Mengupas perasaan isteri/suami yang ada affair

kaknoo

Biasa lah tajuk-tajuk panas ni J

Katakan suami ada affair dengan perempuan lainkan...pastu isteri dapat tahu...lepas tu suami mengaku and till then suami bercerita pada isteri pasal girlfriend dia tu..but not to the extend untuk kawin ..

Suami share his story with his wife sebab dia kata dia nak jujur dengan isteri *tapi hati isteri, Allah je tau*...

Suami kata his relationship with his girlfriend will be over but he needs time to release her匸/color]

Soalan pada suami2 kat sini ?..

Can he be trusted if he still contacting her, and all the loving words is still in the conversation匸/color]

Soalan pada isteri2 kat sini ?

Berapa lama anda dapat bertahan makan hati..betul at the same time we try to distract his attention from his girlfriend, but the fact, it still hurting deep inside if suddenly all those things pop-up in your mind匸/color]


**kisah benar ni..bukan cam viter GG2..

--just my 0.001 cent--

nazijo

Soalan pada suami2 kat sini ?..

Can he be trusted if he still contacting her, and all the loving words is still in the conversation

bakawali_04

susahnyer nak jawab ekk.. berdasarkan dari pengalaman sendiri.. bila benda dah jadi bukan senang nak hadapi.. nak terima.. n nak lupakan.. mungkin its take time.. tapi depends juga pada perubahan hubby.. kalau betul2 dia mmg berubah as he said.. kenalah kasi peluang.. but kalau repeated.. sendiri kena ingat la...

raidah

Waduh..hangat Kak Noo( though this is not new) . I have been through that many times, many times... believe me!. Nothing wud stop men and women from having affairs especially in this world wide web. Believe me, he wont stop smpai ler tuhan ambik nikmat nak menaip dan bercakap or taubat nasuha. Selagi tu dorang ni akan menipu dan menipu.

cantthinkofany

trust dari segi aper kaknoo ...

trust yang dia akan menjalankan tanggungjawab dier di rumah sebagai suami...hanya isteri yang dapat menjawabnya kerana isteri yang merasa

trust yang dia akan menjalankan tanggungjawab dier di rumah sebagai ayah...hanya anak-anak yang dapat menjawabnya kerana anak yang merasanya

trust yang dia tidak akan menghubungi gf dier....selagi tanggungjawab pada isteri dan anak tak luak...nothing much you can do about it....nak complaint?...based on what...based on assumption yang tak de bukti?.....buat aperla nak menyemakkan otak on things that we can't control...masuk jer dalam kelab abe aji...luahkan segala lara dalam jiwa....

a relationship especially marriage are bertunjangkan trust...and trust can only be destroyed based on bukti yang nyata...bukan assumption....bukan gut feeling...bukan dari citer orang....

if lu memang dah tak nampak yang perkara tu masih berterusan...then trust your husband coz he has put a trust in you by mengaku yang dia ada affair sebelum...cheap thrill....he has trust you to understand his situation and he has trust you to trust him....it's not easy actually for the husband to confess especially if he did not trust the wife....what if the wife mengamuk and bawak lari anak-anak?...what if the wife minta cerai...what if the wife mogok?....so his trust on you has compensate his fear and thus he confess....

without trust...you can never live in peace...setan sentiasa mendekati manusia yang penuh ngan rasa was-was....so tutp semua jalan untuk setan menggoda...lebih baik gunakan teknik menggoda tu pada husband so that he can totally ignore the chances of having another affair or continuing with the old affair....

FITRYNNE

korang percaya tak, kalau aku kata, sampai satu waktu, wife akan rasa dah immune, dah rasa cam tak kuasa dah dah menangis2 bagai, and start to ignore everything about the affair, eventhough, tahu2 jelah hati kat dalam (sape tak sayang laki woooo!)...kalau jodoh tu panjang, yes...go thru with it,  kalau takde...anak2 and family kan ada...tapi yang penting..tanggungjawab wife still dijalankan.  Lagipun bagi aku,  berapa lama la kita ni bleh hidup, kalau nak menjeruk rasa ngan prangai hubby...manusia nih...dia takkan sedar apa yg dia ada sehingga la dia kehilangan....

I've been there, perit tapi hati ngan semangat kene kuat....sometime, adakala terkucil gak...mengadu la pada yang satu...

cherub

Advice For Cheaters and Their Partners

If you have repeatedly cheated, or are the partner of a cheater and can't seem to forgive or break off the unhealthy relationship, Dr. Phil has advice.

Cheaters:

Look at the statistics.
The chance of a successful relationship born of infidelity is not even one in 100. A marriage that starts in infidelity has no foundation. You go into it with guilt, shame, angst, worry, and all the baggage that comes with that. Add to that managing your ex and going through possible custody battles for children. Is it worth it?

Think of the children.
If you have children and you are cheating on your spouse, your children will suffer. You are turning their lives upside down, fracturing their family unit and destroying their peace and harmony.

Think ahead to what the courts might think of you as a parent. You may think your partner wouldn't fight you on custody, but people change when they get into a divorce court. Your spouse might just decide that the person who stole his/her partner will not steal the children as well. If you enter the divorce arena in the midst of infidelity, you have put your children in play. Again, ask yourself, is it worth it?

If the person you are having an affair with is married with children, ask yourself, "What right do I have to fracture his/her family unit in which innocent children are growing every day, just to feed my need?"

Be honest with yourself.
Is the unfaithfulness over with? Moving forward, do you absolutely and unequivocally have nothing to hide? You'll never get past this until you start being drop-dead honest. Remember, the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. If you don't think you can stop on your own, get professional help.

Be honest with your partner.
By not being honest with yourself and your partner, you're doing nothing but perpetuating the deception. If you know that you will continue to be unfaithful, and if you really care about your partner, you will let him/her go and get yourself some help.

Accept responsibility.
Have the decency to tell your spouse in all honesty and candor that you own your choices. You're the one who ran this relationship off in the ditch. This had nothing to do with your partner. If you want to fix your marriage, you have to accept responsibility and do whatever it takes to earn your partner's trust back one step at a time.

Assess your commitment level.
Are you committed enough to your partner in order to do the work necessary in order to repair the relationship? However long it takes to get this relationship back on the road, is however long you need to work at it.

Behave your way to success.
Keep in mind, you can no longer be in contact with the person you were having an affair with. Avoid the places you know he/she frequents, change your phone numbers, and if you're unsure of your strength in staying away from him/her, then move. If you're so out of control that you're like a moth to a flame, then get away from the candle!

Turn toward your partner.
When your life or relationship becomes rocky and affects your sexual relationship, that is the time you should turn toward your partner, not away from him/her because of your sexual needs.

Re-engineer your life.
If you are a sex addict, and you really want to change this, it's not a quick fix. It's an entire reengineering of your life, values, beliefs, thoughts, conduct and emotions. It's about deconstructing your life, and reconstructing your future. Unless you get professional help, you're going to continue to victimize everybody who you touch because you're controlled by your impulses rather than your values.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If You Are Being Cheated On:

Get real.
The best predictor of future behavior is relevant past behavior. What do you predict? If your partner has cheated on you repeatedly and now swears he/she will stop, what are the chances that this is true? You can't change what you don't acknowledge. Isn't there a point at which you say, "I deserve better. My children deserve better. He/She may not have any boundaries, but I do. And my boundaries say, 'You either treat me with integrity, dignity and respect or you don't treat me at all'?" Stand up for yourself and for your children. You've given your power away and you've got to get it back.

This is not your fault.
Stop beating yourself up about this. You have got to know that this has nothing to do with you. You are not the one who made the decision to break your commitment to your partner and cheat. You have nothing to do with your partner making the immature, inappropriate, self-destructive choice to turn away from you to someone else.

What is your payoff?
Do you want to get past this? Or is there a payoff you receive from the situation? Do you enjoy playing the victim or subjecting your partner to a life sentence? Do you fear that if you forgive a partner who truly is remorseful and has changed his/her behavior that you are "letting them get away with it?"

Assess your commitment level.
You can either handle being vulnerable with your partner again or you can't. And if you can't, you need to get out of this relationship and move on. And if you can, then you need to let him/her earn the trust back and start putting this relationship together again.

Consider the consequences.
If you have children, your decision will affect them as well. You do have responsibility here for what you do next. You have to make a decision about whether or not justice is best served by allowing your partner to re-earn your trust, or if it's better not to subject your family any longer to the current situation.

Decide if you can choose to forgive.
Forgiveness is a choice. It doesn't mean what your partner did is OK. How much you trust your partner is in part about what your partner does, and in part a function of whether you have confidence to handle it if he/she disappoints you. If you find out that he/she strays again, can you handle that?

If you can't forgive, let go.
When you choose the behavior, you choose the consequences. If you continue to throw this in your partner's face, you will eventually run him/her off. Ask yourself if this is going to be a life sentence for your partner. Can you heal from this and forgive? If not, don't continue to live in anger and/or be with someone who causes you pain.

raidah

mmm bunyi mcm senasib je kita yer... i pun fikir yg sama ..dah 7 tahun laki i giler chatting and lyn pompuan dlm chatting. mula2 menangis marah mcm nk giler... skrg i ckp jer...hai bertaubat la sebelum terlambat

wifeorg

come on adulterers...fess up! kita nak tau ni. korang segan, tukar nick..apa susah. we need to understand why u do it, how u do it, when u do it and the consequences of ur action. so tht perhaps we also can look out for the signs and prevent/or abstain from comitting an adulterous relationship. u fikir tht when u share here, it's a lesson for the rest of us. sure ada yg ngutuk bagai...so what....they bukan kenal korang pun.

norsha

trust manusia nie bersifat sementara..

adalah lebih bermakna untuk put trust in God...trust God will give the best for regardless of what other people do to you..

mmg it hurts bila kita tahu partner kita ada/penah ada affair ... tapi jgn biarkan hati yg sakit tu menguasai diri kita..banyak2kan baca Quran, zikir..

so..back to your question..can u still trust the partner yg penah curang? yes, sb dia suami u...tapi at the same time, put 100% trust yg Allah akan melindungi sekiranya your hubby berbuat inaya pada u..

berapa lama sanggup bertahan makan hati? x perlu makan hati jika u berusaha untuk ubatkan hati u yg luka tu..scar mungkin ada...tapi dgn pengalaman nie, akan mengajar u, yg cinta dan kasih sayang manusia MUNGKIN tak kekal abadi..tapi cinta kepada Allah kekal..so, bercinta la dgn Allah..insyaAllah, Allah akan ubatkan luka u..

kaknoo

Cantthink of any..


Its not my story actually, but thanks for your positive opinion..

But the affair is not over yet, still progressing..just the matter of gettingover it..why?..because the husband said ..since it involves 2 to tango, so he said he is also responsible to be blamed..not only his girlfriend..


-- just my 0.001 cent --

fifie_olin

betul ke si suami tu leh tinggalkan gf dia tuh...
susahnye la nk percaya..
kalo betul2 dia jujur nape...x britau di awal2 perkenalan dulu..
susah weii nk memaafkan si suami tuh..
senang citer slow talk bertiga...face 2 face..xde rahsia2 lg..
br puas ati..

orkit

aku lom kawin lagi.....tp aku salu dengar citer umah tangan yang tak bahagia cam ni......

buat aku rasa takut je nak kawin la.....

bukan semua org boleh sabar dalam keadaan yang camni.....

midori88

kalu aku, aku blame kat 3-3 org skali..laki tuh, gf dia dan jugak wife dia..

Laki tu psl dia dah tau kedudukan dia, tapi masih lagi nak ada affair
Gf tu psl dia dah tau laki tu ada bini dia masih lagi nak ada affair ngan laki tuh
Wife tu psl layanan ataupun perangai dia menyebabkan laki tu nak carik lain..

Kuman seberang laut senang jer nampak, tapi gajah kat depan mata...tak plak nampak...nie semua..bcoz org ada ego, disebabkan hal nie org susah nak nampak salah sendiri..

So ke3-3 pihak nie kenalah muhasabah diri...jgn harap org lain jer wat camtu..

FITRYNNE

aku dah masuk 10 tahun...dah immune...yang penting skang anak aku...betul la apa cherub tulis tu...once a cheater always be a cheater....tu prangai dari sekolah dulu, sampai skang  tak ubah2...lagi ko korek rahsi dia, lagi ko rasa sakit ati...worth it ker...aku bio jek...itu aku...owang lain...lain ler...

adiraa

sebenarnya susah nak mengupas perasaan suami/isteri yang ada affair..

bagi me senang aje, kalau suami nak ada affair ke nak ada apa2 hubungan ngan pihak ketiga... i x kisah... sebabnya i boleh survive kalau ditakdirkan bersendirian.... sbb dah malas nak dengar masalah suami isteri yang x kesudahan...... hanya berserah pada tuhan dan takdir supaya suami yang diahugerahkan tu seorang suami yang soleh.....

FITRYNNE

ko ada pengalaman? kalau tak, aku rasa better you reserve the comment,  tak kene tak tahu woooo....camana rase dier....

Bugger

dat kinda relationship is forbidden. Once it is fulfilled the two persons involved are in illlegal matrimony..wat comes around goes around...praise to allah yaaaa

jofizo

arrrr sakit jiwa la.........

raidah

hehehe seronok plak jwb menjwb ni...
betul tu Rynne, lucky that kita dah sampai stage yg terima jer peel dia hahaha.

life is short, kang sibuk2 marah kat dia (marah tetap marah ler, takkan lupa),
baik ler kita ambik kesempatan masa badan sihat make sure anak2 berjaya, kumpul duit byk2, bykkan ibadat (kalau dulu Quran tu jadi perhiasan skrg ilang la sikit habuk2nya).

Dalam otak kepala ni mmg dah give up nk tunggu dia berubah, harap kasihkan anak2... tunggu ler dorang besar... gue mau pigi makan angin jauhhhhh.

Ustaz yg counselling I (over the phone )selalu ckp...dugaan ..ingat anak2 tu. Entah ler kekawan , counselling tu je la depa akan ckp hahaha