Teenager Sexual Desire - Stories and problem of my own brother

mfharun

Salam guys...

The situation...

1. Tengah keje, dapat call from my mum.
2. Mum told me that, dekan fakulti called, saying that u're son was found guilty on several sexual harassment attacks.
3. Mangsanye adelah..... CLEANER fakulti, malaysian, malay.... Bini orang, anak satu....
4. Die dah buat 10 kali kat cleaner tu.

The consequences...
1. Kene buang asrama. Kene cari rumah sewa kat luar.
2. Either kene buang universiti or gantung sem, depends on the upper side. After all, lepas raye baru dapat tahu.

About my younger brother...
1. Adik aku ni, pendiam orangnye. Jarang bercampur dgn orang. Kawan x ramai, x rempit, x smoke.
2. Skrg sem 3, diploma kat UiTM.
3. Sembahyang, tapi selalu kene tegur sebab mcm patuk ayam.
4. Fork out RM 1000 from my mum's ATM for the sake of stupid Blackberry.

My questions...
1. Ade x sape2 yang pernah hadap bende mcm ni, sbb this is our first ever, 1ST EVER, crime comitted by our own family member.

2. Guys, what should i do? Any advice?

Ini sememangnye adalah dugaan dari Allah ke atas keluarga kami. My family jarang ade problem, in terms of money, relationships, anything... But this time, it really hurts. Malu bukan kepalang, especially my mum.

MamaMima711

first of all..kena make sure betul ke allegation itu..atau adakah adik u diftnah krn cinta tak berbalas?the best is bersemuka dgn dekan, adik u and that cleaner..u x boleh dgr dari sebelah pihak aje..

Kebabomb

Apa yang di maksudkan dengan ' macam patuk ayam'....

mfharun

MamaMima711 posted on 9-8-2012 06:42 PM
first of all..kena make sure betul ke allegation itu..atau adakah adik u diftnah krn cinta tak berba ...

Adik i memang dah mengaku. X de sape yang pakse.

mfharun

Kebabomb posted on 9-8-2012 07:42 PM
Apa yang di maksudkan dengan ' macam patuk ayam'....

'Macam patuk ayam' ... Die sembahyang laju, nak cepat, x de penghayatan...

chaintea

this is serious
1st don't judge him..mmt dia buat salah
dia dpt hukuman..family jgn buang dia
but someone kena ajak dia rajin2 ke masjid surau..pegi majlis ilmu
dia rasa kosong mungkin..terlalu byk masa sorang2
tu yg buat keje bukan2 nih

missus_meow

uni define sexual harrassment as ... ? meow tanye coz sexl h can mean several things. 10 kali? bape kali repot? 10 kali n 1 report? kalo ye, nape tunggu sampai 10 kali? or ade past reports tp first tindakan by uni? kalo ye, nape? rayuan possible?

ur bro sounds like n introvert. yg len2 tu x brani ckp coz x tau whole story. but he reminds me of my friend's bro. solat xpress, blanja x pk ... sume typical teenager stuff. anyone in the family can talk 2 him? pastu bolehlah tt pk about what 2 do next. u need to know the real story b4 wat ape2.

mfharun

chaintea posted on 9-8-2012 10:19 PM
this is serious
1st don't judge him..mmt dia buat salah
dia dpt hukuman..family jgn buang dia

He was born as a silence guy. Memang pendiam. So, x ramai kawan. Sometimes, i risau gak. Die pernah cerita yang die sort of mcm kene pulau... Bile tanye kawan, nak pergi mane? Kwn die ckp... x pegi mane2... Then, last2 die dpt tau yang bdak2 tadi tu, mkn kat luar... So, in terms of social life, very depressing...

I pernah cakap dgn die..

1. Don't depressed to much, just continue je study. Focus on your study. Habiskan diploma. Tu yang penting.
2. Kalau jiwa rase kosong, isikan dengan ilmu agame, selalu ingat Tuhan, pergi masjid.
3. But then, like i mentioned, smbhyg mcm patuk ayam, kantoi video lucah, pakguard check dalam laptop die.
4. He feels empty, than anasir luar, hasutan syaitan masuk, he's not strong enough to face it alone.

chaintea

kesian juga..
dia type yg kita panggil loner ms zaman kuliah
nmpk kuat
actually dia sgt sunyi
he needs to be around org yg care about him
lebih kurang mcm attention seeker..

kena byk hadari program motiivasi mungkin
join any sukarelawan punye keje

mfharun

missus_meow posted on 9-8-2012 10:40 PM
uni define sexual harrassment as ... ? meow tanye coz sexl h can mean several things. 10 kali? bape  ...

Die dah involved dgn cleaner tu about 10 times. Means that, die peluk2, sentuh tangan 9 kali. Then, yang kali ke 10 tu die dah over the edge sebab die rabe buah dada. Cleaner tu kate die dah tak tahan lagi kene kacau.

missus_meow

mfharun posted on 9-8-2012 11:12 PM
Die dah involved dgn cleaner tu about 10 times. Means that, die peluk2, sentuh tangan 9 kali. Then ...

alahai, makcik cleanr pon satu ... dah kasik pelok, sentuh tgn ... dah bg wrong msg 2 ur bro. awk tu bini org, mak budak. x saying ape ur bro wat tu btl, but ...

boys who like porn slalunye ade low self esteem ... rs diri mereka xde nilai, sbb tu gaknye ur bro try ngan makcik cleanr ... talk 2 him tt, he's ur bro. when i say talk, i really mean listen. dont tell him what 2 do, he wont like it. n if he doesnt like it, ckplah sampai bbuih mulut pon, it wont work. ask him what he wants 2 do ... listen dgn minda tbuka ... dont judge, even kalo ape dia ckp nanti akan wat tt fening2 ... org pdiam ni slalunye byk mmendam rasa ... give him the chance 2 tell u what he feels, how he feels. u need super byk ksbrn.

mfharun

chaintea posted on 9-8-2012 11:08 PM
kesian juga..
dia type yg kita panggil loner ms zaman kuliah
nmpk kuat

Thanks for your advice, really appreciate it. I'll talk with the counselor on this matter.. maybe should assign a peer or a mentor specially for him... i don't know... will give it a try...

chaintea

yup
best way to start fresh
listen..don't judge

mfharun

missus_meow posted on 9-8-2012 11:27 PM
alahai, makcik cleanr pon satu ... dah kasik pelok, sentuh tgn ... dah bg wrong msg 2 ur bro. awk  ...

Makcik cleaner tu actually mude lagi, bergetah... Besides, die pun tak nak report sebab die pun baru keje situ, org susah, org kampung, takut kene buang keje kalau report...

Really appreciate your advice, going to have a chill and relaxing conversation with him, about his interest and etc...

missus_meow

mfharun posted on 9-8-2012 11:40 PM
Makcik cleaner tu actually mude lagi, bergetah... Besides, die pun tak nak report sebab die pun ba ...

ok tt, hope u guys work this out . by the way, x kirelah makcik ... ops, akak, cleanr tu bgetah cam pkok getah dara ke idak - she's n adult. she shd know better. she's x entirely blameless. maybe org len x agree, but it takes 2 to tango ...

mfharun

missus_meow posted on 9-8-2012 11:51 PM
ok tt, hope u guys work this out . by the way, x kirelah makcik ... ops, akak, cleanr tu  ...

yes, i do agree with you. At first, nak confront dgn cleaner tu face to face, tapi dekan tak kasi jumpe atas alasan takut my family akan buat ape2 kat cleaner tu.

rdzaccess

Ni macam masalah keluarga yang tidak prihatin terhadapnya.
Dia ni nak seseorang yang boleh beri dia keyakinan macam beri dia satu tugas yang bermula dari tugaan kecil agar dia mendapat keyakinan diri.
Berapa kerapkah ahli keluarga duduk bersama dia dan mendengar dia bercakap berkenaan apa pun topik atau pendapat dia?
Dia ni tersisih...dan menjangkakan bahawa orang lain tidak memperdulikan dia. maknanya tidak ambil tahu ..

puccafan

dy ada baca foru cari tak?kalo belom,ajar la dy baca forum cari.mesti dah tak sunyi.silap2 addict plak cam aku.1 hari tak bukak rasa gelisah ja

ParinAmat

kalo takde aktiviti berfaedah dan takde org amik berat, tak mustahil dia akan jadi perogol bersiri.. nauzubillah..

now u need to advise him..
1. women body parts (not paint work) are protected by the law in every country in the world in this universe, inclusively in the universities.. you can see but you cannot touch.. jgn mudah meraba dan meramas.. kena bagi dia faham yg ni..
2. kemahuan seksualitas yg luarbiasa perlu diseimbangi dgn aktiviti2 bermoral dan sihat.. bior dia join sport or other hobbies yg takde kaitan ngan tubuh badan wanita..
3. betul, pemerhatian seorg kaunselor ala2 mentor tv3 perlu utk memastikan dia membesar kuat dan sehat.. suruh dia byk libatkan diri dgn usrah di hostel dia.. selalunya ada group2 macam ni.. tentu ada abang nazir yg leh guide dan juga teman2 seusrah yg helpful enough..
4. sokongan family mmg perlu sgt kat sini.. make sure mak ko tau ttg perkembangan anak beliyau.. rapati adik yg bermasalah tu sama.. bbudak muda yg gila gajet ni tak bawak masalah pon, cuma bila berbelanja lebey had dan mengambil kesempatan mengepau duit mak tu mmg satu masalah juga tu.. cuba bawak dia masuk kem motivasi/bina diri/khemah ibadah anjuran kompeni yg provide consultation/motivation..

dah bleh tutup ke thread ni? mcm dah settle..

prettyuglybabe

tt tak ada terfikir ke nak hantar adik jumpa pakar psikologi atau psikiatri. cuba la rujuk samada pakar gomen ataupun private. mungkin mereka boleh mengkaji permasalahan dari akar umbi dan membantu adik tt untuk merawat ketagihan beliau terhadap perkara sexual. tak salah mencuba selain kita terapkan nilai-nilai agama ke dalam hati beliau.