Would you rather have unhappy marriage or happy affair?

mbhcsf

woaa..such  A confession of a mod...

Agul

As long as I'm being general and you don't ask me for specifics...

LostSoul

.. on the other hands, if you never try, you will never know...

so you lead your life knowing others' fate, yet yours will be unknown to you..

and once in a while you'll wonder..

amazed

Happy affair because life is too short and I'd rather be happy than unhappy.

thamrong

What a bloody question! May be Catch-22..May be not...

Its more like telling you kid there is no food in the kitchen and the bad news is you have to eat cow dung and the the good news is there are plenty of cow dung,

Agul

Originally posted by thamrong at 20-1-2008 12:37 PM
What a bloody question! May be Catch-22..May be not...

Its more like telling you kid there is no food in the kitchen and the bad news is you have to eat cow dung and the the good news is there ...

haha... very funny...

and long time no see... thamrong...

welcome back.

mbhcsf

simply clever with style.

hamizao

I see..........The GOOd news (to borrow from thamrong) is you are not alone. I have seen all siblings in a family not wanting to commit after seeing how their parent suffered in the hands of in-laws.

Today's NST mentioned a UK based survey which reflects a high percentage of unhappy couples, there is no longer love, staying only for the sake of the children, financial security etc. Pretty screwed up!

I learned the other day from watching the Australian Opens commentary, this player said that he only focuses on what he needs to do to get the better of his opponent rather than on whether he'd win or loose. Now that is a powerful tool!

Similarly, in a relationship, one should focus on what needs to be done. Those who talk things over whenever a threat arises are the ones likely to succeed.

Many people just dive into a relationship, get married without even realising what to expect. To those more conditioned by fairy tales would be utterly shocked that there trully is no such thing as "happily ever after". There is a lot of hard work to make a relationship work. There is more to marriage than just a ticket to legalised debauchery.

GTG now.........continue later.

[ Last edited by  hamizao at 20-1-2008 10:36 PM ]

blastoff

Originally posted by hamizao at 20-1-2008 01:34 PM

Similarly, in a relationship, one should focus on what needs to be done. Those who talk things over whenever a threat arises are the ones likely to succeed.

I think in a relationship , its not one but both should focus on what needs to be done because bertepuk sebelah tangan tak akan berbunyi melainkan kalau pi tepuk dinding   in that case one's own palm will be in pain ... so kalau sengsorang aje yang usaha itu dan ini untuk memulihkan keadaan while partner dia plak buat donno aje , maka sengsara laa jawapnya , no happiness can be achieved that way lah , and under such condition a divorce cannot be avoided if one wants to be happy lah .
But in the West , getting a divorce can be very costly since half of one's wealth can end up in the hands of one's ex spouse   so most of them would choose to stay in the marriage with both of them just go their own way , usually when that happens then having an affair seems to be the only way out for them ( in their minds lah) to ever feel happy again in a relationship  , or a more drastic solution is to get their partner killed or murdered so that they don't have to pay a single dime and they may even gain more from the life insurance policies of their deceased partners

[ Last edited by  blastoff at 22-1-2008 05:59 PM ]

SONofODIN

I am sure that many of us would choose happy affair than an unhappy marriage life.
Some would still stay with an unhappy marriage life for the sake of their children.
All depends on how do you want to sacrifice, yourself or your children.

LostSoul

how can you have a happy affair when you are married? you gotta get out of the marriage then to have a happy affair (which should not be called 'affair' anymore as it is legal then for you to have a happy RELATIONSHIP).

thamrong

Marriage is two right person doing the wrong thing;

An affair is two wrong person doing the right thing.

hamizao

Of courselah, kalau both lagi best. If the one part can guide the other to  see things clearer pun alhamdullillah. If both parties asyik meletup je.....that's where the problem is.

Back to the commitment bit, I think those who avoid making it are perhaps suffering from a disorder ..........nothing derogatory though. They need to regain trust in their fellow human beings. It is natural to be cautious but I think it is abnormal to think every one else is devious or so. Some people would say "hati dah tertutup" but I believe it can be changed.

Agul

Fear of commitment/marriage is called Gamophobia...
Sort of disorder like...

It's like erecting a big, strong wall. How to get inside the castle?

Open the gate? Break the wall?

Will I ever get married?

Intellectually, I think I know why. But emotionally, I don't know why is it so strong... To think that I got this covered long ago...

Between idealism and pragmatism...

raeshad

undoubtedly i'd choose
Happy affair.

my reasons:

1. it's unlikely that i'd choose a traditional marriage.
2. anyone in their right mind, and if given the circumstances - would choose to have something fulfilling rather than being in a sinking relationship.

[ Last edited by  seribulan at 23-1-2008 11:15 AM ]

SONofODIN

Originally posted by Agul at 23-1-2008 01:16 AM
Will I ever get married?

Marriage comes naturally. No need to plan.

raeshad

Originally posted by <i>SONofODIN</i> at 23/1/08 01:27 AM

<br />

<br />
Marriage comes naturally. No need to plan.

i doubt it. how do you explain the population of singles out there?

ussopp

Would you rather have unhappy( Good thing) or happy (bad thing)?


mungkinkah sebab nak hidup senang....kita tak mahu celik....

asalkan happy perkara jahat pun nak buat....asalkan tak heppy perkara baik takyah buat...

mudah sgt rasanya camtu...

[ Last edited by  ussopp at 23-1-2008 03:17 PM ]

ussopp

tanya penagih dadah....

would you rather have unhappy no drug lifestyle or happy drug lifestyle?

soalan mcm nie buat org konfuse mana baik mana buruk....

sedangkan sudah tahu buruk =drug ,affair etc

baik= no drug, marriage....

ish3...

raeshad

I guess usopp, as the original poster had intended - this is a question of WANT rather than adhering to the proverbial philosophical conundrum that is the choosing of which mores to follow - the right or the wrong