Apa nasib anak anak kalau parents tak MATURED ?

DUDAensem

Expectation kita pada anak anak selalu tinggi. Expectation anak anak pada kita mcm mana agaknya? What will happen kalau parents dua dua tak matured ? Ada tak kemungkinan anak anak tu jadik tak matured jugak and lebih rotten drp parents diorang?? Kalau berlaku, siapa yg patut disalahkan?

nafham

mereka dan keluarga mereka...huhuhu~

gutes_madchen

usually anak2 dgn sendiri jd more matured n independent from parents yg bmasalah sampah masyarakat

disclaimer

siapa yg salah?? mereka dan keluargaaaaaaaaaaa merekaaa

monreyes

Anak2 umpama kain putih...
Parents yang mencorakkan..
Dia akan copy apa yg kita buat...

mclaren

i think, rantaiannya tak lah directly affected kot?


my mother is a very matured person, in terms of her thinking, i have always think very highly of her, bukan hanya kerana she's my mother, tapi most of all sebab her wisdom.

malangnya, anak dia (that's ME) memang tak matured, now ni je baru mula nak matang sikit, sejak dah ada anak ni. kalau ikut umur, my mom dari remaja lg dah berfikiran matang, bukan keanak2an like me.

since both me & hubby macam immature sikit, memang a bit risau dulu. however, we want the best for our children. when it comes to our child, we educate ourselves, make wise decisions for the best of them.
so, berubah lah ke arah positive.

my-alja

mai i list down ciri2 org matured....utk muhassabah diri sendiri

anak2 nie cermin pd perilaku mak/ayah...selalunya kalo kawan2 i yg dah tua nie adalah masalah, selalunya i boleh nampak ciri tu drp kedua mak/ayah....

The Mature PersonalityStarks defines psychological maturity as "being able to accept the reality of people and things as they are, without needing them to be other than that." No less an authority than Ann Landers views maturity in a similar way in a paraphrase of a Native American adage: "The art of living in peace with that which we cannot change, the courage to change that which should be changed, no matter what it takes, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Along with this realistic attitude toward life, mature people also possess these healthy character traits:

• Ability to know what you want and the capacity to make it happen
• Self-control and thinking before you act
• Self-reliance and the ability to take responsibility for your life and actions
• Patience
• The ability to sustain intimate relationships and establish positive connections with others
• Generosity and the desire to give and be there for others
• Integrity
• A sense of balance and equanimity in dealing with stress
• Perseverance
• Decisiveness
• Humility and the ability to admit when you're wrong

Maturity Begins at HomeIf many of us fall short of these noble attributes, it is because we grew up in less than ideal circumstances. No one is born mature; our emotional development is shaped by our parents and life experiences. Mature parents who recognize, validate and love their child for who he or she is and are fulfilled in their own lives rear mature children. "I think parents who have been able to find and realize their own dreams are the best parents of all, as long as their dream includes understanding and loving their own children," says Stark.
A child who successfully struggles with failures, disappointments and heartaches will develop greater maturity than one who is pampered and indulged. Throughout childhood, there are development tasks to be mastered, like making friends and developing autonomy. By completing most tasks without undue stress, conflict or difficulty, a child can develop into a mature adult.
A high IQ (intelligence quotient), good looks and robust health, while attractive innate qualities, don't contribute to emotional maturity. There are many people born with fewer advantages who develop into mature, well-adjusted adults. Emotional maturity is, however, closely related to the popular concept of emotional intelligence, in which people are adept at handling their own and others' feelings.

my-alja

A child who successfully struggles with failures, disappointments and heartaches will develop greater maturity than one who is pampered and indulged. Throughout childhood, there are development tasks to be mastered, like making friends and developing autonomy. By completing most tasks without undue stress, conflict or difficulty, a child can develop into a mature adult.

frankly...nie masalah mak/ayah sekarang yg duk persekitaran yg dia MAMPU..sampaikan anak2 kita tak belajar utk bertanggungjawab sedari kecik, semuanya kita hadapkan pd mereka atas alasan kasih sayang...alasan kita berkemampuan...

my-alja

persekitaran juga memainkan peranan....

org2 dulu, umur 13-14 thn jaga adik berderet-deret....kemahiran kehidupan mereka berbeza dgn anak2 sekarang....anak2 kita umut 13-14 masih asyik dgn PS2.... , my anak2 buah laa nie

tapi i ada kawan yg hidupnya dikelilingi oleh MAID...tapi she's very matured person ...cemana tu?..

my-alja

cuba bagi contoh sket....kelakuan2 parents yg tak matured

teacher_shakira

anak ibarat kain putih..mak ayah yang akan mencorakkan mereka samada yahudi majusi atau nasrani. tepuk dada tanya selera. aku setuju sangat sebab
semuanye bermula di rumah...

mama_dinie

baru bape minggu lepas aku tgk program Dr. Phill psal kes mcm ni.
ade cite pasal budak laki umo 18 tahun dh jdk ayah, tp tk reti spend duit utk famili.
mak pun mude lg, br umo 16 tahun, paham2 jerlh org putih..umo mcm tu tgh enjoy sakan
tp si maknya dh sedar t/jwb sbg ibu, cuma ayahnya masih di awang-awangan
sekali kite dh ambik keputusan, kite mesti b/tanggungjwb..klu tk kite telah merosakkan amanah yg diberikan.
respect gak kat budak tu, w/pun tk bape matured but still bg kerjasama utk selesaikn mslh family..

paulinevoon

Originally posted by DUDAensem at 23-1-2008 01:59 AM
Expectation kita pada anak anak selalu tinggi. Expectation anak anak pada kita mcm mana agaknya? What will happen kalau parents dua dua tak matured ? Ada tak kemungkinan anak anak tu jadik tak ma ...

depends on cara pemikiran anak itu.. if he is naturally born as a good thinker, a good person, walaupun ibu bapa tak matured, budak itu akan belajar dari different source.. keadaan sekeliling.. ppl around him, books, nature, etc..... so.. nak salahkan siapa kalau budak tu jadi lagi rotten dari parents? salahkan the ability of his own thinking, attitude, etc....

parents hanya membantu at an early stage.. so does teachers.. it's us.. kita sendiri kena shape our own self..

my-alja

Originally posted by paulinevoon at 23-1-2008 03:45 PM

parents hanya membantu at an early stage.. so does teachers.. it's us.. kita sendiri kena shape our own self..
...

i rasa blue print anak2 sampai umur 12 thn tu sgt penting....byk sgt  mengikut acuan mak/ayah..begitu jugak persekitaran yg dia duduk

tapi yg lebih penting cam polin katalah...bila dah MAMPU fikir sendiri tapi takde kesedaran nak berubah, totally a different issue kannn ...

kalo utk org islam, kita sebut "muhassabah"....self-talk nie penting utk kesedaran kita memasing dan feedback drp org2 keliling kita esp our spouse

gilakentang

in my opinion, kalau parents tak matured, tak semestinya anak tu nanti tak matured cuma hilang siket rasa respect kat parents n ader rasa sikit insecure

arasham

baca cite fruit and nut case by jean ure

DUDAensem

Originally posted by my-alja at 23-1-2008 12:00 PM
cuba bagi contoh sket....kelakuan2 parents yg tak matured

Contoh tak matured tu mcm
1.  bila org nasihat dia benda yg baik, dia ingat org kondem dia
2.  bila ada problem and kekelirun lebih prefer tuduh menuduh daripada buat homework cari kebenaran
3.  lebih suka cai salah silap orang daripada menyeleskan masalah
4.  kaki gaduh
5.  perasan diri dia aje yg the best, orang lain semua rendah drp dia


lebih kurang mcm tu lah chek  urghhh hang faham kan !

DUDAensem

Originally posted by gilakentang at 23-1-2008 09:05 PM
in my opinion, kalau parents tak matured, tak semestinya anak tu nanti tak matured cuma hilang siket rasa respect kat parents n ader rasa sikit insecure

abang duda setuju dgn pendapat hang. Mmg ada parents yg tak matured later dpt anak anak yg sangat matured. Seronok tgk anak anak matured depa cuba tukaq attitude & behavior parents. Tapi persoalannya parents yg tak matured ni bukan nampak diri depa tak matured, belakang depa kata anak anak yg matured drp depa ni as anak derhaka or anak kurang ajaq, tak reti hormat org tua punya pendapat. abang duda pernah tgk incident ni, sunguh sedih chek !

DUDAensem

Originally posted by mama_dinie at 23-1-2008 03:17 PM
baru bape minggu lepas aku tgk program Dr. Phill psal kes mcm ni.
ade cite pasal budak laki umo 18 tahun dh jdk ayah, tp tk reti spend duit utk famili.
mak pun mude lg, br umo 16 tahun, paham2  ...

Sikap tak matured pd parents byk boleh dtg musibah utk anak anak. Cuba bayangkan kalau si ibu sibuk dengan handbag LV tp bab educational plan anak dia tak pernah peduli. Ayah pulak sibuk dengan title dia kat tempat kerja tp anak anak terbiar tak ada bimbingan, tak ada good food etc etc paling wasteful kalau parents sibuk dgn teknik kat atas katil depa tp teknik didik anak depa tak dak good perancangan, tak tau nak khabaq apa dah !

DUDAensem

Originally posted by mclaren at 23-1-2008 10:12 AM
i think, rantaiannya tak lah directly affected kot?


my mother is a very matured person, in terms of her thinking, i have always think very highly of her, bukan hanya kerana she's my mother, ...

hang deserved dapat pujian pasai hang sanggup belajaq & learn to slowly change your attiude & behavior. Mcm ni drp immature hanga kan mudah jadik matured.Proses hang berubah ni pun sebahagian drp kematangan diri utk tambah baikkan pemikiran & pribadi, abang duda angkat topi kat hang.

Good move !