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TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks.
BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.
CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING.When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, andpeople's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on. (This alsoapplies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)
SITCOMs.Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turninto when they have children and one of them stops working to stay homewith the kids or start a "home business".
SINBAD . single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.
STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
ADMINISPHERE.The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank andfile. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundlyinappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed tosolve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" -needless paperwork and processes.
404.Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 NotFound," meaning that the requested document could not be located.
OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake ( e.g. you've hit 'reply all')
GOING FOR A McSH蚚/b]T.Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food,you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member,your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a McSh韀font=Arial,Helvetica,Sans Serif]t with Lies.
BEER COMPASS. Theinvisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after boozecruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, howyou got here, and where you've come from.
GREYHOUND. A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
MILLENNIUM DOMES.The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed fromthe outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.
MONKEY BATH. A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go:
"Oo!Oo!Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!".
SALAD DODGER. An excellent phrase for an overweight person
[ Last edited by amazed at 3-2-2008 02:27 PM ] |
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dah tau perkataan2 br neh,bley la guna pasneh..... |
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Reply #1 amazed's post
words2 ni mmg termaktub ke?
mcm best je nk guna |
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baru tau 404 tu aper..haha |
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words women use
tak caya korang tanya gf korang (or yang pompuan tu admit aje la )
FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.
FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.
NOTHING
This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"
GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows! )
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"
GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"
SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.
THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."
GO AHEAD!
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"
THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.
THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing" |
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women's dictionary..
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need = I want
It's your decision = My correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're going to hate
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you're dead
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the english language...
If you ever feel stupid, then just read on. If you've learned to speak fluent English, you must be a genius! This little treatise on the lovely language we share is only for the brave. Peruse at your leisure, English lovers.
Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?
Interesting isn't it? And we said English is easy to learn |
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Reply #8 amazed's post
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... hilang penat... |
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spelling checker!!
Eye Halve a Spelling Chequer
Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rarely ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect in it's weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.
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10 words
1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn
the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.
2. CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming,
of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times,
reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back
down to give the vacuum one more chance.
3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of confection
(lollipop) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will
somehow 'remove' all the germs.
4. ELBONICS (el bon'iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for
one armrest in a movie theater.
5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept
onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he
finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the
"open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort
to the 'illegal' side.
7. PEPPIER (peph ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole
purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh
ground pepper.
8.PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number
and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
9. PUPKUS (pup'kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog
presses its nose to it.
10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always
letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when
you're only six inches away. |
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Politically Correct Woman:
She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.
She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.
She is not HALF NAKED - She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED.
She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.
She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES
She does not want to be MARRIED - She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION.
She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.
She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.
She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE.
She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT.
She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.
She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is GRAVITY RESISTANT.
She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE
She does not have THIN LIPS - She is COLLAGEN DEPENDENT |
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alternative medical dictionary
Alternative Medical Dictionary:
1. Artery - The study of paintings
2. Barium - What Doctors do when patients die
3. Caesarean Section - A neighbourhood in Rome
4. Cauterize - Made eye contact with her
5. Colic - A sheep dog
6. D&C - Where Washington is
7. Dilate - To live long
8. Enema - Not a friend
9 Fibula - A small lie
10. Genital - Not a Jew
11. Impotent - Distinguished, well known
12. Labour Pain - Getting hurt at work
13. Morbid - A higher offer
14. Nitrates - Cheaper than day rates
15. Node - Was aware of
16. Outpatient - A person who has fainted
17. Post-Operative - Letter carrier
18. Recovery Room - Place to do upholstery
19. Seizure - Roman Emperor
20. Tablet - Small table
21. Terminal Illness - Getting sick at the airport
22. Urine - Opposite of ' you're out' |
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lawak..lawak..
tang pompuan tu ada betulnyer jugak |
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isk isk:@
banyak betul arrr... pasal girl...:@ |
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egosurfing - scanning the net, databases etc for one's own name
adminisphere - the organisational layers above the rank and file who make decisions dat r often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant
alpha geek - most knowledgeable technically proficient person in an office or work group
flight risk - describe employers who r suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon
idea hamsters - people whose idea generators r always running
irrritainment - entertainment n media spectacles dat r annoying, but u find urself unable to stop watching them
hollywired - convergence of movies, interactive tv n computers
cobweb - website dat never change
link rot - process by which a web page's links become obsolete as the sites they're connected to change or die
glazing - corporate-speak for sleeping with ur eyes open; a popular past-times at conferences n early-morning meetings
ohnosecond - miniscule fraction of time during with you realise u've just made a terrible error, such as sending an email to the wrong person
seagull manager - a manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise make a mess over everything n leaves
blamestorming - group discussion of why a deadline was missed or a project failed n who was responsible
stress puppy - person who thrives on being stressed out n whiny
swiped out - atm or credit card dat has been used so much its magnetic strip is worn away
mouse arrest - getting busted for violating online service's rule of conduct
decruitment - euphemism for being fired |
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scrambled solved
There's no reason to be insecure if you job is sinecure
Despite her boyfriend's apology, she nursed a grudge that made her sunder the relationship.
Our professor imputes my friend's sudden industriousness to one impetus: graduation.
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Brand new words
THIS is a glossary of words that have recently been used in English and do not yet appear in traditional dictionaries.
1-800 car n. A car outfitted with superficial and expensive modifications that make it look like a fast car but which do not improve its performance. Instead of doing the work from scratch, which is more respected among car fans, the car owner has simply bought all the add-ons from a mail order company. 1-800 is a prefix for toll-free phone numbers typically used by the mail order company.
circus gold n. Elephant dung. For a lucky gardener, it is indeed gold. Use humorously.
citjo n. A blend of the words 揷itizen |
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Category: Belia & Informasi
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Post time 3-2-2008 07:46 AM
变色卡
Author
Post time 12-2-2008 01:16 PM
