Would you rather have unhappy marriage or happy affair?

sLapshock

Would you rather have unhappy marriage or happy affair?

Condition for answering
1. There is no right or wrong answer, just which you rather have.
2. Such answer like "I would not have both' is NOT valid.

Your answer should be like

Unhappy Marriage. <Why you rather have this>

or

Happy Affair. <Why you rather have this>

me_ai

Happy Affairs,

<sbb masih ada ruang utk pertimbangkan beberapa keputusan penting sblm decide nak kahwin>
assumption, affairs = normal relation between couple before married.

sLapshock

Mind you, Happy Affair im talking about invole Sexual Relationship. Its not platonic affair.

Wait, let me make this clear, the type of affair im talking about is just like marriage but without a "wedding knot"

blastoff

if you are unhappy in marriage then get a divorce laa , why wait and suffer ?? If you love someone so much then get married laa , no need for an affair lah .

my-alja

Originally posted by blastoff at 16-1-2008 08:17 PM
if you are unhappy in marriage then get a divorce laa , why wait and suffer ?? If you love someone so much then get married laa , no need for an affair lah .

exactly lahh....

Agul

I don't think that many people opt for co-living in Malaysia...

It's against tradition, religion and societal norm... Much hassle, legally, child care etc..

Maybe in the future, I don't know...

I think I got gamophobia...

ninoZ

i choose :
or

LostSoul

i would choose to stay, and wait until the marriage be happy again.. and it will, because it started with happiness.. too optimistic? well, that's just me..

pdi76

If both valid or not??   unhappy marriage n having affair at same time...the affair is to get away from the unhappy marriage...

sLapshock

mak bapak tungkus lumus beli dumex..




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no offensive post please...

[ Last edited by  Agul at 18-1-2008 12:43 AM ]

blastoff

Originally posted by sLapshock at 17-1-2008 11:25 AM
banyak jugak yang bengap dan tak reti baca arahan. sesia mak bapak tungkus lumus beli dumex.. dah besar bengap

no one in here is bengap , they just don't share your views / opinions and they see things in a different light , that's all . You need to learn to appreciate people around you rather than hurling insulting words whenever things don't go your way . Learn to manage your anger first before you want to start any discussion in here ok because I do believe the mods in here are all civilised people and won't tolerate such attitude .

pesona1

  agreed...

btw, kalau ada pilihan ke 3 i prefer to choose - happy marriage. rasanya semua org pun sama. tapi kalau dah 2 pilihan tu je yang ada, so my answer is the first one.. unhappy marriage. sekurang-kurangnya dah pasti 'halal'nya hubungan tu. dan lebih penting tuhan redha...

hamizao

If only we could choose............When we get married we always believe that we are ready for the commitment and would live happily ever after. If we know that we are not going to be happy, I don't think we would get married.

The trouble with affairs is they rarely last. My take on the "affair" here is the one outside marriage. You may be single or married to someone else. If you are single that's not going to be much  of a problem depending on your customs and tradition. But if you are already married, this means you are living a lie.............it would  stifle you eventually.

Personally I cannot choose any of them.

Agul

Please, slapshock.

Most poster here don't go around insulting each other... we are too gentle. It has always been like this.

If you like brutality, there are better board like ci, politics or religion board. It's war over there.

Hope to see you around. Let us all be nice around each other...

On a personal note, I really appreciate爌eople爃ere爏ince爐hey燼re爒ery爊ice燼nd燾orteous爐oward爀ach爋ther.爀ven爓hen燿isagreeing.

Bless you.

[ Last edited by  Agul at 18-1-2008 12:42 AM ]

Agul

this could be interesting...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Commitment Phobia - An Overview

By Paul Douglass, D.Hyp. MIAH. Reg.Hyp. GHR (Affil.)
Harley Street Consultant Psychotherapist and Hypnotherapist

Commitment phobia &#8211; this is the fear and avoidance of having to commit to anything, but especially relationships.

It can express itself in all kinds of different ways, but typically sufferers may exhibit any of these:
Being overly critical of the other partner in the relationship, and/or the relationship as a whole.

Annoying / hurting the other person, thus sabotaging the relationship, even if it&#8217;s considered to be working well.  An example of this, might be consistently turning up late for things &#8211; whether with apologetic excuses, or not.

Being scared of getting noticed, because the other person might want to start a relationship.  In fact, they'll often reject other people from the word go, so that a relationship barely gets off the starting blocks.  The feeling behind this, can be to protect themselves from even the prospect of allowing others&#8217; to get too close.

At the other end of the scale, a commitment phobic, may be flirtatious and appear to want the attentions of other interested parties, desiring even a longer-term physical relationship.  But, eventually the fear can, and often does, win out and the other person gets pushed away, leaving broken hearts in its wake.

Fearing being swamped by others, and thus losing sight of who they feel they really are.

Unable to face or explore the prospects, issues, or thoughts, of living together, or getting married.

Some commitment phobics may want to find Mr or Miss Right and get married, but will often have somewhat unrealistic &#8216;ideals&#8217; over possible suitors.  Often friends and relatives notice and will often make comments like: 'you're being too picky', and &#8216;Mr/Miss Perfect&#8217; just doesn&#8217;t exist.'

Sometimes they'll fall in love with other people who just aren&#8217;t interested in forming an intimate relationship.  The reasoning behind this can be that the commitment phobic has, (deliberately, or otherwise), chosen a person who can&#8217;t/won&#8217;t, form a lasting relationship, and so they are &#8216;safe&#8217; from having to make that long-term commitment.

There is also the type of sufferer who enters a relationship, can&#8217;t commit, then leaves at some point, only to return sometime later, before leaving yet again.  This yo-yoing can happen time and time again leaving hurt, bewilderment and distrust in its wake.

There can be the avoidance of having to commit to anything.  This can also involve jobs, tasks, timekeeping, as well as personal relationships / friendships.  Interestingly, it can even involve undertaking treatment for the commitment phobia itself.

The causes of this phobia can be many and varied, but often it starts in childhood, and can sometimes be associated with a loss, or trauma, of some kind, possibly parental separation, divorce, or bereavement.

Another possibility, is that the child might have witnessed, or been a victim of, poor role models, or even abusive relationships during those formative years.

Not surprisingly, this can (consciously, or unconsciously) colour the way they feel and take part in relationships as an adult, too.

Often, at the fear's root, will be a fear of loss, or rejection, by others.  The subconscious feels, that if it happened once before, it could happen again.  Guilt, too, can play its part.

To avoid this pain, there will be some kind of distancing from others, in order to 'protect' themselves and to keep some semblance of control.

Document Ref: E004
Date Added: 08-Apr-05
Source: Paul Douglass D.Hyp. MIAH. Reg.Hyp. GHR (Affil.)
Further Information: www.pauldouglass.co.uk - (UK) 020 7467 8385

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from here,

http://www.stickyplaster.com/Pub ... a_overview_E004.htm

hamizao

Agree! Sometimes questions/topic can also be soo...bengap(?) but we still try to discuss it such that we still share  our personal thoughts. At least that's what this ...Thinking, Brain....Board is all about.

[ Last edited by  hamizao at 18-1-2008 02:00 PM ]

mbhcsf

if we could  recast the question to Encik Darren Hayes, apa jawabnya?

personally , i want a healthy, functional,meaningful relationship and partnership in this context.

Agul

Darren who?

The singer?

hamizao

Would agree with you there. My observation is among others, those avoiding commitment to a relationship are likely to have grown in an environment where they see their parents having bad experience with their commitment towards one another or where in-laws became such  a threat or an additional front to reckon with. As the result these people do not see much point in getting into a commitment in the first place. This may also result in them being over critical of others and in trying not to attract others they tend to be annoying etc.

Agul

I could see it in my life. Many time I have act aloof, arrogant and detached. Rejecting the many loves that comes by my way...