PUSH....sampai mana?

my-alja

salam

rerasanya me dah pernah tanya soalan nie dulukala, tapi tak tahu tajuk apa...tak dapat nak carik thread plak...

setiapkali me terfikir isu nie, mesti nak tanya pendapat mak2 kat sini....me byk gak baca pasal org2 yg 2pelik" kat dunia nie, satu yg me perasan...persamaan yg ada pd mereka" they like to push themselves" ....jika tgk sejarah tigerwood, mak dia push dia masa dia kecik sampai boleh jadi jaguh dunia!

jadi persoalan me kat sini, sebagai mak/ayah....kalo kita tak push anak, hasilnya mungkin setakat gitu2....tapi kalo kita push, setakat mana yg boleh kita push...cemana kita nak tahu yg kita push dia positively dan tidak memudaratkan mereka....cemana nak tahu ye?

ada satu article me baca, dlm kita dok self-improving ourselves, ada satu had yg kita kena berhenti dan cakap....that's enuf!!

my-alja

cepatttt.....heheheheh...mana mak2 yg ambitious dlm nie...

me nak tahu gak, pernah tak mak2 nie fikir, apa yg me fikir....ke me aje yg suka fikir benda camni

kawahapi

my-alja
kalau boleh mmg nak push sejauh mungkin la utk anak dara ku itu

tu yg ku dah setat ngan phonic tuh
ekekekekeke
(do u remember my pm?)

tp this will depend pd minat dia gak
i will guide la
tp x kan memaksa dia memilih pilihanku

my-alja

masih ingat...masa kan sudah lupa dong!

apa guideline yg gunapakai utk push ur girl nanti?....ada satu yg me dah sentuh dlm thread terdahulu pasal self-esteem enhancer pd anak2...

me dok fikir, mungkin nie salah satu cara kita boleh kenalpasti samada kita patut teruskan atau tidak...

tina_turner

cian, meh cek jawab kan...

4 me push anak2 dlm apa keadaan sekali pun memang bagus tetapi mustilah dgn cara
yg betul dan sihat... push anak2 dgn penuh kasih sayang dan kelembutan, bukan dgn
kekerasan atau masa kita dlm keadaan tertekan dan marah...

the best time 2 push anak2 , bila kita dan anak2 dlm keadaan happy, relex tanpa apa2
tekanan atau tengah marah...  kerana didikan ibu bapa lah penentu kejayaan anak...

marissa_raif

I will push them as long as its not out of their capability厀e as a mother need to understand and monitor what is their interest as well...baru lah kiter boleh nak push diorang....cth mcm mak tigerwood, dia tau anak dia minat golf so dia pun push lah utk jg juara dlm sukan golf...kalu dia nampak anak dia minat main bola sepak tp dok push main golf mesti tak sesuai kan...

sambil2 dok push tu...bg lah kata2 perangsang skit, puji2 ker biar dia lg bersungguh2 , jgn dok buat separuh jalan...

apa2 pun push anak2 itew penting...lg satu nak tanya PUSH and FORCE yg mana satu sesuai di praktik kan...


Anak yg berjaya lahir dr keluarga yg harmoni

[ Last edited by  marissa_raif at 4-9-2007 05:47 PM ]

my-alja

Originally posted by marissa_raif at 4-9-2007 05:45 PM
I will push them as long as its not out of their capability厀e as a mother need to understand and monitor what is their interest as well...baru lah kiter boleh nak push diorang....cth mcm mak tig ...

cemana nak tahu apa itu mereka punya capability kalo kita tak PUSH?...

CONTOHkan...my son tak suka taekwando, tapi dapat report yg baik drp cikgu...me sendiri "perasan" he is gud tapi dia tak suka....katalah i boleh lihat the capability dlm sukan nie tapi dia nak suka2 saja...(ini yg berlaku pd tigerwood), jadi sebagai mak...apa petunjuk yg dia kena teruskan...

kalo ikut me, tentulah berbalik pd kesukaan dia kan...btol tak

macademia

Good topic!

i admit i push my children..... and of course i selalu pikir yr questions tu. but i try to do it in a positive way. And as a mother, I must also know that my children are not born a genius. So I mesti expect limitations. Must tau bila to stop pushing.

The only way that i buat is to make learning fun for them. So in the end, less pushing from me, bec they would blajar and learn on their own initiative. Infact bila mereka enjoy blajar, what they learn in class pun terus masuk kepala, which would later mean less studying needed bec mereka dah paham. Furthermore, once they enjoy learning, studying would not longer be a chore. It would be as fun as main games.

Eg. last Sunday, I asked my std 5 girl to do revision for 1 chapter in science. Bila after panggil2, dia buat tak tau, padahal dah 2 -3 jam i panggil, i perhatikan dia. i tengok mood dia lain macam. I panggil dia, sit next to me, have girl talk for a while.... then i said.... minggu ni you do what u want.

So mac tak rigid bab2 begini. I follow their moods and feelings.

Anotehr eg what happened last night. I was watching tv.... my 8 yr old girl called me suruh teman dia nak blajar..... i said, tunggula, mama nak tgk tv, ajaklah kakak teman buat homewrk. (kakak pulak ngelat sbb mak ngadap tv) Dia pujuk i lagi.... last2 i mengalah.. Bila masuk bilik, i thought dia nak buat homework, tapi rupanya homework dah habis.

So i said.... la.... kenapa beriya2 sgt tak boleh tunggu mama habis tgk tv? She said.... mama ni.... kita nak belajar la..... tak tau ke?

And she went to a corner, and read her science book.

macademia

Originally posted by my-alja at 4-9-2007 06:01 PM


cemana nak tahu apa itu mereka punya capability kalo kita tak PUSH?...

CONTOHkan...my son tak suka taekwando, tapi dapat report yg baik drp cikgu...me sendiri "perasan" he is gud tapi dia  ...

yup.... bila bab2 macam ni, i would always tell them. I am your mother, dah lama makan garam. I was at your place before so i know what you r feeling, what you are thinking. I want you to explore first before you say NO. Nanti menyesal..... nanti you hanya akan terpikir the "what ifs"..... So dengar cakap mama....

Eg, my no 1 nak stop her piano. I said.... sayang nak stop, you have played for more than a yr.... bila dia tetap nak stop, i said, ok macam ni la..... try for another 3 months.... if you still want to stop, its upto you.... but try another 3 months.

After 3 months, she quit.

My no2 pun nak stop main piano after 2 yrs of playing. I did the same agreement with her. 3 months. And she's still playing now. Infact, smalam baru pass a higher grade smalam.... with distinction somemore.


Budak2 very fickle minded, sekejap nak tu, sekejap nak ni.... tugas kita as a parent la try to show them the path..... tapi while doing that, kita kena juga compromise with her wants....

Come to think of it my son dok kata taknak blaja swim lagi.... I said NO..... finish up the course. Sebab swimming penting sangat...... lagipun kalau tak tau swimming, kalau pegi holiday pun tak guna sbb tak dapat main kat pool..... duduk ajela awak kat baby pool.....

my-alja

alahai...sayangnyer dia berhenti piano ...dia memang tak suka dr awal atau dah ade minat baru yg lagi mencabar?...

sebagai mak, u rasa kecewa tak?.....cemana  nak sedapkan hati kita yg anak kita dah boleh memilih ...errkk

macademia

Originally posted by my-alja at 4-9-2007 06:23 PM
alahai...sayangnyer dia berhenti piano ...dia memang tak suka dr awal atau dah ade minat baru yg lagi mencabar?...

sebagai mak, u rasa kecewa tak?.....cemana  nak sedapkan hati kita yg anak  ...

mula2 start main piano, dia mmg berkobar2..... i guess minat tu dah gone kut.... mula2 mmgla frust.... the day the 3 months was up tu, i asked her, siap cepat, mama nak hantar (to piano class) in 20 mins time. She started crying again, kata taknak.... lagipun almost 3 months dah.... so... i tanya dia betul2, are you sure, tak menyesal? She said tak.... so i called up her teacher, cakap yg she's stopping her classes, tapi adiknya yg akan take her place..... hehe

adiknya yg dari dulu dok nak blajar (but i said not yet... ) punyalah melompat happy.

Alhamdullillah adik dia decided to sambung walaupun dulu ada sebut nak stop.... last night she was so happy with her piano exam results..... dia dok main piano kat rumah sampai 10 pm.... hehe.... she plays beautifully now.... very soothing to the ears.....   sigh..... lembut ajer jejari dia menari2 atas piano key tu... last year still keras lagi.....

ninoZ

'push' anak2 is gud..tp dlm masa yg sama kita kene ajo gak camne nak menangani kegagalan.. yg lebih penting mak bapak kene belajo dulu camne nak menangani kegagalan [actually its not really gagal..tapi kurang berjaya/berkesan]

kalau me lah..
nak push anak ni kiasannyer  mcm memancing lah..
adakala  kene sentap cepat2..adakala kene main2 dulu baru tarik..

frankly..its not easy lah nak push anak nih..bila dia start reasoning 'intelectually'..jenuh nak cari modal utk counter balik
yg penting..tak leh putus asa

push sampai mana?
sejauh yg mampu utk masa tu..pastu amik resting period jap.. pastu cuba balik
agak2 resting period sampai 14 kali tapi takde kemajuan...errrr elok kot tukar strategi

baju_merun

my MAMA mmg seorang PUSHER !!!

aku ni ikutkan takde laa tergolong dalam cerdik pandai sangat.. cukup2 makan gitu je.
tapi sbb dapat mak yg jenis push anak2.. UPSR & PMR straight 'A's
then form 4, my mum push lak masuk MRSM wpun aku takmo pi tapi dia paksa
hasilnya.... KAT SANA TAKDE SAPA NAK PUSH AKU :pompom:   
hasilnya.... SPM dapat 4A je.. yg lain sumer 'C'angkul

Takat mana dia leh PUSH ? :kant:

utk aku.. dia dah push aku smpi aku ada ijazah.. then dia push utk Master bermula tahun 2003 smpi laa skang masih tidak berputus asa lagi

utk adik aku.. dia hanya larat push smpi diploma je sbb adik aku ni gatal sangat nak kahwin sanggup menangis 5 hari 5 malam takmo sambung ijazah

utk adik bongsu aku.. dia pun sampai ijazah, skang ni mak aku berjaya PUSH dia untuk sambung belajar lagi :pompom:

AmMiNafeesa

seronok nyer baca pengalaman dan buah fikiran you all.. terutama my_alja & mac... Mi sendiri pun masih tercarik carik cara yang macam mana untuk didik anak dengan betul..pendekatan apa yang harus diguna..thank' s a lot...macam Mi sekarang...sebab dulu terlalu minat pada dunia angkasa...sekarang tengah terapkan minat pada my Feesa yang baru 3 thn. Mi tengah cari bahan bahan bacaan yang berkaitan bulan , bintang & angkasa.. harap cara ni berkesan untuk timbulkan interest pada dia.

cik_dee_na

well

my parents i admit bukan people yg push sesangat
tapi agaknya cik dee kot yg kiasu
me push myself
kekadang it comes from oneself i think
sebabnya cam cik dee i have to mengaku i like the attention to become number one, to be the best, kena puji2 selalu ngan cikgu, pehtu balik bangga pulak ngan parents, citer ngan aunties/uncles sumer sampaikan dijadikan benchmark oleh sumer cousins!
my friends yg i choose sumer budak pandai
tak kawan ngan budak tak pandai - i admit
tak kawan tapi tak la pulak musuh
sebab kekadang budak tak pandai ni terer in sports
and because bebudak ni gak la cik dee berkiasu to excel in sports
tapi takat sekolah rendah jek la

upsr/srp ok - dpt offer masuk all girls boarding school
spm - lagi ok - teruih dpt scholarship

at the same time i play the piano
kalo push agaknya dah main ngan orchestra memana
tapi tak minat
belajar sampai abih grade alhamdulillah
kalo tak de kerja dah i can still teach piano
(sape nak cikgu garang macam saya ni )

so i still belive mesti ada avenue nak push, and sambil push tu tengok la how the children take it
kalo takde minat tapi still menunjukkan prestasi yg bagus, mebbe boleh cuba cara lain to show that they are good and if they push a bit they will excel
and also atas budak tu jugak
kalo penerimaan dia baik, berbaloi gak nak push

gorgonz

la.... ingatkan push nak bersalin.....

tak bleh nak reply properly lagi...
time out daaa ni....

melati-putih

aku rasa aku ni tipikal parent la...
ikut kehendak anak.....
tapi nak ckp lebih pun anak ku baru tiga tahun pun...
a looonggg way to go pasal pushing memushing nieh....

baju_merun

Originally posted by melati-putih at 5-9-2007 12:33 PM
aku rasa aku ni tipikal parent la...
ikut kehendak anak.....
tapi nak ckp lebih pun anak ku baru tiga tahun pun...
a looonggg way to go pasal pushing memushing nieh....

aku pun sama.. tapi aku dah planning gak sket2 apa nak push dia

1- umur 4 tahun mesti masuk kelas PASTI belajor mengaji muqaddam
2- mesti masuk swimming class
3- aku suka anak aku main piano.. tapi kat sini takde piano class . tgk laa.. mana tau kena pindah putrajaya 2010
4- push dia jangan g PLKN.. aku tak suka

my-alja

hehehehe....push nak beranak, wa takde pengalaman nak dikongsi...

my-alja

Originally posted by baju_merun at 5-9-2007 09:34 AM
my MAMA mmg seorang PUSHER !!!

aku ni ikutkan takde laa tergolong dalam cerdik pandai sangat.. cukup2 makan gitu je.
tapi sbb dapat mak yg jenis push anak2.. UPSR & PMR straight 'A's
the ...

i like ur story merun ...utg u dapat mak pushy

bila dah besar baru kita sedarkan....tapi kena ada guideline, itu aje

taknak jadi cam safiah...nanti mak/ayah gak yg salah