Reply 60# sisakitati
setau saya, dlm islam puan kena sabar & redha saja. suami puan bukannya suruh puan menjual badan utk mencari nafkah.
once puan dah stuck dgn suami camni, telan sajalah.. nak cerai bukan senang.
Reply 60# sisakitati
action speaks louder than words.
most lelaki ego. n mcm aku, teramat ego... :lol:
aku cuma mendengar nasihat org yg more successful, more experience, more intelligent, more everything..
for me there are no way of working together side-by-side. (aku bukannya vcredist.msi, vcrt90.dll, vcrt80.dll, java pun aku x install)
one must lead, one must follow. time aku lead, aku set the best requirement, time aku follow, aku try to give the best to comply given the requirement.
suggestion: instead of buat party buih ngan hasben..
try, collect gambar2/info umah/office/interior design/hardare simpan dlm hardisk. bantu husben carik info, buat paperwork (invoices, receipts, proposals, designs, etc.) at the same time, promote hasben punya expertise kat kengkawan online n offline. tunjukkan anda betul2 mengharapkan dia berjaya (bukan hanya mengharapkan hasil drpd kejayaan itu sahaja). dari situ baru bleh meluahkan logical/realistic suggestion.
kalau tengok bangsa yg berjaya berniaga... hasben bukak workshop. bini pun dia taruk dlm workshop. hasben bukak kedai runcit. bini pun ada dlm kedai runcit. laki tanam kacang, bini jual kacang. bukan stakat bini, anak2 pun diorg angkut skali. mula2 kecik. bila dah beratus tahun, jadi besar. shopping, jenjalan.. abaikan je.. biarlah anak cucu yg menikmati kejayaan tersebut (most lelaki akan pikir mcm nie)
giveup = total failure
contoh lain.. kwsn perumahan banyak indon, bangla, etc. pastu memasing (malaysian) pindah umah. carik kwsn lain. instead of 90% pendatang asing, dah jadi 100% pendatang asing. siapa malaysian yg akan mempertahankan kwsn tersebut?
kalau ckp je mmg x jln... especially kalau pompuan yg ckp + emosi + nafsu (shopping, jenjalan, etc)... pergh...
selamat mencuba!
ps: cuba n gagal x pe. jgn gagal x cuba..
Reply 61# andartoo
isshh...mana blh sabar n redha saje darling??kedua dua belah pihak mesti memainkan peranan..nampak gaya cite TT ni mcm dia jer yg byk memainkan peranan..ntah la..kdg2 kita hanya dpt mendengar tapi bila terkena kat diri sendir maunyer jatuh terjelepok mengenang nasib..tapi TT kena kuatkan semangat jika bukan utk husband tapi utk anak2.
semalam kami pi rumah kawan..
kawan karib laki me asal kaya tau,
ialah uruskan pelaburan org, sekali rezeki hilang, anak yg duk sek private
terpaksa pi sek publiclah...
lepas tu dia bukak syarikat mengecat, awal awal cam maju business..
sekarang hilang client... so hilang lagi rezeki..
bini dia keja... so laki dia dah hilang client, hilanglah punca pendapatankan..
me tanya laki apa luc nak buat sekarang..
laki kata apa lagi cari kejalah, luc kata dia tak kisah keja apa pun asal ada keja
dapat tanggung family..
napa tak teruskan aje dengan business, adakah dia mengaku kalah
sampai nak keja dengan orang pulak sekarang.. ialah teruskan usaha mencari client itu ini
dan bini keja support semua..
laki jawab, luc is a pride man.. dia takkan makan hasil bini dia..
so me teringat cita TT pasal laki nya...
slaki jawab, luc is a pride man.. dia takkan makan hasil bini dia..
faraway1 Post at 5-4-2011 05:10 http://forum.cari.com.my/images/common/back.gif
sayangnya zaman skrg dah terbalik :'(:dizzy:
sayangnya zaman skrg dah terbalik
ruffleen Post at 4-4-2011 20:13 http://mforum3.cari.com.my/images/common/back.gif
zaman di malaysia, yepp
sini.. well atleast kawan yg me cita... tidak..
dia sanggup keja dengan orang asalkan
dia boleh tanggung family dia..
Org melayu ni lembut hati... tu pasal suami selalu takesi isteri for granted.
Well babe, I dulu share perbelanjaan rumah.But since dia dah kawin lagi, i tak buat lagi.He tanggung everything from groceries to utilities, holidays, to even my shopping spree.I keluar duit when I go to pasar basah and the rest of my money, I nak shopping ke nak simpan ke, nak beli barang for home ke, its my money.I dah jadik mcm shopaholic, just nak ubat hati I ni.Hopefully I will stop that soon and start serious savings. Anyway, I belum hati kering betul, planning overseas holiday i offer bayar tiket.But everything else dia tanggung.
substitute egyptian with malay... :lol:
Upbringing
110% Mama's Boy and proud of it. In Egyptian society, a boy is, in every which way, considered superior to a girl. The sun sets and rises on him, and his feelings of superiority are only increased if he is an only son, or is born after a long number of years 'trying for a boy' or after a couple of girls.
As a child, he is not expected to help clean up, organize his room, or basically do any chores. His little sister does, picking up the orange juice cups while he watches cartoons.
The Egyptian mother-son relationship is very freaky. Not oedipal, but still. His mother does everything for him from the day he is born to at least the day he leaves her house to get married. 30 years old and still living with his mom, who washes his boxers and folds them just the way he likes it? No worries. Oh, and she'll continue doing stuff for him after you get married. No girl is good enough for her baby boy, and everything you do will be compared to her. She is giving up her son to you and he is so used to being treated with unconditional love that he will rarely think he's wrong.
He is taught that playing around, flirting, and even sleeping around is ok for guys, not ok for girls. There are double standards in everything and women simply can't do what men do.
Nurture, not nature. Likewise, he grows up seeing the way his mother and sisters are treated and comes to feel that women are intellectually inferior, dependant, and not equal to men.
Even if he is educated and open-minded and realizes that this is not true, he will still occasionally suffer from The "Si el-sayed" mentality:
Si El sayed is one of Naguib Mahfouz's famous characters through which he managed to embody the characteristics of the Egyptian man at that time. He surrounded him with an aura of respect, glory and reverence, which is what man used to be. As a husband, he was a decision-maker and as a father he was a god-like figure. He was convinced that just his title "the man of the house" i.e. the one responsible for the family, assumes his absolute authority and blind obedience in return.
The husband – wife relationship was based on suppression on his part and mere surrender on hers. He orders and she submits. Although Mahfouz wrote this novel long ago, influenced by the social conditions prevailing at that time, and in spite of the fact that such conditions have been changed as a result of the major shift in social norms, the novel still represents the real character of the Egyptian man even after being polished by claimed modernity.
So no matter how modern, educated, progressive, liberal etc the Egyptian man thinks he is, this is what he really wants to be. And this is what he wants his women to be like
If he's poor he's uncouth, thinks women are play things, and is taught that women are to be treated only slightly better than children. Their role is house servant, sex slave and mother.
If he's rich, then he usually thinks better of women. Unfortunately, he's usually spineless and spoiled. Daddy's money has made him lazy. He's 'westernized' in a negative sense—let's drink and party and be merry but not work hard.
In a Relationship
Control is the name of the game. He is taught that if he is not in control, if he isn't domineering, he has lost his dick. "A ship without one captain is doomed to sink" is the saying we hear over and over again.
And therefore, he will put you down, belittle you, cut you down to size, point out your flaws, and make you believe it's always your fault. He believes that if he gives an inch you'll take a mile and emasculate him.
He does not compromise. If he does he'll never let you forget it.
It is always the woman's fault.
He is taught from an early age never to cry or show weakness. Real men do not cry and are never hurt. They are always strong, strong, strong. That doesn't mean he's not emotional, oh heck no! He is very very emotional and moody. They love love love intensely and hate hate hate intensely. Roller coaster emotions.
Marriage
He is looking for:
o A mozza, hot babe.
o Preferably stupid.
o Virgin from a good family. Even if he's slept with half of Cairo.
o Preferably docile and submissive and not very educated.
o Financially and possibly emotionally dependent.
o Otta eyonha me'afela (a kitten with closed eyes) i.e. naïve and unworldly.
o Can cook and clean and take care of a house and be content. Great mother.
o Preferably no job or a 'hobby' job which he 'allows' her.
o A woman who is impressed by everything he does and whose world revolves around him.
He does not believe marriage is a partnership.
He thinks it's better to marry a woman who is 'less' than him in every way so she keeps thinking he is a God and he doesn't have to work hard to impress her.
Expects you to be gorgeous all the time. He on the other hand, can get fat and ugly and it's ok because "may'ebesh el ragel ela gebo"
The romance was only until you married her. Once you have her, khalas. That's it, she's stuck forever.
No matter what he does the woman must accept it. This message is still perpetuated to this very day. Just watch the latest movie by 'comedy' actor Mohamad Henedy—he is an ugly, short, strict, unromantic, unsophisticated penniless man with nothing to offer a famous, beautiful singer. And yet she gives up her entire life for him to go live in a one room cottage in the village. What message is that sending men? But let's not get sidetracked…
So why would a woman put up with an Egyptian man treating her like shit after marriage? Because she is usually dependent on him and divorced women in Egypt are treated as if they have the plague.
So he can be an ass and you'll put up with it because you have kids, you don't have money, and you'll only get married to a worse man if you divorce him. And so, dependent women are best of all. An educated, intelligent, independent woman with thoughts and a life of her own and who doesn't have to put up with your crap? Stay far, far, away. She probably suffers from penis envy anyway.
He uses religion as an excuse to control you even if he's never prayed a prayer in his life: "I'll marry another woman, it's my Islamic right."
If you work, he won't encourage you and will suggest you are a bad mother for leaving your kids to work.
Once upon a time, if a man was poor, he was frustrated that he could not provide for his family, since that was his role. Now, however, many Egyptian men are content to marry rich women and have her family spend money on them.
If he's not poor but rich, then eventually he resents the woman taking taking taking. He is expected to pay for everything and from the way he was raised, he doesn't think what she does (giving birth, raising kids, taking care of the home) means anything.
And if he is rich, unlike so many Egyptian men, he thinks you should be grateful—so many other women would die for a guy like him.
The house is completely the woman's responsibility as are the kids, even if she contributes money to the house.
If he's rich enough to get you a maid and you don't work, then he thinks you do nothing.
If you're poor it's even worse because you do everything around the house and sometimes work but still have to make him feel he is the be-all and end-all.
He comes home from work and wants you to greet him all dressed up, kiss him, massage his feet, and have the kids be quiet and angelic.
He'll then grouch about how the food isn't like his mom's ad neither is the way his boxers are folded etc etc.
He'll then go out with his friends, and is annoyed when you do the same.
Oh, Egyptian men, what can I say?
Disclaimer: I am generalizing and being sarcastic here and only mentioning the many, many flaws of Egyptian men. Egyptian men do, of course, have many many good character traits. I can't think of any right now, but they do exist. And likewise, Egyptian women have many, many flaws too. So don't bite my head off!
http://fattractive.wordpress.com/2009/01/14/ze-egybitian-man/
Semua perbelanjaan di rumah laki aku tanggung, memang tu arrangement kitaorang sejak sebelum kawin. Agak2 bila duit dlm acc dia tinggal sikit, baru aku start kuar duit belanja. Tu yang dulu mak aku pesan.
I guess I memang kedekut wiv my money. Semalam my doter mintak bapak dia beli cincin (dah masuk alam teenager, teringin nak bergaya). Aku tanya pesal tak mintak dgn mak? Dia kata mak suka beli murah2 jer.... sabo je la aku
dulu b4 divorce mg my ex hubby yg tanggung sume..wpun i keje.pas tu keje dia pun ok n mg sikap dia womanizer sibuk perabih duit kat betina..bila x de duit mintak kat i..n bila i dah x sabar pernah satu hari dia mintak RM50 kat i..dgn bangganyer i campak jer duit tu kat lantai n i ckp 'klu u x malu n laki dayus kutip la duit gaji i tu yg nak sgt kan'..hangin satu bdn dia pas tu dia just blah mcm tu jer..punya la tercabar ego dia..dia x kutip pun duit tu..selamat duit i..
Post Last Edit by guesswho09 at 6-4-2011 19:55
sori la TT... bagi aku laki ngko ni pemalas... tak da disiplin
itu sbb tak leh keje makan gaji
typical org melayu berbisnes jenis masuk opis pukul 12 kah laki engko ni? :lol: kalau ikutkan gaji RM 7k tu bkn byk sgt pun
kalau dah tak leh pikul tanggungjwab yg bergaji RM7k
aku rasa lagi ngko ni mmg tk layak kawin
wat malu org jantan je lah... perangai mcm ni
Org melayu ni lembut hati... tu pasal suami selalu take si isteri for granted.
vuvuzela999 Post at 5-4-2011 09:48 http://mforum4.cari.com.my/images/common/back.gif
nanti tak tolong suami... dikata tak taat... tak leh masuk syurga..ko :lol:
so kena sabarr...sampai beruban ;P
dulu b4 divorce mg my ex hubby yg tanggung sume..wpun i keje.pas tu keje dia pun ok n mg sikap dia w ...
mummy75 Post at 5-4-2011 12:02 http://mforum4.cari.com.my/images/common/back.gif
hahaha... i likeeee... :lol:
acik2 FD... sila baca ni ye...
jgn jadi mcm lembu cucuk idung sgt ngan jantan :laugh3: :P
Reply 74# guesswho09
mg kena ajar jantan jenis mcm ni..coz dia tau dia ada back up klu nak mintak duit coz bini keje..i have fren yg lakinyer konon2 bisnes la pas tu madukan my fren ni plak..n d best part is madu dia tu gaji lagi byk dari my fren..biasa la klu melayu buat bisnes..byk ckp dari buat keje..habuk pun tarak..kesian sgt my fren tu.hutang dah keliling pinggang...laki buat bodoh jer.dia pernah datang umah i just nak mengadu nasib.i ckp la 'laki ko tu ko kena ajar sket.cuba jgn lembik dgn laki'..u know what she did..she resinged from her job n now jadi babysitter..faham2 jer la klu dah x de fix income tu duit pun sket jer..now i x tau la apa citer dia.ingat smlm after work nak singgah umah dia tapi hujan plak..tgk la esok2 ker i g umah dia nak update cite.i paling pantang klu laki mintak duit bini..huissshhh..hangin wooo
Reply 1# sisakitati
....berenti nak bisnes sendiri
.....laki aku ni bukan malas keje cuma sgt memilih keje
dia hanya nak keje yg serasi dgn jiwa dia je
...bukannya setahun 2 dok sabar ni...dah 5 tahun dok gini
sian kat tt..sbb sanggup btahan selama 5 thn..kalau i entah2 5 bln dah carik rumah sewa sendirik..hu..hu...
setiap kali dengar alasan para lelaki yg cam gud2..jenis kata tak boleh keje bwh org lain..jenis tak leh keje yg bukan minat dia..bla..bla..senang cakap mmg cam bagussss lah..
cuba selidik dan tanya latar belakang dia..
mana tahu mak pak dia ada wat fd nama hubi..dlm setengah juta ker..
ataupun cuba selidik..abg nih drp kuarga sapa?
adakah abg ada kena mgena dgn tan sri syed mokhtar albukhary..?
ataupun abg mgkin ada bau2 bacang dgn kuarga arwah tan sri nasimuddin..
ataupun mana2 konglomerat melayu yg berjaya..
mgkin prinsip somi tt tu sgtlah bersesuaian dgn keadaan bckground dia..
mana tahu..ada serpihan2 project or post2 tertinggi di dlm co sedara2 tadik tuh..
yg boleh diisi oleh somi tt..since somi tt sgt kuat prinsipnya..
tp..kalau somi tt ckp tak de kena mgena dgn org2 camtuh..
maka katakan pd dia..sila bpijak di bumi nyata okay...
be realistic..
kalau dasar org2 cikai..tp ada hati ..bprinsip cam gud2 sgt..
pleaselah..anak binik nak hidup lah..nak makan minum cam org lain jugak..
prinsip cam tuh hanya alasan nak melepas tgjwb jerrr..
agar tt dgn rela hati mgalas tgjwb..sambil memberi sokongan padu pd sorang somi yg bciri seorg jutawan..hartawan..yg tak mgkin mgalah pd kuasa & arahan manusia lelain..maka berbanggalah jika tt tpilih sbg salah seorg isteri yg bsomikan lelaki yg mpunyai prinsip yg sgt 'pure'..
pleaselah...suruh somi yg bprinsip cam bagus2..cermin diri sendiri lah..
somi yg baik..akan ttp mcari rezeki dgn hasil titik peluhnya..walau dgn apa cara sekalipun..
hilang ego, tak endah maruah dicalar..buang malu..asalkan anak isteri terisi keperluannya..
wpun ketika sedang hendak menjadi jutawan..atau sebelum jadi betul2 jutawan, tak pelah kalu tpaksa kutip kotak dulu..
tp sori to say..kalau wife yg jenis tegas sgt..mmg payah kot nak bsomi yg akan bstatus jutawan..sbb jenis tak supportive..dan mudah mgalah..:$
sshnye mcm ni, doa la byk2.. kn ade doa lembutkan hti suami,.. dulu ckgu skola aku ade ajar.
kepada TT...mohon hapdet keadaan anda skrg...senyap jer???laki u mcm mana?ada ke perubahan dlm r/tangga TT?
Replykhayzl
bnyk bini2 masih dgn style lama....malu2 dan takut nak belanja
sebab ingat kesusahan dedulu....kelak, laki akan carik orang lain to spend
percayalah....i've seen around....:laugh3:
my-alja Post at 29-3-2011 19:21 http://mforum.cari.com.my/images/common/back.gif
awak pakai lotion harga berapa? ;P
Boleh guarantee ke pasangan tak cari lain?:$
Reply 22# sisakitati
Nape i rasa situasi ahkak ni cam sama jer ngan situasi my officemate?? ke ahkak ni officemate sy??hehe.
Nwayz, lelaki ni kekadang ego x bertempat..harap wife jer berkorban utk dia..wife klu berkorban sanggup bwk bekal ari2 gi opis, no new clothes, makeup, NOTHING!!xde maknenye nk bersosial tgk wayang, pakai mahal2, naik gunung bagai..
Berkorban berpada2 jgn sampai terkorban..