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[Pelbagai]
...LETS JOKE TO TICKLE THE MIND...
[Copy link]
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Isteri Sedih...
Suami: Kenapa sayang menangis?
Isteri: Saya telah baca sebuah buku. Sad ending lah bang.
Suami: Buku apa?
Isteri: Buku bank abanglah!
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British English vs Malaysian English
Who says our English is teruk? Just read below - Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-the-point, effective etc.
WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Malaysians: No stock.
RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone call for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hello, who call?
ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I would like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me.
WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey! Put your wallet away, this drink is on me..
Malaysians: No need lah.
WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: (pointing at the door) Can ah?
WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians: No need shy shy one lah!
WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?
WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I would prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Don't want lah.
IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err...Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad ah?
WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice? I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians: Shut up lah!
WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for sometime. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what, see what?
WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: What happened ah? Why like that one ah?
WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it. Here, let me show you.
Malaysians: Like that also don't know how to do!
WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me?
Malaysians: Celaka you!
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Kisah Suami Isteri
Suami: Tadi jumpa doktor dia kata sayang sakit apa?
Isteri: Doktor kata tak sakit apa-apa cuma sayang stress katanya. Dia bagi tahu sayang kena banyakkan makan steak atau seafood yang di grill. Lepas itu, dia suruh sayang berehat dengan pergi bercuti panjang ke pulau peranginan atau ke luar negara yang beriklim sejuk. Abang rasa kita perlu pergi mana ya?
Suami: Abang rasa kita patut pergi klinik lain.
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A wife complains to her husband: “Just look at that couple down the road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her, why can’t you do the same?”
The husband: “Are you mad? I barely know that woman!”
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Q: What do politicians and diapers have in common?
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A: Both should be changed regularly, and both for the same reason.
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Father buys a lie detector that makes a loud beep whenever somebody tells a lie.
The son comes home in the afternoon. Father asks him, “So, you were at school today, right?”
Son: “Yeah.”
Detector: “Beep.“
Son: “OK, OK, I was in a cinema.”
Detector: “Beep.”
Son: “Alright, I went for a beer with my friends.”
Father: “What?! At your age, I wouldn’t touch alcohol!“
Detector: “Beep.”
Mother laughs: “Ha ha ha, well, he really is your son!”
Detector: “Beep.”
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What is dangerous?
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Sneezing while having diarrhea!
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"Grandpa, why don't you have any life insurance?"
"So you can all be really sad when I die."
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Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.
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Q: Is Google a he or a she?
A: A she, no doubt, because it won‘t let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas.
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Category: Belia & Informasi
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Author
Post time 10-10-2017 12:04 AM
