Emotionally immature or emotionally intense?

my-alja

The Overexcitabilities
Emotional intensity can be understood as a positive characteristic for gifted children in the context of Dabrowski's theory of Emotional Development. Emotional development proceeds as a function of the interaction between the individual's developmental potential and environment. Developmental potential is constituted of a person's talents, intelligence, five forms of psychic overexcitability and the capacity for inner transformation. (Dabrowski 1972; Piechowski 1979) Overexcitability (expanded awareness and a heightened capacity to respond to stimuli of various types) is a translation from a Polish term which means the capacity to be superstimulated. The tern overexcitability was chosen to convey the idea that the stimulation is well beyond the common and average in intensity and duration. The difference in intensity and sensitivity is not only greater than normal, it is also a difference in the very quality of experiencing. Overexcitabilities can be thought of as an abundance of physical, sensual, creative, intellectual and emotional energy that can result in creative endeavours as well as advanced emotional and ethical development in adulthood. As such, they are a positive force for the gifted, as they feed, enrich, empower and amplify talent. (Piechowski 1999) Overexcitabilities are assumed to be innate and appear in five forms: Psychomotor - surplus of energy, restless, curious
Sensual - sensory and aesthetic pleasure
Intellectual - strong signs of analysis and synthesis, theoretical thinking, probing questions, learning, problem solving
Imaginational - vivid fantasy life, spontaneous imagery, sensitive to imaginary realities
Emotional - intensity of feeling:, complex emotions and feelings, extremes of emotion, sensitivity, identification with the feelings of others, difficulty adjusting to change. (Dabrowski 1972; Piechowski, cited in Silverman, 1993)
Emotional Overexcitability
High levels of Emotional Overexcitability are exhibited by gifted children, adolescents and adults as the capacity for emotional depth. The depth and intensity of emotional life are expressed by the gifted through a wide range of feelings, attachments. compassion, heightened sense of responsibility and scrupulous self-examination. While these are normal for the gifted and appear very early in gifted children, they are often misunderstood as signs of emotional immaturity rather than as evidence of a rich inner life. (Piechowski & Colangelo 1984)

[ Last edited by  my-alja at 22-1-2008 02:51 PM ]

my-alja

sesapa ada anak yg seakan-akan di atas nie....

anak i nie intense sgt lah dlm segala hal....i pening dgn masalah emosi dia, nak cakap pun org takkan paham...

kita tinggal dulu soal gifted tu....tak nampak apa2 kelebihan dia dlm segi lain cuma soalan2 dia memang diluar jangkaan budak seusia dia...itu saja..yg lain2 nampak normal...

please share with me

my-alja

Emotional Immaturity or Emotional Intensity?

Michael was 4 years old when his mother took him to see the movie "Charlotte's Web". He left the theatre sobbing uncontrollably because the spider had died, leaving her children alone in the world. He cried for hours that day and continued speaking about death and sadness for months afterwards. His parents were concerned as he withdrew into himself. His teacher said that he wouldn't mix with other children and didn't want to play with his friends.

Thomas, 7, is described by his teachers as a shy and sensitive boy who is very aware of the needs of other children. In class, he is quiet and hesitant to do activities until he has had time to watch and evaluate them. He is, at times, uncomfortable with the noise and activity level in the room and displays extreme emotions during these times, often crying.  

Rebecca 8 was working happily on her drawing in class when suddenly she threw it to the ground, stamped on it and burst into tears, yelling "it's not right, I can't do it right".

Annabel 6 taught herself to read and write before she started school. She loved books, particularly The Hobbit, which was her favourite. In her first at school she was made to read at the level of other children her age and she became withdrawn. The teacher said that she had poor social skills. In her second year she was frustrated and angry and began to misbehave and disrupt the class. The suggestion was made that she should attend counseling to correct her oppositional and anti-social behaviour.

KESEMUA ciri2 kat atas nie ada pd my son drp umur dia 3 thn  sampailah sekarang....

Heightened sensitivity to things that happen in the world is a normal response for gifted children. However they may see their own intense inner experiences as evidence that something is wrong with them. Other children may ridicule a gifted child for reacting strongly to an apparently trivial incident, thereby increasing the child's feeling of being odd. Also, sensitivity to society's injustice and hypocrisy can lead many emotionally intense gifted children to feel despair and cynicism at very young ages.

[ Last edited by  my-alja at 27-12-2007 01:55 PM ]

my-alja

utk sesapa yg ada masalah cam i...bolehlah baca artikel yg i paste nie, utk panduan...

rasa bersalah plak sebab selama nie, i igt my son cam ade benda yg tak kena dgn dia....selalu sgt stress dgn dia, my mom selalu blame me...kata i nie terlalu strict...ermmmm

Emotional intensity can be expressed in many different ways:

• as intensity of feeling - positive feelings, negative feelings, both positive and negative feelings together, extremes of emotion, complex emotion that seemingly move from one feeling to another over a short time period, identification with the feelings of other people, laughing and crying together
• in the body - the body mirrors the emotions and feelings are often expressed as bodily symptoms such as tense stomach, sinking heart, blushing, headache, nausea
• inhibition - timidity and shyness
• strong affective memory - emotionally intense children can remember the feelings that accompanied an incident and will often relive and 're-feel' them long afterward
• fears and anxieties, feelings of guilt, feelings of being out of control
• concerns with death, depressive moods
• emotional ties and attachments to others, empathy and concern for others, sensitivity in relationships, attachment to animals, difficulty in adjusting to new environments, loneliness, conflicts with others over the depth of relationships
• critical self-evaluation and self-judgment, feelings of inadequacy and inferiority

my-alja

this is what u can do as parents...

The most important thing we can do to nurture emotionally intense gifted children is to accept their emotions: they need to feel understood and supported. Explain that intense feelings are normal for gifted children. Help them to use their intellect to develop self-awareness and self-acceptance. Parents need to exercise appropriate discipline as this helps develop a sense of security that leads to the development of self-discipline and a feeling of emotional competency. Appropriate discipline is the consistent application of values, rules and behaviours that are held to be important in the family. Explain the benefit of rules to the child and enforce them through consequence of behaviour.

Discuss feelings openly; the negative as well as the positive. It can be helpful to use an "emotional thermometer" to initiate discussion eg "on a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling today? "Take time to listen to children's ideas, opinions and feelings. Be non-judgmental: don't interrupt, moralize, distract or give advice. Appreciate their sensitivities, intensities and passions. Don't try to minimize their emotions because you feel uncomfortable with their pain. It doesn't help to say "you're too sensitive" or "snap out of it" or "it'll be OK". ....huhuhuhuhu, i selalu marah dia...sampai dia sendiri ngaku..."i am sensitive boy"

Reassure them when they are afraid and help them to find ways of expressing their intense emotions though stories, poems, art work, music, journal entries or physical activities. Realize that they become frustrated when their physical capabilities do not match their intellectual ability and help them to deal with this. Reward the process of effort and not only the outcome. Emphasize strengths and don't dwell on shortcomings.  

Realize that sensitivity does not mean weakness. Give them responsibility that is age appropriate and do not over protect them from the world and from the consequence of their actions. Remember that they are children first and gifted second. Don't expect them to be little "adults". Play, fun and leisure activities are essential for strong emotional development.

Finally, seek preventative professional counseling where appropriate; it is important both to support healthy emotional development and to prevent social and emotional problems.  We can help our emotionally intense gifted children to accept their inner world of experience and value it as strength. This often means we have to accept and value our own emotional experience and feelings so that we can be a positive role model for children. Speaking about and valuing our emotions can be very difficult to do in a society that values rational, logical thinking and sees emotions as the opposite of rationality.

However, if emotional intensity is seen by parents and teachers and presented positively to children as a strength, children can be helped to understand and value this gift. In this way emotionally intense children will be empowered to express their unique selves in the world and use their gifts and talents with confidence and joy.

[ Last edited by  my-alja at 27-12-2007 08:59 PM ]

macademia

mac pun termasuk dalam category ni boleh tak?  - emotionally intensed..... Hehe....

And anak no2 mmgla dalam golongan ni......

[ Last edited by  macademia at 18-3-2008 01:50 PM ]

my-alja

mac selalu tak marah anak tu?

i kekadang takleh nak kawal rasa marah kat dia...like last holiday, on the way back from the mall...i bebel kat dia sepanjang jalan dlm kete sampai rumah...sebabnya dia komplen kata, i nie suka buat dia sedih

dah lahh...hubby takde o/station, kita nie plak kononnya nak beli hati dia bawak pi mcD...beli buku memacam, boleh lagi dia kata..i nie suka buat dia sedih...

macademia

dulu selalu marah.... now tak marah sangat.... since i play with her emotion more.....

last week ada incident, but i just buat biasa, tegur2 biasa je and tak marah pun.......

rupa2nya dia terasa, hehe reverse psychology la pulak.....

pagi tadi dapat surat cinta dari dia..... hehe dia buat poem mencurahkan perasaan ....

HOTlips

Nak baca boleh? he he... nyibuk jek!

My eldest yg brutal ni pun, dlm hati jiwang karat. Pernah jugak dia tulis atas kad ucapan, minta maaf bagai.

my-alja

Originally posted by macademia at 18-3-2008 02:36 PM
dulu selalu marah.... now tak marah sangat.... since i play with her emotion more.....

last week ada incident, but i just buat biasa, tegur2 biasa je and tak marah pun.......

rupa2nya dia t ...

cemana tu ...ajar lah sket how to play with the emotion...
anak lelaki dan pompuan berbeza dr segi luahan emosi...

i rasa, anak nie keras sgt dia punya personaliti....kalo tak dilentur, memang sesak nafas kalo dah jadi buluh

my-alja

Originally posted by HOTlips at 18-3-2008 04:14 PM
Nak baca boleh? he he... nyibuk jek!

My eldest yg brutal ni pun, dlm hati jiwang karat. Pernah jugak dia tulis atas kad ucapan, minta maaf bagai.

hehehhe...tu yg ramai peminat kot ...anak i nanti, i kena ajar dia kot cemana nak luahkan perasaan dia....

anj2208

my doter, she is only 2++...
dulu i sll fikir dia x mature lagi sbb tuh jd mcm nih...
tp bila lama2 i fikir dia ni dah blh fikir sbb tu jd mcm nih...
so skrg, i plak dgn dia punya emotions.....
or, reverse physo dgn dia...
nampaknya, it's works...
tp, xtau la sampai bila blh bertahan...

sbb, skrg ni dida(abah) dia yg very penyabar pun dah x tahan dgn dia.....
kadang2 i rs kesian plak kat dia......

my-alja

hehehe...baru 2yrs, dgn terrible twos...takes time to grow

macademia

Originally posted by HOTlips at 18-3-2008 04:14 PM
Nak baca boleh? he he... nyibuk jek!

My eldest yg brutal ni pun, dlm hati jiwang karat. Pernah jugak dia tulis atas kad ucapan, minta maaf bagai.

hehe mana boleh share....

tapi pandai pulak dia buat poem..... it rhymes tau!...hehe

macademia

Originally posted by my-alja at 19-3-2008 07:51 AM


cemana tu ...ajar lah sket how to play with the emotion...
anak lelaki dan pompuan berbeza dr segi luahan emosi...

i rasa, anak nie keras sgt dia punya personaliti....kalo tak dilentur, ...

la macamana la nak ajar....

But i listen more la..