Email Best Kitak Orang "Today"

hantujeraul

Apa email baru2 ngan best kitak urang dapat ari tok...
Kongsi-kongsi ngan member forum juak... dapat pakey supply ngan member lain ...
Aku pagi tok lom ada email baru masuk

azs~leen

aku ada email2 best tp lamak pun lah sigek gik mcm nie aku nak engkah ke sitok owhhhh aku pasal  tok ada lambat sikit!         

nanamiri

email dari kenalan yg sik dikenali.....

TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN A LAW FIRM, ARE NOT:

10. Have you looked through her briefs?
9. He is one hard judge.
8. Counsellor, let's do it in chambers.
7. Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.
6 Is it a penal offence?
5. Better
leave the handcuffs on.
4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
3. Can you get him to drop his suit?
2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty but in law isn't
1. Think you can get me off?

----------- ------------------ --------------

TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN THE OFFICE, ARE NOT:

10. I need to whip it out by 5.
9. Mind if I use your laptop?
8. Just stick it in my box.
7. If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!
6. I want it on my desk, NOW!!!!!
5. HMMMMM, I think it's out of fluid!
4. My equipment is so old; it takes forever to finish.
3. It's an entry-level position.
2. When do you think you'll be getting off today?
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty but at the office isn't
1. It's not fair. I do all the work while he just sits there!!!

------------
--------- --------------

TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN GOLF, ARE NOT:

10. Damn, my shaft is bent.
9. After 18 holes, I can barely walk.
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
7. Look at the size of his putter.
6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.
5. Mind if I join your threesome?
4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.
3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip!
2. Nice stroke, but your follow-through leaves a lot to be desired.
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty but in golf isn't
1. Hold up! I need to wash my balls first!

nanamiri

nok tok email  dr Boss JPJ....  

Adakah anda tau?

1. Cuba tengok zip seluar anda, tertera huruf YKK..YKK bermakna Yoshida Kogyo Kabushibibaisha iaitu sebuah kilang membuat zip terbesar di dunia yang menghasilkan zip yang korang pakai sekarang ni..

2. bunyi (kuek) yang dihasilkan oleh itik tidak bergema dan beralun. Sehingga kini kita tidak tahu mengapa.

3. Dengan sepotong coklat boleh membunuh anjing? benar!! Coklat mampu merosakkan sistem pernafasan dan jantung anjing. Dengan ounces yang banyak mampu membunuh seekor anjing bersaiz kecil.

4. Kebanyakan lipstick yang kita pakai sekarang ni mengandungi sisik ikan yang telah diproses.

5. Pada tahun 1830, ketchup (sos tomato) digunakan sebagai ubatan dan bukannya perasa tambahan pada makanan.

6. Tiada satu pun jam di Las Vegas gambling casinos. Dengan ketiadaan jam akan melekakan penjudi penjudi dengan taruhan mereka..

7. Kerana ketangkasan Bruce Lee..pengarah terpaksa memperlahankan sedikit filem yang diambil kerana terlampau laju dan pergerakan aksinya tidak dapat ditangkap melalui lensa kamera. Sesuatu yang agak luar biasa dari orang lain.

9. Mosquito repellents atau penghalau nyamuk tidak membunuh.Sensor nyamuk hanya dikaburi dan ini menyebabkan nyamuk tidak dapat mengesan dimana mangsa berada.

10. Pakar dan doktor gigi mengesyorkan berus gigi hendaklah diletakkan sekurang kurangnya 6 kaki jauh dari tandas utk menghalang kuman berterbangan ketiki anda menggunakan flush tandas.

11. Jika nombor 111,111,111 didarab 111,111,111 anda akan dpat jawapan 12345678987654321.

12. Warna biru adalah warna kesukaan 80 peratus rakyat Amerika.

13. Tanda (#) di keyboard komputer anda sebenarnya dinamakan 'octothorp'.

14. Adalah mustahil jika anda bersin tanpa memejamkan mata.

15. Seekor lipas boleh hidup selama 10 hari tanpa kepala.

16. Jika dikangkangkan kaki dan baring secara telentang, kita tidak akan tenggelam di dalam pasir jerlus.

17. Nama yang paling banyak umumnya di dunia ini ialah Muhammad.

18. Di Eropah, kebanyakan wanita Eropah tidak memakai seluar dalam sehingga ke tahun 1900 barulah seluar dalam diperkenalkan.

19. Produk pertama menggunakan bar code adalah Wrigley's gum.

20. Mexico City tenggelam sedikit demi sedikit sekitar 10 inci setiap tahun.

21. Mengikut statik dalam kehidupan, ayam adalah haiwan yang paling banyak di dunia mengalahkan manusia, kerana cara pembiakan yang berleluasa dan senang dibiakkan untuk makanan.

22. Otak akan lebih aktif ketika tidur dari ketika anda menonton tv.

23. terdapat banyak telefon di Washington D.C mengalahkan penduduk penduduknya.

24. Untuk melepaskan dari gigitan buaya, anda perlu mencucuk matanya menggunakan jari sekuat hati. Buaya akan melepas anda serta merta.

25. Jika sebutir kecil kismis dijatuhkan di dalam segelas champagne segar, kismis tersebut akan turun ke dasar gelas dan naik semula dan turun kembali dan seterusnya seakan dilambung-lambung.

26. Leonardo da Vinci juga mencipta gunting dan beliau menghabiskan 10 tahun untuk menyiapkan lukisan agungnya iaitu Monalisa(10 tahun untuk bahagian bibirnya sahaja)

27. Nama sebenar rama-rama (butterfly) ialah 'flutterby'.

28. 90% dari pembaca yang membaca info ini kebanyakannya tidak tahu tentang fakta yang telah diberikan. Keajaiban fakta fakta sebegini dapat menarik minat pembaca untuk mengetahui dari atas kemusykilan minda kita sendiri.

29. Tahukah anda senarai ini tiada no 8.

29. Dan kebanyakan pembacanya membaca fakta ini semasa waktu office... Pelik bukan!

30. Anda pasti menyemak kembali senarai ini sekali lagi untuk mengesahkan tiada no 8. kan ?



31. Anda jugak tergerak hati nak forward kat kekawan

azs~leen

email dr org yg tidak dikenali

Semua wanita itu cantik. Cumanya mungkin anda hanya perlu menambahkan kecantikan itu dengan usaha. Cantik itu adalah sesuatu yang subjektif. Ada orang kata si A itu cantik, tetapi orang lain tengok dia biasa sahaja. Oleh itu, wanita tidak kira di mana sahaja berada perlu menanam motivasi untuk meningkatkan keyakinan diri untuk kelihatan cantik.

Siapakah orang yang sibuk?  
Orang yang sibuk adalah orang yang tidak mengambil berat akan waktu solatnya seolah-olah ia mempunyai kerajaan seperti kerajaan Nabi
Sulaiman a.s

Siapakah orang yang manis senyumanya?
Orang yang mempunyai senyuman yang manis adalah orang yang ditimpa musibah lalu dia kata "Inna lillahi wainna illaihi rajiuun." Lalu sambil
berkata,"Ya Rabbi Aku redha dengan ketentuanMu ini", sambil mengukir senyuman.

Siapakah orang yang kaya?
Orang yang kaya adalah orang yang bersyukur dengan apa yang ada dan tidak lupa akan kenikmatan dunia yang sementara ini.

Siapakah orang yang miskin?
Orang yang miskin adalah orang tidak puas dengan nikmat yang ada sentiasa menumpuk-numpukkan harta.

Siapakah orang yang rugi?
Orang yang rugi adalah orang yang sudah sampai usia pertengahan namun masih berat untuk melakukan ibadat dan amal-amal kebaikan.

Siapakah orang yang paling cantik?
Orang yang paling cantik adalah orang yang mempunyai akhlak yang baik.

Siapakah orang yang mempunyai rumah yang paling luas?
Orang yang mempunyai rumah yang paling luas adalah orang yang mati membawa amal-amal kebaikan di mana kuburnya akan di perluaskan saujana mata memandang.

Siapakah orang yang mempunyai rumah yang sempit lagi dihimpit?
Orang yang mempunyai rumah yang sempit adalah orang yang mati tidak membawa amal-amal kebaikkan lalu kuburnya menghimpitnya.

Siapakah orang yang mempunyai akal?
Orang yang mempunyai akal adalah orang-orang yang menghuni syurga kelak kerana telah mengunakan akal sewaktu di dunia untuk menghindari siksa neraka.

Siapakah org yg KEDEKUT ?
Orang yg kedekut ialah org yg membiar atau membuang email ini begitu sahaja, malah dia tidak akan menyampaikan pula pada org lain.

[ Last edited by  azs~leen at 6-8-2007 10:54 AM ]

azs~leen

EMAIL FOWARD DR KWN2


Pada suatu pagi, seorang isteri dengan lembut telah bertanya
kepada suaminya, "Abang nak makan apa pagi, ni? Saya buatkan nasi lemak...nak?
Atau abang nak nasi goreng ke atau roti canai ke? Atau saya
buatkan roti telur nak?"
Suaminya pun berkata,"Tak payahlah. Abang tak ada selera
langsung nak makan. Ini semua Tongkat Ali punya pasal".

Sampai ke tengahari, isterinya pun bertanya lagi, "Abang nak makan apa tengahari ni? Saya masakkan abang kari daging...nak? Atau abang nak makan ikan ke atau ayam ke? Saya boleh masakkan sambal atau sup atau sweet & sour".
Suaminya berkata lagi, "Tak payahlah. Abang masih tak ada selera nak makan. Ini semua Tongkat Ali punya pasal".

Sampai ke malam, isterinya pun bertanya lagi, "Abang nak makan
apa malam ni? Saya masakkan abang ayam goreng ..nak? Atau abang nak makan fish & chips ke atau burger ke? Atau abang nak hot-dog?
Suaminya berkata lagi, "Tak payahlah. Abang masih tak ada selera nak makan. Ini semua Tongkat Ali punya pasal".

Lalu isterinya pun berkata, "Kalau begitu, boleh tak abang tolong bangun dari atas saya sekejap. Saya nak pergi makan kerana dah lapar sangat ni!!!!"
"Dari pagi tadi tak makan" Ini semua Tongkat Ali Punya Pasal!!!

nanamiri

Marriage Life Before and After !!


Before marriage.
Darling here.. darling there...
After marriage.
Baling here... baling there..


Before marriage.
I die for you. . .
After marriage.
"You die, up to you. "
Lagi lama married.
You die I help you!

Before marriage.
You go anywhere. . I follow you.
After marriage. .
You go anywhere. . up to you .
Lagi lama married.
You go anywhere better get lost!!

Before wedding
you are my heart, you are my love"
After wedding
"you get on my nerves. "

Before wedding
"you are sweet and kind just like Cinderella"
After wedding
"you are worse than godzila"

Before wedding
Roses are red, violets are blue. Like it or not, I'm stuck with you
After wedding
Roses are dead, I am blue. You get on my head, I will sue you

Before wedding
Every makan he brings you to Shangri-La
After wedding
You want to go, he says you wait-la

Before wedding
She looks like Anita Sarawak
After wedding
Don't know whether katak or biawak

Send instant messages to your online friends who need a good
laugh...................... esp if they are married......... !!!

nanamiri

adziah

dapat email dari jobstreet jak..hahah!!

adziah

mek ada dapat email tok.dalam email ya madah ya adik camelia...

jenni_84

Wife is like TV


Girl Friend is like HP


At home, watch TV


Go out bring HP


No money sell TV


Got money, change HP


Sometimes enjoy TV


Most of the time play with HP


TV free for life


HP if you dun pay, services will be terminated


So decide what you prefer ........................... a TV or HP ?????



org lelaki mesti la nak dua2kan!! ye betul la tu!!

adziah

kamek pun maok duak2....

jenni_84

Jan




Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth. Stubborn. Repost this in 5 mins and you will meet someone new in 8 days that will perfectly balance your personality.
Feb




Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexiest out of everyone. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest And loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt.  Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous.  Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.  Repost this in 5 mins and you will talk to someone new and realize that you are a perfect match.
Mar


Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate Shy and reserved. Secretive.  Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered.  Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness.  Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others.  If you repost this in the next 5 mins, you will meet your new love in 8 days.
Apr




Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous.  Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic.  Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others.  Very confidant. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and traveling. Systematic. Hot but has brains. If you repost this in 5 mins, a cutie that's caught your eye will introduce themselves and you will realize that you are very much alike in the next 2 days.
May




Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children.  Hardworking. High-spirited. If you repost this in the next 5 minutes, you will become close to someone you do not speak too much in the next 4 days.
Jun


You've got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have an a very attractive partner. a wicked hottie. It is also more than likely that you have a massive record collection. You have a great choice in films, and may one day become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck, you've got the looks for it!!! IN the next 6 days you will meet someone that may possibly become one of your closest friends, if you repost this in 5  minutes.

jenni_84

Jul


Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed.  Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable.  Emotional temperamental and unpredictable.  Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. spazzy at times.  Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets.  dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover. Repost this in the next 5 mins and your reputation will boost someway in the next 12 days
Aug




Outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. No self-control. Kind hearted Self-confident. Loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. Easy to get along with and talk to. Has an "every thing's peachy" attitude. Likes talking and singing. Loves music. Daydreamer.  Easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. Loves to be loved. Hates studying. in need of "that someone".  Longs for freedom. Rebellious when withheld or restricted. Lives by "no pain no gain" caring.  Always a suspect. Playful. Mysterious.  "charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious. Independent  Strong willed. A fighter. Repost in 5 mins and you will meet the love of your life sometime next month.
Sept




Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional.  Stubborn.  Hasty.  Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore.  Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.  If you do not repost this in the next 5 mins, someone very close to you will become mad at you in the next 8 days.
Oct


Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly.  Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions Unpredictable.  Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all. repost this in 5 mins or you will not meet the love of your life for 10 years.
Nov




Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times.  Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easily and very social in a group Fearless and independent.  Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the greatest men are born in this month. If you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because their one of a kind. Repost in 5 mins & you will excel in a major event coming up sometime this month.
Dec


This straight-up means you are the most good-looking person possible... Better than all of these other months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious.  Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best.  Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer.  Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding.  Able to show character. One guy/girl kind of person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves music. Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt.  Sensitive. [A hot new guy/girl will catch your eye & you will catch theirs too in the next 6 days, if you repost in 5min

wombat

coba jwb....kenapa kita tak penah terpikir selama ni??!!

Ah Chin

Ah Chin miskin. Die takde duit.

Die nak beli baju yang berharga rm50.

Die pinjam kat kawan A rm25 dan die pinjam kat kawan B rm25

so die pegi la nak beli baju tu.

masa die pegi. die tgk baju tu sale. harga turun. baju tu skarang berharga rm45.

die bayar then die dapat baki rm5.

die bagi kawan A rm1 dan die bagi kawan B rm1.

die tinggal rm3.

die hutang kawan A rm24 dan die hutang kawan B rm24.

so die hutang rm48.

die ade rm3 skarang.

rm48+rm3= rm51

kenapa boleh ade rm51? sedangkan die pinjam rm50.?



Abu

Abu miskin. Die takde duit.

Die nak beli baju yang berharga rm50.

Die pinjam kat kawan A rm25 dan die pinjam kat kawan B rm25

so die pegi la nak beli baju tu.

masa die pegi. die tgk baju tu sale. harga turun. baju tu skarang berharga rm44.

die bayar then die dapat baki rm6.

die bagi kawan A rm2 dan die bagi kawan B rm2.

die tinggal rm2.

die hutang kawan A rm23 dan die hutang kawan B rm23.

so die hutang rm46.

die ade rm2 skarang.

rm46+rm2= rm48

mana lagi rm2?



Rama

Rama miskin. Die takde duit.

Die nak beli baju yang berharga rm50.

Die pinjam kat kawan A rm25 dan die pinjam kat kawan B rm25

so die pegi la nak beli baju tu.

masa die pegi. die tgk baju tu sale. harga turun. baju tu skarang berharga rm47.

die bayar then die dapat baki rm3.

die bagi kawan A rm1 dan die bagi kawan B rm1.

die tinggal rm1.

die hutang kawan A rm24 dan die hutang kawan B rm24.

so die hutang rm48.

die ade rm1 skarang.

rm48+rm1= rm49



kenapa jumlah duit dia jadi rm49? Ke mana hilang rm1?

adziah

Oct


Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly.  Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions Unpredictable.  Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all.

YIKESSS!!!

chep

sapa ompuan sparuh bogel ya...

adziah

ya cepat matanya nangga....

chep

nanyak jak bah..

blom ajib gik ndiat...

adziah

deh...jantan2 keberet dalam board tok suma sama..