- LaWaK HiLaNG CeMuiH -

jj · Post time 4-6-2006 10:53 AM

Originally posted by 7276 at 4-6-2006 10:48 AM

tu yg berlambak ebok boh tu...
18sx la tuh...

ebok kopi paste jer...
dia sure tak baca...

ebok kan insan yang kudus....!!

* ebok mana? tak nampak pun ari nie

jj · Post time 4-6-2006 10:53 AM

Originally posted by gambiaq at 4-6-2006 10:47 AM
hang boh lekaih2 lepa tak dan tgk aih...sat g ang padam .. :pmuka::pmuka:

laju ja kalau bab2 camnie....

7276 · Post time 4-6-2006 10:54 AM

dia sibuk nak exam lah... study kot...

gambiaq · Post time 4-6-2006 10:56 AM

Originally posted by jj at 4-6-2006 10:53 AM

laju ja kalau bab2 camnie....

biasa la rakyat malaysia...... laju ja bab2 ni.... sama la mcm isu kahwin mishyar ngn idola pok jen tengelamkan isu letrik naik.....

jj · Post time 4-6-2006 10:56 AM

dia study ngan anak menakan dia...
depa belajaq cakap tamil....!!

7276 · Post time 4-6-2006 10:56 AM

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.

2. An old friend who once saved your life.

3. The perfect man (or) woman you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car.

Think before you continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect dream lover again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer.

He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend, and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the woman of my dreams."

Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box.

jj · Post time 4-6-2006 10:57 AM

Originally posted by gambiaq at 4-6-2006 10:56 AM

biasa la rakyat malaysia...... laju ja bab2 ni.... sama la mcm isu kahwin mishyar ngn idola pok jen tengelamkan isu letrik naik.....

ekekekekeke....
nanti la aku boh....

7276 · Post time 4-6-2006 11:14 AM

Ada 3 ekor binatang masuk AF5 : Lembu, Kancil dan Babi...
Ramaila binatang2 lain pi tgk AF5 ni di Kompleks Zoo Negara..
Bila Lembu nyanyi...ramailah bersorak dan bersms AFUNDI Lembu
Begitu juga dgn kancil...rmai yg meminatinya..
tapi bila Babi menyanyi semua diam dan membaling benda ke arah Babi...

Lagu yang Babi nyanyikan hanyalah: "Kita Serupa"

7276 · Post time 4-6-2006 11:26 AM

Pocong Hantu
Hantu yang berbungkus macam lepat pisang baru masak ni
memang mudah cari kelemahannya. Kita hanya perlu bukak
tali pengikat di atas kepalanya dan tarik kain
balutannya. Sudah tentu dia akan berasa malu kerana
dia tidak pakai apa apa pun, selain kain kapan
pembungkusnya tu.

Langsuir
Hantu Pompuan ni suka pandang muka kita, jadi
beranikan diri anda tenung balik muka dia sambil
jelir-jelir lidah. Kalau tak pun tunjuk cermin muka
kat dia, pasti dia tersipu-sipu malu.

Pontianak
Hantu yang suka ketawa. Kalau terserempak dengan dia,
kita pun mestilah ketawa sama. Kalau boleh kita cuba
mengilai lebih kuat dari dia, tentu dia boring.

Hantu Raya
Hantu ni suka beraya dan suka menyamar jadi tuan dia.
Cara mengalahkannya senang saja, sambutlah hari raya
tiap kali jumpa dia, bagi duit raya, ajak main meriam
buluh, suruh kacau dodol atau jaga lemang. Tentu dia
tak kacau kita sebab banyak kerja dan aktiviti lain
dia nak buat.

Hantu Galah
Hantu n la yang paling tinggi di muka bumi. Kalau
terjumpa dia, kita hendaklah meniarap. Pasti dia tak
perasan kita ada disitu.

Jerangkung
Dia ni ada kulit tapi nipis. Tinggal rangka saja, dan
paling mudah untuk menewaskannya. Kita hanya perlu
tunjal dahinya dengan telunjuk dan lihat gerak-gerinya
mengimbangi badan untuk berdiri tegak.

Toyol
Hantu ni Lagi senang kalau nak kalahkan dia, bagi duit
satu sen berguni-guni..nanti dia ingat duit emas,
lepas tu dia pikul bawak balik bagi tuannya... lepas
tu sah-sah lah dapat penampau Jepun dari tuannya
kerana mana nak tukar duit satu sen banyak2 tu

Hantu Ponteng
Yang ni payah sikit nak cakap sebab, hantu-hantu ni
cam u all lerrr..takder kerja lain asyik ponteng
kerja, lepaih tu nengok e-mail..kekdg plak senyum sorang2......
macam sekarang nih..sah-sah tengah
baca poruml nie..macamana nak jawab..
korang sendiri gak jadik hantu..
jadi bawak-bawaklah buat kerja ... ..

[ Last edited by 7276 at 4-6-2006 11:48 AM ]

7276 · Post time 4-6-2006 11:44 AM

Alkisahnya....

Ada empat orang tengah tunggu lif.

Sorang tu doktor,
Sorang lagi tu engineer,
Yang ketiga tu peguam
Dan yang last sekali tok Imam.

Tengah-Tengah Boring Dok Tunggu Lif Tuh,
Datang Le Sorang Awek Cun Yang Teramat-Amatlah Seksi.

Bila Lif Sampai Semua Orang Pun Naik Le.

Dalam Masa Lif Tu Nak Naik Ke Atas, Tiba-Tiba Elektrik Terputus.
Lif Tu Pun Berhentilah Dengan Tiba-Tiba Dalam Keadaan Gelap
Gelita. Dalam Black Out Tu, Mulalah Ada Salah Sorang Dari Melaun Tu
Gatal Pulak Nak Buat Kurang Ajar Dengan Pompuan Seksi Tu.
Puas Dia Dok Meraba Pompuan Tu Dalam Gelap!
Tiba-Tiba, Elektrik Dah Okay Balik. Pompuan Tu Pun Tengok
Kat Si Engineer, Lepas Tu Kat Si Doktor, Ketiga Kat Si Peguam.
Last Sekali Kat Tok Imam.

Dengan Geramnya Minah Tu Bagi Si Tok Imam Satu Penampar
Jepun Yang Teramatlah Kuat."Heiii, Tua-Tua Bangka Pun Ada Hati
Nak Meraba Lagi Tu !!!"Jerit Si Pompuan Seksi Sambil Menunjuk Bijik
Penumbuknya Kat Muka Tok Iimam Tu..

Soalan : Ngapa Pompuan Tu Sure Gila Tok Imam Tu Yang Buat Dajal?

Kenapa ?
Kenapa ?
Kenapa ?
Kenapa ?
Kenapa ?
Kenapa ?
Kenapa ?
Kenapa ?
Kenapa ?
Kenapa ?
Kenapa ?
Kenapa ?
Kenapa ?
Kenapa ?
Kenapa ?
Kenapa ?
Kenapa ?
Kenapa ?

Kerana Tok Imam Tu Sorang Je Laki!!

Hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pengajarannya, Kalau Cakap Pasal Doktor Ke, Peguam Ke,
Engineer Ke Mesti Orang Akan Ingat Lelaki je Yang Pegang
Jawatan Cam Tu...Pompuan pun bole ma..

7276 · Post time 4-6-2006 11:56 AM

gambiaq · Post time 4-6-2006 12:19 PM

Kebakaran Hutan

Seorang Menteri meninjau kawasan kebakaran hutan yang cukup luas, sehingga menimbulkan kerugian yang agak besar.
Menteri tersebut bertanya kepada salah seorang pegawainya yang berada berhampiran:
"Apa yang menyebabkan kebakaran hutan ini hingga begitu luas sekali?"
"Api, Tuan!", sahut pegawai yang ditanya dengan pantas.

7276 · Post time 4-6-2006 12:23 PM

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

This letter is from Ahmad from Damansara.

We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want
to bring to your notice.

After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever
we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ** appears, but
in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this
problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Sam Ting
Long and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of
this we open the e-mail account with password **. I request you to check
this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.

There is a button 'start' but there is no stop button. Why you have START
button after computer is started anyway? You should put a STOP button. We
request you to check this.

We find there is 'Run' in the menu. After clicking run it shows box asking
where to run. We entered Klang, because we have relatives there who can
catch computer until we come. But the computer replied "Not found"! I think
you must update it with map of Malaysia. Otherwise this RUN command is no
use.

One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only
're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home, so I cannot use the re-cycle
function.

Also there is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost
the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this 'find', but
unable to trace. Is it a bug??

Also I think the computer is very lazy. If nobody plays with it for five
minutes, screen goes blank and shows small windows logo floating on black
screen. Some Ting Long(the vendor) said don't touch anything, and to
restart and see. It worked, but every time screen goes blank I have to
switch the power on and off, which is taking long time to start. Computer
also forgets what it was doing before it went blank. I think this is a serious
backward step for your product. Please make computers more smarter and
active in future.

Thanks,

Cik Mat
Damansara

7276 · Post time 4-6-2006 12:49 PM

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

alahai · Post time 4-6-2006 12:51 PM

Originally posted by 7276 at 4-6-2006 12:49 PM
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see, ...

huh..

alahai · Post time 4-6-2006 12:56 PM

Selsema Burung..

"Doktor," kata seorang ayah melalui telefon, "Anak lelaki saya menderita Selsema Burung."
"Saya tahu,"jawab doktor.
"Semalam saya telah ke rumah anda dan memberinya ubat. Pisahkanlah dia dari semua orang yang ada di rumah."
"Tapi, doktor," kata ayah yang cemas itu.
"Dia telah mencium pembantu rumah kami."
"Kasihan. kalau begitu dia juga perlu dikuarantin."
"Tapi, doktor, saya juga telah mencium pembantu itu."
"Wah, ini rumit. Bererti anda juga sudah menyimpan benih penyakit itu."
"Ya, dan tidak lama setelah itu, saya juga mencium isteri saya."

"Celaka,"jawab doktor, "Kalau begitu saya sudah dijangkiti."

alahai · Post time 4-6-2006 12:59 PM

sorii..ngak sensorr..

alahai · Post time 4-6-2006 01:05 PM

KIPAS

Ketika menaiki sebuah pesawat Nuri ke sebuah kampung orang Asli di Paloh Inai, Pekan, Pahang, seorang pegawai Jabatan Hal Ehwal Orang Asli (JHEOA) berkata: "Panasnya dalam helikopter ini ...". Maka menjawablah salah seorang Orang Asli yang turut berada dalam helikopter itu: "Mahu tak panas tuan ...kipasnya besar ...tapi di luar ..."

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HANDPHONE

Satu ketika di kampung orang asli, seorang pegawai JHEOA melihat Tok Batin orang asli mempunyai handphone ... "Wah Tok Batin ...ada handphone ..ada coverage ka dekat sini ...?". Jawab Tok Batin: "Sini tak ada, tapi kalau encik mahu talipon saya punya handphone, kasi tau sama saya, saya boleh pergi ke bandar Rompin, sana ada coverage".

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KONDOM

Seorang penduduk orang asli mengadu pada pegawai kesihatan: "Doktor, doktor kata kalau pakai itu kondom, bini saya tak boleh beranak, tapi selepas saya pakai, dia beranak juga, sudah berduyun-dusyun anak saya." Tanya pegawai kesihatan: "Pakcik pakai kondom itu betulkah caranya?". Jawab orang asli: "Saya pakai betul pada tempatnya, cumanya saya ini orang Islam, bila saya tengok kondom itu tidak bersunat, saya pun sunatkanlah (khatankan) ..."