Dilema wanita mid 30s
Tak tahu la nak kata ni confession ke tak. Macam ni citer yer . Aku terjebak dgn phone sex almost a year. Akibat terjebak dengan apps omi, bumble etc. So, mula2 niat tu nak cari jodoh online tapi 99% dalam tu tak leh pakai. Jadi tertutup niat nak cari jodoh online. Tapi bila kesunyian malam2, install balik apps2 itu. Then bile borak makin ade chemistry, mule la turn on. Oh, aku mudah turn on dgr suare lelaki. Dan bertambah on, bila aku sendiri dah mula stim dan nak sex. Tapi nak buat sex betul2 memang tak berani la. Masih takut tuhan. So setakat hari ni berani buat phone sex je. And plus mostly laki dalam tu semua dah pernah buat sex. Aku pulak tak reti nak masturbate.Aku tahu aku berdosa. Tapi keinginan aku nak seks pon tinggi sampai aku tak boleh nak buat keje. Tak boleh nak fokus life aku. Aku perlukan belaian tapi tak dapat. Aku mcm xde push factor utk life aku. Rase x semangat je hari2.
Aku wanita mid 30s anak dara. Not career women. Suka duduk rumah. Kalau keluar bila ada tujuan sahaja.
Selalu berdoa nak kawen tapi ntahlah sebab masih belum kawen. Apa patut aku buat? Carilah kawan di FB.
FB okay gak.
Telus gak.
Mula mula.kawan.
Lepas itu if okay can fasa seterusnya.
Kawen. semoga dimudahkn urusan utk berkahwin tt Cari aktiviti la TT join hiking ke cycling ke mana tahu boleh bertemu jodoh. Edited by green~tea at 27-9-2022 03:21 PM
cari hobi sis... keluar berjalan dan bersosial dengan kawan2 yang elok2...
anyway.. masturbate je la sis.. asal jangan berzina dengan jantan, jangan sleep around sis...
honestly, lebih senang nak orgasm melalui masturbation berbanding dapat orgasm melalui sex dengan lelaki... i cuma pernah experience orgasm melalui sex dengan suami i yang sekarang aje... selama umur iols sehingga 37 tahun, iols tak pernah orgasm melalui hubungan sex...
its very hard to reach orgasm melalui sex melainkan dpt suami yang attentive dengan apa yang kita nak... alhamdulillah, akhirnya i dapat juga jumpa suami yang serasi dengan i & cukup nafkah zahir batin di usia 37 onwards... bayangkan, iols kawen sedari umur 23 and tak dapat mengecap apa tu erti sebenar perkahwinan pun.. bersyukur lah u sis, walau u rasa u down tak dapat kawen.. bagi iols, better lah jadi andartu daripada dapat suami level neraka takde nafkah zahir danbatin
tpwalau selama ni iols tak dapat nafkah batin dan zahir selama perkahwinan sebelum ni... iols reti je masturbate... at least i dapat kawal mencurang or jahat dengan cara memuaskan diri sendiri dgn masturbate la...
cuba u watch netflixtajuk "The Principles of Pleasure"... very insightful siap ada slot mengajar jenis2 sex toys.. i nak explain sini pun susah... better u tengok situ..
First of all, sex is a natural need. It is not sinful to want to have sex. Given to your circumstances, you obviously feel a certain way. But your problem is that you are focusing on sex too much. Get a hobby. Get creative. Get a social life. When you are feeling bored, the mind tends to wonder in evil ways that down the lane may create problems for you.
Get a hobby that will take your mind off of sex. Sex is natural. Sex is a part of life, not life itself. You need to better yourself. Keeping busy is best for the mind, body & soul. You need a balance. Tq yg komen. Appreciated it iols cadangkan hang utk cari hobi yg hang suka.. pastu pi wat hobi sambil berkenalan dgn org2 yg sama hobi.. kalau tak jumpa jodoh takpe, tapi toksah la wat bebenda tuh.. once dah terjebak, nak ubah susah, kena kental nak berubah..
jawapan iols berbeza dgn green tea.. iols rasa baik hang benti sebelum terlambat.. fokus kat bebenda lain, byk wat keje2 yg memanfaatkan drp menda leka.. harap hang berjaya kawal diri tuh.. green~tea replied at 19-9-2022 03:48 PM
cari hobi sis... keluar berjalan dan bersosial dengan kawan2 yang elok2...
anyway.. masturbate je l ...
Boleh ke masturebate.. kata dose.. aku dulu pernah masturebate skali tp lps kata dose takutlaa plk.. Tinot7 replied at 24-9-2022 03:15 PM
iols cadangkan hang utk cari hobi yg hang suka.. pastu pi wat hobi sambil berkenalan dgn org2 yg sam ...
Sis nak tanye cmn nak cari kawan ekk.. aku ni mcm susah nak beerkwn sdekala peelu kawan tp kalo kawan tuu nyakit ati aku malaslaaa . Mula mula berkenalam tuu aku ok.. pas tuu dia suke ngumpat org sana sini sinun aku erkkkkk... satu lg aku boriing kalo kawan dia dia dia.. dia saje yg pndai.. pndpt dia sajje yg betull.. Sian plk aku dengo cite ko.. Edited by green~tea at 27-9-2022 03:23 PM
Buritan replied at 27-9-2022 03:00 PM
Boleh ke masturebate.. kata dose.. aku dulu pernah masturebate skali tp lps kata dose takutlaa plk ...
Banding dengan zina sis... nauzubillah....
iols 12 tahun marriage dulu selamat walau pun dhaif nafkah zahir dan batin sbb iols bekerja sendiri & reti masturbate green~tea replied at 27-9-2022 03:19 PM
Banding dengan zina sis... nauzubillah....
Tu laa.. aku pun pikir mcm tuu baiklaa nasturebate dr berzina.. zina silap hb dpt pakej anak lg haruuu.. masturebate tuu takat ko sorang sorang ajelaa.. tadak risiko gambo bogel.. tadak risiko dpt anak.. hohoho.. tp tu laa tak boleh.. aku nasib dpt insapkan dri.. Buritan replied at 27-9-2022 03:23 PM
Tu laa.. aku pun pikir mcm tuu baiklaa nasturebate dr berzina.. zina silap hb dpt pakej anak lg ha ...
Aku jenis takde selera celup merata... tp aku tau nafsu aku kuat... sbb tu aku masturbate sepanjang marriage terdahulu... 6bulan skali baru dpt sex tu pun tutup lampu n kambus dlm selimut...
Aku rasa aku la pompuan paling huduh dlm dunia sbb suami sendiri x sentuh sgt
Alhamdulillah suami skang appreciate aku seadanya green~tea replied at 27-9-2022 03:25 PM
Aku jenis takde selera celup merata... tp aku tau nafsu aku kuat... sbb tu aku masturbate sepanjan ...
Aku pun nafsu kuat.. aku masturebate masa blm kawin.. hohoho..masa tuu dah bertunang dgn laki... aku brrangan ape aku buat masa kawin.. hohoho Buritan replied at 27-9-2022 03:29 PM
Aku pun nafsu kuat.. aku masturebate masa blm kawin.. hohoho..masa tuu dah bertunang dgn laki... a ...
Hahaa.. advance juga kaka ye... ye laa.. umur 20 an mmg merenyam nak menikoh.. :lol: :lol: :lol:
Alhamdulillah dapat suami yg sama2 bernafsu dgn each other... baru betul tujuan perkahwinan sbb betul2 cinta green~tea replied at 27-9-2022 04:20 PM
Hahaa.. advance juga kaka ye... ye laa.. umur 20 an mmg merenyam nak menikoh..
...
Nafsu muda sis oii.. masa dekat u roomate bantai bwk cd kucah.... dpt je tunang rasa sgt sgt bestt.. somisaya perfect dimata saye sajo.. mgkin dimata sis huduh.. ade aku kisah.. betul.. mmg merenyam.. hohoho Buritan replied at 27-9-2022 04:26 PM
Nafsu muda sis oii.. masa dekat u roomate bantai bwk cd kucah.... dpt je tunang rasa sgt sgt bestt ...
Takpe lah kita je pandang laki masing2 hensem teragung tercinta gituhhhh.. pedulik apa orang kata.. janji kita pandang dia tak jemu khuens...
Yang masalah tu kalo duk nampak orang lain punya lebih helok... nauzubillah... green~tea replied at 27-9-2022 04:27 PM
Takpe lah kita je pandang laki masing2 hensem teragung tercinta gituhhhh.. pedulik apa orang kata. ...
Hohoho.. saya nmpk somi saya hari hari patah amin ade mix dgn prince william ade campur dgn tom kurus.. mcm tu laa kacak somi saya.. hohoho Buritan replied at 27-9-2022 03:00 PM
Boleh ke masturebate.. kata dose.. aku dulu pernah masturebate skali tp lps kata dose takutlaa plk ...
https://www.google.com/amp/s/islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/329
I have a question which I am shy to ask but another sister who has come to Islam recently wants an answer to and I do not have an answer (with evidence from the Quran and Sunnah). I hope you can help and I hope Allah will forgive me if it is inappropriate but as Muslims we should never be shy in seeking knowledge. Her question was "Is it permissible in Islam to masturbate?"
May Allah increase us all in knowledge!
Summary of answer:Masturbation (for both men and women) is haram (forbidden) in Islam based on evidence from the Quran and the Sunnah. See the detailed answer for 13 tips on how to give up masturbation.
Answer
Praise be to Allah.
Is masturbation haram in Islam?
Masturbation (for both men and women) is haraam (forbidden) in Islam based on the following evidence:
Prohibition of masturbation in the Quran
Al-Imam Shafi'i stated that masturbation is forbidden based on the following verses from the Quran (interpretation of the meaning):
{And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts). Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, - for them, they are free from blame. But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors.} (Al-Muminun 23:5-7)
Here the verses are clear in forbidding all illegal sexual acts (including masturbation) except for the wives or what their right hand possesses. {And whoever seeks beyond that is the transgressor.}
Some scholars used as evidence the ayah (in meaning),
{And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah enriches them of His bounty.} (Al-Nur 24:33)
This verse also clearly orders whoever does not have the financial means to marry to keep himself chaste and be patient in facing temptations (including masturbation) until Allah enriches them of His bounty.
Prohibition of masturbation in the Sunnah
'Abdullaah ibn Mas’ud said, "We were with the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) while we were young and had no wealth whatsoever. Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said, 'O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power.'" (Al-Bukhari 5066)
The hadeeth orders men who are not able to marry to fast despite the hardship encountered in doing so, and not to masturbate despite the ease with which it can be done.
There is additional evidence that can be cited to support this ruling on masturbation, but due to the limited space we will not go through them here.
Tips on how to give up masturbation
As for curing/treating the habit of masturbation, we recommend the following suggestions:
1. The motive to seek a cure for this problem should be solely following Allah's orders and fearing His punishment.
2. A permanent and quick cure from this problem lies in marriage as soon as the person is able, as shown in the Prophet's (peace and blessings be upon him) hadeeth.
3. Keeping oneself busy with what is good for this world and the Hereafter is essential in breaking this habit before it becomes second nature after which it is very difficult to rid oneself of it.
4. Lowering the gaze (from looking at forbidden things such as pictures, movies etc.) will help suppress the desire before it leads one to commit the haram (forbidden). Allah orders men and women to lower their gaze as shown in the following two verses and in the Prophet's hadith.
{Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is all-aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) ..... } (24: 30-31)
Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "Do not follow a casual (unintentional) look (at forbidden things) with another look." (Al-Tirmidhi, 2777) This is a general instruction by the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) to abstain from all that may sexually excite a person because it might lead him/her to commit the haram (forbidden).
5. Using one's available leisure time in worshipping Allah and increasing religious knowledge.
6. Being cautious not to develop any of the medical symptoms that may result from masturbation such as weak eyesight, weak nervous system, and/or back pain. More importantly, feelings of guilt and anxiety that can be complicated by missing obligatory prayers because of the need to shower (ghusl) after every incidence of masturbation, especially in the winter, and the invalidating of the fast.
7. Avoiding the illusion that some youth have that masturbation is permissible because it prevents them from committing illegal sexual acts such as fornication or even homosexuality, while they may not be at the gates of that immorality to begin with.
8. Strengthening one's willpower and not surrendering to the shaytan, and avoiding spending time alone as recommended by the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) when he said "Do not spend the night alone" Ahmad, 6919.
9. Following the Prophet's (peace and blessings be upon him) aforementioned hadeeth and fasting when possible, because fasting will temper one's sexual desire and keep it under control. However, one should not overreact and swear by Allah not to return to the act because if one does not honor one's promise, one would be facing the consequences of not living up to one's oath to Allah. Also, note that medication to diminish one's sexual desire is strictly prohibited because it might permanently affect one's sexual ability.
10. Trying to follow the Prophet's (peace and blessings be upon him) recommendation concerning the etiquette of getting ready for bed, such as reading the well-known supplications, sleeping on the right side, and avoiding sleeping on the belly (the Prophet-peace and blessings be upon him- forbade sleeping on the belly).
11. Striving hard to be patient and chaste, because persistence will eventually, Allah willing, lead to attaining those qualities as second nature, as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) explains in the following hadith:
"Whoever seeks chastity Allah will make him chaste, and whoever seeks help from none but Allah, He will help him, and whoever is patient He will make it easy for him, and no one has ever been given anything better than patience." Al-Bukhari:1469.
12. If one falls into this sin, they must hasten to repent, asking forgiveness from Allah, doing good deeds, and not losing hope and feeling despair; these are all prerequisites to curing this problem. Note that losing hope is one of the major sins punishable by Allah.
13. Finally, Allah is the Most Merciful and He always responds to whoever calls on Him. So, asking for Allah's forgiveness and help will be accepted, by His will.