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Para suami ...kenapa korang nak kahwin lagi?
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Reply #259 braincell's post
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aku blom jawab kot soklan gila2 ni.......
naper aku nak kawin lagikk........sbb aku ni penyayang, aku kesian kat dia.......... |
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Originally posted by gilagila2 at 14-5-2008 12:10 AM 
Nak tanya suami-suami orang yg ada di forum ini, kenapa korang nak kahwin lagi padahal dah ada isteri di rumah, isteri yg korang dah ucap untuk sehidup semati . Isteri yg dah c ...
Aku tak go through the thread.. panjang sangat, so aku jawap soalan thread starter je laa kot...
To tell you the truth, tak ada one answer fits all for this question... different scenario generate different reason... kita kan manusia, different colors...
There are a lot of reasons... most yang we heard, if we are really looking at the scenario, is because of nafsu (come on, do we really need to help a woman, that is young at age, cantik, dahi licin, yang actually have no problem getting a husband?),
Second, either actually derived from first reason (dikaburi oleh kengkonon rasa sempurnanya bakal isteri baru), or maybe a genuine and valid reason, adalah kerana isteri sekarang tidak mengambil berat secukupnya tentang suami...
Third, maybe because of zuriat, if isteri really has problem conceiving, I think this one should be ok...
There are other reason, less heard of, but valid nonetheless, really helping single mother etc... and please, for this reason, if the men really want to help and they can afford it, don't discredit them to say it is nafsu etc.. look at the scenario and think for yourself.
My uncle married a woman around 40, "not thin", anak dara tua... and I seriously doubt it is nafsu.. but then it's just me....
Aku tak menentang poligami, aku menentang orang yang menggunakan poligami sebagai alasan untuk memuaskan nafsu, dan menggunakan segala alasan seperti sunah Nabi, diharuskan Tuhan etc... the least what these people can do, be truthful, cakap je nak kahwin pasal nafsu... at least be honest.... instead of creating walls of reasons, giving poligamy a very bad name... oh ya, satu lagi.. aku jugak against perempuan yang meroyan sampai beyond reasoning 
[ Last edited by NtahSapaNtah at 26-5-2008 02:32 PM ] |
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Originally posted by panda_comel at 26-5-2008 02:07 PM 
Mungkin sbb isteri yg dikahwini selama ni bukan dream woman... masa kawin dulu main rembat je, tambah2 lg kalo pempuan tu direkomen oleh parent atau saudara-mara... masa tu kena ikut ckp pa ...
this statement apply to my marraige..
statement ikhlas dari my ex....... |
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Reply #268 bakawali_04's post
tak pelah baka...belum tentu akan till death akan jadi dream woman ekekekeke...  |
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Reply #270 Lipton's post
Somebody just told me, berserah jelah pada Ilahi...part ni kita susah nak buat.
We can say all we want, tak nak bermadulah, nanti laki tak adillah. Rela hidup soranglah.
But mungkin tuhan dah tentukan kita bermadu and that might be the best thing for us...or not...but dah ditakdirkan sebegitu.
So sy rasa tak perlu nak kupas dalam2 reason why lelaki nak kahwin lagi...jatuh cinta ke, bini mandul ke, seks kuat ke...memang dah dibolehkan dalam islam..
Yang isu lagi hot is bab tanggungjawab. Mcmana nak didik kaum lelaki ni so kenal tanggungjawab dia terhadap isteri and realise kemampuan dia sendiri. Tang ni ramai laki adopt attitude sambil lewa n lepas tangan. Kalau wife dah tanggung makan minum, automatic jadi tugas isteri..I bet kalau yang betul2 jalankan tanggungjawab as a husband, tak tercapai akalnya nak kahwin lagi. T/jawab not only duit, but nafkah batin, perasaan, bimbingan agama etc..Kalau tak, takkan dosa isteri suami kena tanggung.
Tapi laki bila dah hellbent nak kahwin lagi, yang tak mampu pun jadi mampu, tak adil pun jadi adil..One guy told me, kalau dia ditakdirkan kahwin lagi, maknanya tuhan ttahu dia boleh berlaku adil....wow...betapa angkuhnya lelaki ni... |
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Originally posted by bakawali_04 at 26-5-2008 03:52 PM 
this statement apply to my marraige..
statement ikhlas dari my ex.......
kejor impian tu macam kejor pelangi..keje bodoh
tapi ramai buat..mostly buat sebab?
sebab it feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeels gooooddddd..
dasar manusia..apa buat dia rasa besh..dia buat ler walo keje bodoh sekali pun
bila dah tersedor selalu nya dah terlambat..dah terkurung so manusia tu akan paksa diri dia percaya self stupidity die
kalo kita tido mimpi besh2..sonok mimpi tu kalo sapa2 kejut kita marahhh...kaco jek katanya
tapi cuba mimpi ngeri..nightmare..malah terjaga sendirik..eeeeeeeeeeiii apaaa aku mimpi tadik tuu eeeiiiii 
so jadi lah soang realist, mimpi tu mainan tidor jek, cukup masa body clock kejut tuan badan mangun dan bekeje lah
apa pun mendatang, buleh di improvise , tadak masalah tokleh di selesei kan haaaaaaa..
it is not about things that make we happy but we must be happy with anything that we work for..usaha keringat walo, untung satu sen bila niaga ..tapi ada untung lain macam kenai ramai oang pembeli tu seme..ramah tamah etc.
oang lelaki terpanggil secara fitrah dia di jadikan, melindungi yang lemah misalnya dan kawin tu cara di anjur agama , ikatan rasmi dalam masarakat yang diperlukan sebelum nak tolong apa pun sebagai cara menjauhi FITNAH masarakat, kadang2 fitnah tu boleh jadik lebih kejam dari membunuh
kalo niat baik sungguh2 ..ikhlas, seme jalan di permudahkanNYA
sebelum tirai kehidupan setiap kita berlabuh, nanti kita akan sedor samada kita penah ke tidak dalam hidup ini bersungguh2 |
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Originally posted by dieyna at 26-5-2008 04:51 PM
Somebody just told me, berserah jelah pada Ilahi...part ni kita susah nak buat.
We can say all we want, tak nak bermadulah, nanti laki tak adillah. Rela hidup soranglah.
But mungkin tuhan ...
Actually cerite tanggungjawab ni... betul jugak actually, but then again, most of the time... woman akan guna this issue as a fight back issue....
Man akan debate in term of sunah, nak tolong orang, Tuhan bagi whatever...
Woman akan debate in term of suami tak tunjuk boleh bertanggungjawab, tugas berat, tak alim etc...
And the debate will go till eternity..... when the real fact is (in most cases not all), lelaki nak kahwin pasal nafsu, and woman tak sanggup bermadu pasal tak nak berkongsi kasih...
Let's visit tanggungjawab, apa yang membuat perempuan kata lelaki tu takkan boleh bertanggungjawab, provide everything etc.. if memang tak mampu in term of monetary, yes can be accepted, in fact I think this is one of the thing that court will check when nak bagi kebenaran poligami, but in other terms... what makes woman think that the man cannot be better, once married..... if it is based on general perception.. then it is stereotyping... not that I say the man will definitely be better (hahaha most cases takkan punye, yup I'm stereotyping now)....
Entah tak reti nak cakap... aku tau kejap lagi sure aku kena flame balik... my point is, kalau husband still responsible, tak tunjuk sign of neglecting family, woman actually tak ada case to build pon, but if husband dah start tunjuk ke"tak guna"an, you can request for divorce or fasakh already... no point of screaming here and there, crying here and there, when the husband is proven useless and showing no sign to change...
I always wonder... is it really because of tanggungjawab issue, or is just that woman can't bear the thought of sharing a husband, even when the husband is capable...we build up reason to justify our own view... we are human after all |
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sebab ada je pompuan yg nak kawin ngan somi org.... |
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Reply #272 NtahSapaNtah's post
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aji aku sebab jeles ekekekekeke...kalau jeles aku ilang rasa ok jerk..aku pun jenis rimas nak ngada laki ari2.. |
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Reply #272 NtahSapaNtah's post
Hehehe takde flame nye. I totally agree with whatever u say..Bini mana yang nak bermadu..me included..
Kalau boleh dielakkan, mmg akan berusaha nak elak..
It is also human to fight back with whatever ammo that we can get our hands on...Bila masok court, judge tanya on kemampuan financial, batin, adil and reason nak kahwin...So klu dah ada bukti tak mampu and tak adil, no way boleh kahwin lagi. Why do u think skrg ni banyak kahwin rahsia...
Kalau laki tu mampu, there is nothing u can say to deny him that right..that's why i say kena berserah...n pray it is the best thing to happen to u... |
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Originally posted by NtahSapaNtah at 26-5-2008 05:20 PM
Actually cerite tanggungjawab ni... betul jugak actually, but then again, most of the time... woman akan guna this issue as a fight back issue....
Man akan debate in term of sunah, nak tolon ...
sebab after all we are just human being ler maka kita need each other..memerlukan satu sama lain, parts of the system
oang pompuan ni naturally bukan realist, jenis duk di taman bunga..sonok2 main buaian nyanyi2 laa la laalaaa..so depa tokleh bayangkan kesusahan or persepsi macam tu..dah nature depa cenggitu so biasa la kalo depa takut isu bermadu berkongsi laki nak pi perang anak nak duk jauh dan macam2 ujian seme tuh
oang lelaki nature depa wajib menerima kesusahan, test power untuk depa samada real men or plastik aaa ok? depa kene praktikal, realist, susah2 duluk senang2 kendian.. kalo misal ada sepinggan makanan untuk ahli koge..kalo de anok..depa kasik anak dulu, kendian kasik bini or bini biniiiiiii depa..abissssss seme tu kalo de sisa makanan tu baru depa punye turn..aaa kalo lapar..bersusah2..tu seme biasaaaaaa jek pada lelaki..kalo depa mengeluh lebih baik pi operation tuko jadik bapok ler
kawin tu nak jauhi fitnah..kut nak tolong ikhlas seme2 niat baik..dah mulut manusia, masarakat , bukan mudah di jaga, bukan soal sex jek.. tapi manusia laa ni lawak sungguh..baru2 ni depa kasik piala kat sapa2 nikah ibu tunggal , yang terkejut tu tok2 guru agama ni takmo plak kawin ibu tunggal..carik anak dare gak ..apasal?
lagi satu zaman cenggini, pride manusia esp pompuan tu dah lain, depa tak suke di kasihani, depa kata depa boleh bahagia idup sendiri gak, mesia boleh aku boleh gak..so susah jugak ni..nanti kalo kita cakap kita kawin ni sebab nak tolong dia, aaaa lain plak dia fikir..pasai apa kesiankan saya? kesian dulu diri awak tu ..ewahhhh awek moderen ler katakannn..menjawap |
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Reply #277 ajinomotonosuga's post
I always thought women lebih kuat persevere, tak mengalah, cekal..bukan macam bang aji ckap tu...tak realist seolah2 tak berpijak di bumi nyata...
Or is it u want to say women ni always think macam dalam fairtytale love story...till death do us part......memang lazim dah nature pompuan sayang sorang je... |
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Originally posted by dieyna at 26-5-2008 05:59 PM
I always thought women lebih kuat persevere, tak mengalah, cekal..bukan macam bang aji ckap tu...tak realist seolah2 tak berpijak di bumi nyata...
Or is it u want to say women ni always think ...
Actually apa aji cakap pon ada betul, apa kau cakap pon betul jugak...
It just that there is difference on how man and woman think...
You need to feed woman's heart, but you need to feed man's brain.... (normally laa hahaha)
And yes, given a dire situation, ibu tunggal etc, woman will be very strong, because instead of they have a protector, now they have to become the protector.
Anyway, I always say that there are 2 types of men, satu, pikir pakai kepala, satu lagi, pikir pakai "kepala bawah" |
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Couldn't agree with u more |
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Post time 25-5-2008 12:16 PM
