust all entities and avenues before giving up. It is much easier to work on a bad relationship then to start a new one, trust me Good luck idham, and may Allah bless you and your family..

Nisda_

tiap kali baca problem family kat FD ni, lebih kurang sama aje...
kalau tak suami buat hal, bini buat hal..
nafsu..nafsu..

faraway

always the same stories
bla bla bla.. nasib baik masa tenguk tom cruise seksi yang buat dada
berdengup kencang tak minta cerai ngan laki me
masa tu jugak.. nasib baik masa kena ngurat
ngan omputih yang sanggup berlari nak tanya nama kita..
me tak da pulak over nak tau nama dia...

senang cakap, kalau dah jadi laki orang, bapak orang.. buatlah
perangai macam laki org, bapak org...

dianthe

dah namanya pun FD

fatinz

Originally posted by dianthe at 22-1-2008 05:43 PM
macam masalah org bodoh

xbaik cakap mcm tu..kadang2 nampak mcm remeh tapi berat nak tanggung sebenarnya
setiap org diberikan ujian yg berbeza2 oleh Allah

dianthe

aku memulangkan paku buah keras, dia cakap macam tu kat thread aku

mimzzzy

itu ala ala bosan jer tu.. dah 12 tahun together, 3 kids, busy memanjang with kids, mana ada masa laki bini. Probly just need to polish your realationship with the missus. Gi holiday together berdua jer or anything that you both wod like.

fatinz

hehehe...sori2
patutla..aku br je bace thread ko..

mbhcsf

firstly , i congratulate you for being truly honest  and i think as a lady i would honour  that and the attitude of confronting with the problem should be appraised as being very mature and adult- like lah.

I could sense there must be lacking of "something" in ur marriage.FIND IT , DEAL WITH IT and LEAVE TO GOD.
I would definitely that  pinpoint that  those "Unresolved" issues are the one to cause you somehow to be in this state of "learned helplesness, tak?" and the way to cope withose unresolved issues would be

a) to "deny" that it exists  ( in which de"nial"- nile-  is in Eagypt")
b) to seek for an escapism - and voila the gal comes into your sight, what a perfect timing
she gave you attention, she listen and etc...awat nyer tak?let us put it on the "chemistry dept"

would u wonder, that your wife would probably wanted the same quality, maybe of a man that N is seeing you or the quality that you have demonstrated while you were with this lass?
Probably may be these qualities that  she might have seen  in theother man?
i dunno.EXPLORE, go and discuss.

then again - as adults communication is important - seeking help from a counsellor would be of another mean to patch things up

lagi satu - i  am so worry about the chldren - those cute lovely beings gosh...pity them..they are the victims of two selfish adults.

you know- have you been asking urself - am i  too self - centred in dealing with this issue? if so what and why? if not and i am so deserve to be heard too/ to experience love again? well then asked urself why?

ur children ok?

how would they respond to your marital discord ni?


again good luck.

adios.

i belajaq sesuatu pada thread ni :


takut  nyer marriage ni, takut nyer dapat husband macam ni? citing you as an example.
So it is true what my friend's mom would say , " Do not trust a man eventhough he sleeps with you"

but alas, that is her mother's saying .


Bless you.


Solat lah , sembahyang istiqharah - BAck to basics, solat lah tahajjud ker aper ker. asking for anything really.

[ Last edited by  mbhcsf at 23-1-2008 02:16 AM ]

supermod

oklah tu.. berani buat, berani ngaku...